u/Double_Weird_6912

hey, G. it’s been a few days since we had our closure after 3 months of being broken up, and it hasn’t been easier for me since.

i didn’t expect to be mourning over our relationship this much, because in all honesty, 13 months together isn’t that long. but somehow, im beginning to think i’ll probably grieve over us for a long time.

maybe it’s the way you touched my soul, or how you were able to bring my walls down, or that how i already planned a future with you, and now im supposed to live on because now it’s never gonna happen. i don’t know.

i still look for you on my bad days. when i failed a major exam, you were the first one i wanted to call. when my friends weren’t paying attention to what i said, i wished you were there to listen instead. you were always my soft spot, my safe place, someone i didn’t have to humor myself around when the whole world felt like it was against me.

you’ll probably meet someone better and end up marrying that person. me? i’ll probably be still checking in on you from time to time. i’ll watch your favorite movies, listen to niki’s songs, order your go-to drinks, and read psychological thriller books just to feel you closer, even just for a moment.

i’ll be typing out my unsaid thoughts to you here for a couple of months, or even years, well, hopefully not that long. i mentioned this to you the last time we talked, and you jokingly asked if i wanted you to look for my unsent letters. maybe i did, maybe i didn’t. one way or another, i believe fate would let you come across these if you were meant to read them.

but don’t worry, i will never reach out to you. it will all remain unsent. i promise not to ruin your peace. :)

goodbye for now, G.

a year ago, when i failed an exam i studied all night for, you were the first one i ran to. you held me and i cried in your arms without saying anything, and somehow, you made everything feel lighter.

i swear i was moving on from you, i was getting better. but after another horrible exam, the only person i wanted to talk to was you. i badly wanted to cry in your arms again. suddenly, i was back to square one and calling you seemed like muscle memory, but i have lost that right a long time ago.

i started sobbing, at this point i wasn’t sure if i was crying over that damn exam or how much i was missing you again.

all i know is everything just seemed easier when i was with you.

if someone asked me a month ago if i would take you back if you asked me to, i would have said yes in a heartbeat.

but maybe time does heal all wounds. because even when i still long for you in the deepest and darkest nights, i am starting to realize that maybe it was the best for us to part ways.

and i hate this feeling, i hate that im moving on from you. i still think about you, i still look for you in every street we used to walk on, and i still love you with all my heart.

however, im prioritizing to love and respect myself above everything else.

even if it means i have to truly let you go.