u/Doubleuest

This post is unfortunately worth the read.

I know how crazy I am, and I plan to get help.

I am a 30 year old woman married to a man with a 3 year old. My girl loves her daddy and prefers him over me. For various reasons, I have considered divorcing my husband and expressed this to coworkers. We have a nonexistent sex life. We have talked about this and he just honestly doesn’t have a drive and I quit trying. I gained unwanted weight during pregnancy, let me house so into a huge mess, and lost myself.

I enjoy watching women’s basketball in my free time. I developed an obsession with a “random” female player who plays D1 basketball on TV. I stalk her socials multiple times a day, fantasize us getting married, making out after basketball games, somehow my daughter would work perfectly into this scenario and the 10 year age gap between us wouldn’t matter. This has been going on for about 3 weeks now.

Today I was hit with a ton of bricks. While I’m stalking her socials, I see she has a girlfriend. I was crushed and told myself it wasn’t true it was AI. It is true: the woman I fantasize about instead of spending time with my daughter has a girlfriend. I don’t even fucking know this girl and she doesn’t know me!!!!!!!!!! I know wayyyyyy too much about her and this, this was a “secret.” I feel so freaking crazy right

My obsession (which has been strong for 3 weeks) has caused me to:

1. Do things to improve my physical appearance
2. Lose weight (lost 15 pounds)
   3 clean up my house.
   My motivation is her. The girl I don’t even know.

I had started doing all 3 of these things prior to this twisted obsession I’ve had for 3 weeks. The obsession started off a little crush a couple months ago.

How do I go about helping myself? Getting help? Why am I doing this to myself? Can anyone relate? I’m a fool and an idiot thinking I could look good for this girl who’s never seen me and doesn’t know of my existence. I have fantasized conversations in my head.

Additional info: I have been drinking THC drinks for 3 weeks now, that’s when the fantasies get really bad and was more than a crush. I do not think I’m bisexual. I just had a crazy obsession with her.

This post is unfortunately worth the read.

I know how crazy I am, and I plan to get help.

I am a 30 year old woman married to a man with a 3 year old. My girl loves her daddy and prefers him over me. For various reasons, I have considered divorcing my husband and expressed this to coworkers. We have a nonexistent sex life. We have talked about this and he just honestly doesn’t have a drive and I quit trying. I gained unwanted weight during pregnancy, let me house so into a huge mess, and lost myself.

I enjoy watching women’s basketball in my free time. I developed an obsession with a “random” female player who plays D1 basketball on TV. I stalk her socials multiple times a day, fantasize us getting married, making out after basketball games, somehow my daughter would work perfectly into this scenario and the 10 year age gap between us wouldn’t matter. This has been going on for about 3 weeks now.

Today I was hit with a ton of bricks. While I’m stalking her socials, I see she has a girlfriend. I was crushed and told myself it wasn’t true it was AI. It is true: the woman I fantasize about instead of spending time with my daughter has a girlfriend. I don’t even fucking know this girl and she doesn’t know me!!!!!!!!!! I know wayyyyyy too much about her and this, this was a “secret.” I feel so freaking crazy right now.

My obsession (which has been strong for 3 weeks) has caused me to:

1. Do things to improve my physical appearance
2. Lose weight (lost 15 pounds)
   3 clean up my house.
   My motivation is her. The girl I don’t even know.

I had started doing all 3 of these things prior to this twisted obsession I’ve had for 3 weeks. The obsession started off a little crush a couple months ago.

How do I go about helping myself? Getting help? Why am I doing this to myself? Can anyone relate? I’m a fool and an idiot thinking I could look good for this girl who’s never seen me and doesn’t know of my existence.

Additional info: I have been drinking THC drinks for 3 weeks now, that’s when the fantasies get really bad and was more than a crush. I do not think I’m bisexual. I just had a crazy obsession with her. She was everything a man wasn’t in my mind.