vent
i don’t know if this is the right place for this, so let me kjow if there is somewhere better
im heading into my sophomore year in college. i am recruiting pc’26 in the fall, and i’m excited to meet them. however during my first semester, i was bullied by almost my entire sorority, whether it was verbally, behind my back, or just as a bystander. I went thru rush week and the first week of school with my old roomate, who I will call Amanda (Fake Name). I thought we were going to be amazing friends and close for life going into the school year. however, after those two weeks, she did not talk to me for around a month, and i didn’t get a reason why. ontop of that, my rush group - who also lived on my floor - stopped talking to me. there would be shushed conversations when i walked past, doors that were open and inviting would suddenly shut. I will admit, i was very hurt by it, but i tried my hardest not to show it. i was more excited to get to know my new sisters. everything was going fine until Amanda spoke to me again for a week, the same week we got our bigs. I was happy, i was trying my hardest to be communicative, and the other girls seemed to open up a bit more. we got our bigs on a wednesday, and she left that weekend to deal with some family stuff. when she got back, we stopped speaking again for another two months. i ignore it, and time goes by until it’s about one week until thanksgiving break. Amanda breaks the silence one last time to tell me she is moving out for her mental health. i said thats fine, and i gave her the room for the day. it was friday, i just went to my sorority house and studied. i get back and her side is empty aside from inside her closet, which she clears out that sunday. that was the last time i spoke to her. the week i’m supposed to head home for thanksgiving break, im with a guy in my, now single, room, when i get a knock on the door. and low and behold it is teo girls, tiffany and carmen (fake names), from my rush group. the pull me out and basically told me that Amanda and the whole rush group, including them, were talking shit about me all semester. They said that Amanda said that I was bullying her, leaving the room a pigstye, and being a bad person.
While i will admit i’m not the tiktok clean girl clean, i
never left trash out, and it was only ever clothes on
the floor, which i kept far far away from her space of
the room.
They ultimatly apologized for their actions, and i forgave them, because at the end of the day, they were not the first to do this to me (highschool flashbacks). however they bring up that girls in the sorority were also talking shit about me. i don’t think about it much at the tims, because of the guy) and a few days past. It’s now wednesday and i remember what they said. i message my greek fam consiting of my big, charlotte, and my twins, jaiden, and alex. (still fake names). I ask them what they know. charlotte reveals that she thought i had an executive standards meeting about bullying and tolorance in my sorority. i never got an email, never had a meeting, and there was no record of it. this sends me into a spiral and i’m basically laying into them over text why none of them thought to ask me if it was true or not (comes up later). i get sent into a spiral and i call over tiffany to my room to chat. i’m bawling and breaking down and i ask her: what all was said about me. she said (from my memory);
- I told a girl, phoebe for later purposes, that she must be confident wearing that dress because I would be swimming in it (during formal, basically calling her fat)
- i constantly talked shit about amanda behind her back about how she is a b*tch and so on
- I called our chapter prez (now old prez) fat during recruitment
- more im forgetting because this was a while ago, but you get the gist of it.
I keep breaking down and i ask who all knew, and she said everyone knew. she tries to comfort me, but ultimatly i had her leave and i was left alone in my room. i go back to messaging my greek fam and basically asked why they never told me and why they would believe it. they wouldn’t give me a straight answer. i was very hung up on the part asking why they would believe it, because it hurt me most that they thought that was somthing i could do. it goes back and forth of me asking and them not getting a straight answer until i turned off my phone and just zoned out for the rest of the night. i tried to go about the next day normally, and it goes smooth until night, when im walking back to my dorm with another sister amelia. amelia tells me that phoebe, and her best friend, started the rumor about me talking shit about them and amanda, and that amanda started that stuff about me calling phoebe and the chapter prez fat. i tried not to cry and i went to my dorm to process. i decided to ignore it.
Thanksgiving break goes by, no more parties (unforch) and finals are now a week away. i find out that phoebe and her best friend arn’t returning to the sorority due to bullying issues (them to others) and gpa (0.0 for the sem…). Phoebe reaches out to me on snap and says that all the stuff i heard was accually said by her best friend and by amelia. i don’t believe it because i just wanted to let it go. the semester ends, i make new friends in the house, and in feburary, the best friend tries to reach out, take a little accountabilith but blames Phoebe. at that point i was over it and just ignored her like i did phoebe. however, during our last spring inish, around our circle, i finally told the story to the best of my account. Lately it has been digging at me, so i just wanted a place to put my full story and my full truth. i never talked shit, i never said a mean word to anyone. i love all my sisters and only wish the best for them. with that, i just need a place to vent with my story. to all those rushing in the fall or spring- everyones story is different. my house had and has some bad apples, and recruitment is the way it is to try to find everyone their home. my house is my home, and nothing changes that.