r/Sororities

hi, i’m a sophomore rushing at UT going through recruitment. For sisterhood round, i got back a “top house” out of the few houses i received back. In lind they were very few girls and i felt surprised i was there because i didn’t know any of the actives prior and didn’t come from a known city/zip code. I’m scared i’m not what they are looking for but i truly formed great connections in the house. What are my chances of getting a bid back?

I was dropped from recruitment last night after the philanthropy round. I had two houses left at that point, and there was one chapter that I really, genuinely connected with and fell in love with.

For context, I’m at a large SEC school, and we had a couple hundred more PNMs than normal this year, so recruitment was extremely competitive. My Pi Chis actually told me they were just as shocked by my drop and that they normally receive the calls earlier in the process. From everything I’ve been told, this wasn’t because I said or did something inappropriate during recruitment, but rather a numbers/competitiveness situation. Obviously, I don’t know exactly what happens behind the scenes, so I’m not trying to claim I know the chapter’s reasoning.

One of the members I spoke with at the chapter I loved specifically told me that I could always DM her if I had questions about recruitment. Since I’m no longer participating, I’m wondering if it would be appropriate to message her and let her know that I’m extremely interested in the chapter and that if they were ever to offer me a snap bid, I would 100% accept it. I have a direct link to the philanthropy, and the actives I spoke to genuinely seemed to value my story.

I know snap bids are rare, and I obviously don’t expect her to be able to make that decision herself. I also don’t want to come across as trying to circumvent recruitment or pressure her/the chapter into giving me a bid. I mostly want to make sure that, if the chapter does consider snap bids, they know I’m genuinely interested and would accept.

Would this be considered inappropriate? Or is it reasonable to let her know I’m interested?

And if it is okay to DM her, how would you word it?

My sister is currently rushing at a SEC school. I was not in a sorority & am trying to understand how this all works to support her during pref round & bid day. My question is as follows…

Let’s say I am rushing. For pref round I get back 1 house only. I go to the house and rank / vote for it. Do I automatically get a bid? Or is this the same as suicide bidding (SIP)?

Furthermore, if I am not guaranteed a bid for the 1 house only situation… is it possible that a girl would get a bid over me that got back 2 houses and had my potential house second? Let’s say she was ranked low by both sororities and I am ranked above her in the one house I got back for pref. If so, why should she get the bid over me?

Please someone make it make sense!!!

I’m a first-year student going through sorority recruitment, and I’m trying to figure out what to do about a scheduling conflict.

I’m on my university’s cheer team, and we have a game on the exact same day as Bid Day. The game is supposedly mandatory, and I really, really love cheer and don’t want to miss one of the few games we have.

At the same time, I know Bid Day is a huge deal and there’s only one. It seems like such an important opportunity to meet everyone in my new chapter.

I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where they had to miss Bid Day because of another commitment. How did it affect your experience with your chapter? Did you feel like you missed out on an important bonding moment, or were you able to catch up with everyone afterward?

I’m also planning to talk to both my cheer team and my RC to see if there’s a way to work it out, but I’d love to hear from anyone who has actually experienced something similar!

Hi, my daughter was set to go through rush (at a SEC school with a fairly competitive recruitment). She had a family conflict (a wedding) for the first two days of rush which she was excused for. After that, we discovered she was cut from every single house on the first day except one (and it was her absolute last-ranked choice; they let her submit her preferences ahead of time due to the wedding conflict).

She has decided -- independent of rush -- to not go to the school and stay closer to home (we are out of state), but I'm wondering why she got such a severe cut.

She has a 2.5 GPA and an even worse final spring transcript from high school (she was admitted to college on the strength of her SAT and personal essay). However, she explained in her rush application this was due to struggles with undiagnosed ADHD throughout high school which we finally got a handle on in 11th grade.

Could she have automatically been cut due to grades? I saw her PNM video has been watched by the YT count. I know I'm her mom so I'm biased, but she is a conventionally attractive girl and speaks very well and animatedly on camera. She also had several (real--from people who know her personally) letters of recommendation and is a legacy in two houses (I know this doesn't give any real weight, but just saying).

She doesn't care as her plans have changed, but I'm super shocked and wanted to know if such a severe cut really could be due to grades.

She plans to rush next fall as a sophomore when she's settled into her new school plan, and I'd like to make sure we understand how everything works so she has a better shot. (Again--she is not upset about this experience and her change of plans had to do solely with feeling that she wanted to study closer to home.)

I am a junior right now and it is currently 6th week of my semester. I had decided to finally stop being anxious and actually rush this year so I could finally get the opportunity to make some new friends, and get the greek experience I watched a many friends have.

I rushed the two sororities my school actually has, and was invited to preference by one of them. It wasn't my first choice, but I still ended up going. The Event itself was really heartwarming, to be able to hear so many stories, it was truly an emotional event.

however according to what we were all told and what the information given to me. we were supposed to get a form sent to us asking why we want to join and what we like about the sorority.

I never recieved such an email or anything which just felt like another nail in the coffin at this point. You go through the trouble of inviting me to preference, which I had a great time, but then when it comes to the next step.. nothing??

I already had my crashout about not getting any bids for the last 3 weeks, and to make it worse bid day was today aswell. There still is technically a chance for me to get a bid though the coming weeks, but I dont have high hopes.

Is this something normal that can happen? Think it was just an accident? Or maybe me being trans has something to do with it (I really hope not lol)

im just curious what you guys all think, and if there is anything that I can or should do.

Thanks!!

EDIT: Since a few were confused, both of the sororities are COB :)

I’m at UT Austin right now, and I’m confused and disappointed. I’d love advice from anyone .
there are 13 sororities. After opening convocation, we had to rank our top 10. we hadn’t even met the sororities yet.
axo is my dream . It’s NOT a “top” sorority at UT, but it was the reason I decided to rush.
I tailored my resume for axo, had at least 3 recommendations (including UT alumni) and chose my values for values-based recruitment based on the values associated with their chapter.
today I found out I didn’t get an invite from axo. They cut me before I had the chance to meet anyone in the chapter.
I ranked Theta, even though it’s the top sorority here, and I ended up getting 7 houses back (the maximum is 10).
I need to stop focusing on the chapter that cut me and be open-minded about the houses that did invite me back.
But I’m struggling I can’t stop wondering why they cut me because many actives follow me, i had recommendations (from alumni from ut), and i tailored my application to them.

should i be concerned that I only got seven houses back when the max is 10?

I’m looking for outside perspective/advice on a sorority billing/collections situation because I feel like I’ve exhausted the internal routes and I genuinely don’t know what avenue is left.

I want to be clear up front: I am not claiming I owed nothing, and I never told anyone I refused to pay. My issue is that there was a billing problem, I kept trying to resolve it for months, I was given conflicting information about what could be changed, and the chapter ultimately sent the full disputed balance to collections before the situation was meaningfully resolved.

The part I’m most struggling with is the inconsistent treatment.

Throughout this process, I was repeatedly told certain things could not be done because of “policy.” For example:

• I was told I could not be placed on associate status for two consecutive semesters.
• I was told certain senior benefits depended on payment status.
• I was told I could not receive a senior gift after the order deadline, even if I paid later.
• I was told there were limits on what accommodations could be made because of policy/timing.
• I was ultimately sent to collections.

But I personally know members in very similar situations who received exceptions.

At least one member I know was allowed associate status for two consecutive semesters even though I was specifically told that was not allowed. Two members I personally know had unpaid balances but still participated in senior photos. One of them was also allowed to keep her stole despite not paying. I also know members with unpaid balances who still received senior gifts even though I was told those could not be ordered or given to me unless I had already paid.

These are not assumptions based on photos or rumors. These members are my friends and told me directly that they had not paid.

I also brought up the inconsistent treatment during a phone call with the chapter advisor. I deliberately did not name anyone. According to my recollection, she immediately asked if I was talking about a specific member. I told her I was not going to name names. She then said something along the lines of, “It’s not like I’m telling you their financial status.”

What makes the current privacy response especially frustrating is that when I now raise inconsistent treatment with the national organization, they essentially respond that they cannot discuss other members’ financial information.

I completely understand that they should not disclose anyone’s private financial records to me. I am not asking them to. I am asking them to internally verify whether exceptions were made and explain whether comparable discretion was considered in my case.

The advisor’s conduct during that call is also a major reason I feel uncomfortable with how this was handled.

I had been trying to get in touch with her for weeks. She only called after I followed up again with multiple members of chapter leadership and they contacted her again on my behalf.

During the call, I was actively crying. My recollection is that she was laughing during the conversation while I was upset and trying to discuss a sensitive financial issue. When I called it out, she became defensive. She repeatedly emphasized that she was only a volunteer and made comments about having better things to do with her weekend evening / not wanting to spend the rest of her night dealing with this.

I understand that volunteers have lives and limited time. But she was the person I had been directed to in order to resolve the dispute, and I had already been trying to reach her for weeks. Being treated like I was wasting her time while I was actively trying to resolve something that could potentially affect my credit was honestly humiliating.

I also want to be accurate about the senior-photo situation: I was not formally barred from attending.

The call with the advisor happened the night before the photos, despite my having tried to resolve the issue well before then. I was so upset after the call that I cried to a close friend for about an hour, and by the end of the interaction I felt uncomfortable enough that I no longer wanted to attend the photos the next morning.

So I do not want to characterize it as “they banned me from senior photos,” because that is not what happened. But the way the situation was handled directly affected whether I felt comfortable participating in what should have been a positive senior event.

There were also major communication issues throughout the year.

I raised the original billing problem early in the academic year and asked to be placed on installments because I could not pay a large lump sum all at once. I had used installments before.

I was told in writing that my billing type could be changed after I signed the financial agreement and selected installments. I relied on that representation.

I did not sign the agreement immediately, and I take responsibility for that delay. But I had already communicated the billing problem and asked for installments before I signed.

I was never subsequently told that the billing issue had been corrected or given a clear updated amount. I also did not log back into the billing portal until later in the semester. I take responsibility for not checking it sooner. I was in an extremely busy semester completing a major senior project, but I had been communicating directly with the finance officer about the problem and believed I would be updated once the billing issue had been corrected.

By the time I realized the Fall balance had not been handled the way I understood it would be, the semester was essentially over. That is what ultimately led me to ask whether the bill could be adjusted to reflect my actual participation, i.e. where associate for two semesters becomes relevant.

I want to emphasize that my request for installments was never based on expecting to owe less. The point was that I needed time to pay rather than being expected to pay a large lump sum all at once. However, the bill was never actually corrected or restructured in a way that reflected the installment arrangement I had been told could be applied. Because that never happened, the balance remained unresolved for most of the semester, which in turn affected my ability and willingness to participate normally. By the time I realized the billing issue had not been fixed as I understood it would be, the semester was essentially over. At that point, I no longer felt that being charged the full active-member amount fairly reflected what had happened. I acknowledged my own delays, but the unresolved billing issue and lack of follow-up from the chapter also contributed to the situation. That is why I later asked for an adjustment rather than simply refusing to pay.

Over the next several months, I continued trying to resolve the balance and repeatedly said I was willing to pay an amount that fairly reflected the situation.

Eventually, during the advisor call, we discussed a reduced amount in the hundreds of dollars. I do not have that exact figure in writing, so I am not presenting it as a formal written agreement.

I also remember being told during the call that the billing website was down.

I was never sent an updated balance reflecting the verbal discussion, never given payment instructions for that amount, never given a deadline, and never told that I was expected to pay the verbally discussed amount before the online balance would be changed.

Now the organization’s position is essentially that I “never paid the amount that was discussed.”

But nobody ever explained that process to me.

If someone had told me, “Pay X amount now, and then we will adjust the remaining balance,” and given me clear instructions for how to do that, I could have made an informed decision.

Instead, I was given a verbal number, no written confirmation, no deadline, no payment instructions, and the billing website was apparently unavailable during the call.

I also never said I would not pay. I repeatedly said I wanted to resolve the situation and was willing to pay what was fair.

The full disputed balance, which was in the low four figures, was eventually sent to collections.

I later learned that a termination/appeal email had been sent to me, but it had gone to spam. Communication issues with sorority email had already been something I had discussed with chapter members.

What bothers me is that nobody texted me to say that a time-sensitive appeal process had started, even though chapter leadership used text messages to contact me about other important issues, including telling me that the account was going to collections.

I also continued receiving normal billing statements afterward, including one with a future due date, which made me think the account was still being handled through the regular billing system.

I have now disputed the account with the collection agency as well.

When I escalated all of this internally, the response has mostly been that “policy was followed.”

But many of my actual questions still have not been answered, especially:

• whether exceptions were made for other members and why similar discretion was not considered in my case;
• whether the advisor’s conduct was actually reviewed;
• why I was given conflicting billing instructions;
• why I was never given a practical opportunity or instructions to pay the verbally discussed reduced amount;
• and why the full disputed balance was sent to collections before these issues were meaningfully resolved.

I’m not asking whether sorority dues are enforceable in general. I’m mainly wondering:

1. Is there any meaningful way to challenge inconsistent enforcement of policies when an organization keeps saying “policy” but clearly makes exceptions for other members?
2. Is there anyone outside the sorority’s own internal structure who might actually review chapter/advisor conduct fairly — Panhellenic, a university office, consumer protection, etc.?
3. Does the fact that I was never given real payment instructions or a meaningful opportunity to pay the verbally discussed reduced amount matter?
4. Is advisor conduct like this something Panhellenic or a national organization would normally review?
5. If a national sorority sends a disputed balance to collections, what avenue actually gets someone to review the underlying dispute instead of just repeating policy back to you?
6. Am I looking at this incorrectly? I recognize that I had an obligation to pay dues and that I made mistakes in how quickly I handled parts of this. But does that mean the organization is justified in ignoring the conflicting instructions, exceptions for similarly situated members, and unresolved negotiations before sending the entire disputed balance to collections?

I’m genuinely trying to be fair about my own mistakes here. I know I should have handled some things faster. But I also feel like “policy” is being used very selectively when the same policies have been bent or exceptions made for others in extremely similar situations.

Any advice from people who understand sorority governance, Panhellenic, collections, or consumer disputes would be really appreciated.

i’m rushing right now and didn’t get any of the houses i clicked with back. i’m honestly thinking of trying again next year because i really did want to join those & maybe id have a better shot at getting those ones back next year?? i also got dropped by a lot after a video round which i think doesnt make much sense since its just a video. idk will i have worse chances as a sophomore or will they remember me and not want me back?? this is at UF by the way

My daughter is a freshman at a big SEC school. She just went through Rush and it was brutal. She tried to keep an open mind but continued to be dropped by houses where she thought she made a connection. For Pref, she was left with a chapter she didn’t love and one she would not join. She decided to SIP for the chapter she was lukewarm about and got a bid. She is still trying to give it a chance and I know it is still early, but this is definitely not the fun exciting experience we hoped for her. I don’t want her to settle or feel like she is not proud to be in her chapter. Any thoughts or advice ?

I am the Director of Scholarship for my sorority and I have no idea what to do with our scholarship committee. I've talked to my VP and she has absolutely no idea because apparently no one really ever does anything with it and I really want to at least try.

Hi! So, I’m an incoming sophmore and a half (graduating early) and I go to a small school with no NPC or NPHC. But we do have Greek life.

Our pledge process consists of the entire first semester, going to parties and sober events and basically more focused on making natural connections with your group… this was no issue, I love a lot of my sisters.

Bid night looked more like the 80-90’s. Not allowed to leave my room from 3:30 til 11pm except for a 1hr dinner break. I was rushing with my roommate so that helped. They came and got me first (pledge class of 10 girls, 1NB) and they faked me out, said I didn’t get a bid and then flash mobbed me (tradition)

Then they handed me a 64oz “baby bottle” filled with a drink i’d indicated I enjoyed. Told it was for me to enjoy for the night and “not to worry if I ran out”
One of my other friends does not drink, she received the same type of bottle but no alcohol.
Then after we were all given our bids, we had a party where they then “iced” us except..the non drinkers got caprisuns and others got a bottle of Boones farm. “You don’t have to chug it…but it would be really cool”
2 weeks later- we have a 4 day break from school. The school assigns this as the only period where pledging a new member is acceptable.

I got new “names” and poems and clothing I had to wear all week, we were never allowed to be alone without another pledge or active. We carried a stuffy that was “the 11th sister” and were required to hold hands with our PC whenever we were walking around. If we were walking anywhere, we were blindfolded.
We had many mundane rules about colors we could wear (other sororities on campus’s colors), how to address actives, and general rules of conduct that were pretty stupid (cannot eat/chew/drink standing up. Must not look frats in the eyes. Was not allowed to speak to my bf who was pledging at the same time. Was told I was considered “single” until I “married” the sorority)
We had a list of tasks ranging from “make the actives a song about breakfast” to “acquire cigarettes for the actives” or “bring alum back from her home country” (basically intentionally impossible.) one of these that was assigned to me specifically was to dye my hair. I did technically do this of my own free will.
No one was allowed to drink until the last night. Where they put us in a bathroom with loud music and alcohol and pulled us out, drunkenly. One by one. to take our “Philo test” which we all passed regardless.

There were personal interactions that have made it to where I can’t fully trust certain actives after pledging. Mainly the ones I hadn’t gotten close to before receiving my bid. (In one moment specifically; I asked to take a shot with the actives before knowing the rule. one active told me to “open wide” and threw the shot at me. I later learned it was water, I was still upset)

I love my PC and I have sisters who I love very much, but others upset me a lot during pledging and idk how to move forward. Especially with this year coming up, Its most common to take a little the season after you take your vows. I don’t want to make my little feel like I did during those four days. My big pulled me aside a LOT and constantly made sure I was okay. We were able to step away when it was overwhelming but I personally see issues with the process in general. What do I do? I have no power, I’m basically GenPop (I’m the DJ)

TL;DR- might have been hazed, means I can’t trust certain members. How do I stay with the friends I’m close with if I wouldn’t feel comfortable rushing PC’27 under the same environment I went through?

I’m very interested in joining a D9 (I volunteer with some alumni regularly in my organizations and I hold a deep amount of respect for them) anyways I’m a planner I’m a senior in high school applying to colleges. When I say I’m a planner I’ve had my essay,resume,personal statement,volunteer hours, and recommendation letters since July. I essentially am asking if I should prepare now I’ve been kinda lurking here for months as I’ve known I’ve wanted to be involved since I was 13 (I’m a history nerd and I read for fun) so I learned a lot. Do I prepare now or am I being an anxious person 😭 (btw yes I am white but I’m Louisiana creole and I hold a standard for myself of not involving myself in things my own family wouldn’t be welcome in and I heavily I don’t go into things blind)

Hi! I was wondering how important your Instagram is for rush. I moved around a bit in high school, and it was hard to keep friends, so really none of my posts have pictures of my friends and me, and the comments are really only from my cousins. Will sororities drop me or think badly of me because of this, even though in reality I'm a social person? Should I archive all my posts before rush? I'm not rushing SEC or anything; the sororities at my school seem chiller.

Also my account is private. Should I make it public? Thanks!

Is it okay to go out during recruitment if you don’t drink? Especially during welcome week

I was recently elected as my school's Panhellenic president, and one of my main goals is to boost student interest in joining. We have a small community with only three sororities, none of which have houses due to an old school rule. Not many people participate in rush, probably because I believe there’s little interest among students. I experienced a much bigger rush at PSU, so I’m seeking advice on several points:
- How to attract more students, especially freshmen
- Possibilities for obtaining sorority houses
- Ways to improve our social media presence
- Strategies to make rush more structured, since it’s very informal here
- General ideas to strengthen the Panhellenic community and experience
- Add more chapters to campus

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!