u/Consistent_Key4156

Hi, my daughter was set to go through rush (at a SEC school with a fairly competitive recruitment). She had a family conflict (a wedding) for the first two days of rush which she was excused for. After that, we discovered she was cut from every single house on the first day except one (and it was her absolute last-ranked choice; they let her submit her preferences ahead of time due to the wedding conflict).

She has decided -- independent of rush -- to not go to the school and stay closer to home (we are out of state), but I'm wondering why she got such a severe cut.

She has a 2.5 GPA and an even worse final spring transcript from high school (she was admitted to college on the strength of her SAT and personal essay). However, she explained in her rush application this was due to struggles with undiagnosed ADHD throughout high school which we finally got a handle on in 11th grade.

Could she have automatically been cut due to grades? I saw her PNM video has been watched by the YT count. I know I'm her mom so I'm biased, but she is a conventionally attractive girl and speaks very well and animatedly on camera. She also had several (real--from people who know her personally) letters of recommendation and is a legacy in two houses (I know this doesn't give any real weight, but just saying).

She doesn't care as her plans have changed, but I'm super shocked and wanted to know if such a severe cut really could be due to grades.

She plans to rush next fall as a sophomore when she's settled into her new school plan, and I'd like to make sure we understand how everything works so she has a better shot. (Again--she is not upset about this experience and her change of plans had to do solely with feeling that she wanted to study closer to home.)

I know this is probably pretty normal, but I'm starting to panic a little. My daughter struggled in high school (undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety, etc.). By senior year she had a better handle on things, took the SAT, and wrote a really good personal essay. She was accepted to a variety of colleges that use holistic review (test scores, etc.) rather than strict GPA for admittance. She visited and chose one of the schools; it's a very good school but a few states away from home.

She is due to move there in three weeks and now she says she doesn't want to go. She says she wants to go to community college and transfer to an in-state school. (She is not eligible for any of our state schools because our state is test-blind and goes only on GPA, and she has a D or two in core classes which they automatically won't accept.) Then she waffles and says "maybe" she wants to go. I told her we'd support her decision, but she is upset because she "knows" we want her to go to 4-year. (This is true, and I admitted it, but said "it is your decision.")

She has a boyfriend who she is spending all her time with this summer--that's fine, but he is not helping things. He admittedly did tell her to go to the 4-year, but then told her she should stay home if she really wants and he'll help her navigate community college. (He did a CC to state school transfer himself.)

I really don't want her to pass up the opportunity. It was such an achievement getting her into 4-year college overall. She has registered for classes, chosen her housing, and found a roommate. She is also doing sorority rush and submitted all her materials for that. Right now all she has to do is set up her student ID so we can secure a move-in time, and she's pretty much refusing to do it. I told her to do it "just in case." She says OK, then doesn't do it.

Additionally we are moving to a new city (still in-state) and right now, pivoting to a whole new plan is going to be difficult. I get that it's a lot of change at once.

We have told her to just try fall semester. If she hates it, she can come home, but I think she will like it once she tries it. You can go to CC any time you want. You can't "get back" your freshman fall semester--it's a once in a lifetime thing. I'm worried she's not going to go, and then regret it later (very par for her personality). Plus she's already all set up for classes and if she can do one semester she'll get transferrable credits. The school she's going to has great mental health supports and accomodations for neurodiverse students.

This is making me lose sleep. What do we do? Wait until the very last second and pray she gets on the plane?