ENFJ dating ESFJ: am I overthinking or sensing incompatibility?
ENFJ Male here. Recently started dating this girl and honestly things are going great overall. We get along, there’s attraction, effort, consistency, all of that. But there’s this weird feeling I keep running into that I can’t fully explain, so I wanted to ask other ENFJs if they’ve experienced this.
The best way I can describe it is like a “missed high five” feeling in conversation. Like our timing, energy, or way of viewing things just slightly misses each other constantly. No arguments or toxicity — just a different frequency.
As an ENFJ, I really value mental/emotional stimulation in connection. Lately I’ve noticed myself feeling mentally bored sometimes, but more than that… emotionally underfed. Like I leave interactions caring about her, but not necessarily feeling energized, deeply seen, or mentally lit up. Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying the emotional/conversational momentum, and it leaves me drained instead of connected.
What’s confusing is that on paper everything seems good, which makes me question myself.
So I’m curious:
- Have any other ENFJs experienced this?
- Was it just early dating and a rhythm issue?
- Or did that “different frequency” feeling end up being incompatibility in the long run?
Trying to figure out whether this is me overanalyzing or my intuition picking up on something real.