r/ESFJ

▲ 14 r/ESFJ

Hate being an ESFJ

Hi,
I guess I am hating how caring I am and how much I want to help people, although I deeply know that they won’t do the same if they were in my place.

I have a feeling that I want to change this trait in me.

Has anyone else successfully transitioned away from being an extreme people-pleaser/over-giver?

How do you stop caring so much about people who don't match your energy?

Also, if you have any book recommendations that deal with setting boundaries, stopping the urge to rescue everyone , I would really appreciate it.

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u/Comfortable_Way713 — 4 days ago
▲ 82 r/ESFJ+16 crossposts

WYR: You are going head-to-head with Superman in a death battle, which pill are you taking?

Each pill grants you a package of 3 distinct abilities sorted by tiers (T1 > T2 > T3$).You will be fighting Superman in a Death Arena that is about the size of a football field. You have no prep time.

*Each Use of Kryptonite Emission gives you a 5% chance of a fatal heart attack. The emitted kryptonite will nerf Superman for approximately 40 seconds.

View Poll

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u/Jeloxia2 — 5 days ago
▲ 5 r/ESFJ

I'm an INFJ in a situation-ship with a ESFJ. What can I do to make this turn into a full relationship? As an INFJ, what should I do and what should I avoid?

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u/Emila_Just — 8 days ago
▲ 12 r/ESFJ

I'm an ESFJ who's afraid to bond with people

I want to have a huge friendgroup, but my social anxiety stops me from doing so. I believe people hate me sometimes

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u/Professional-Pack-39 — 10 days ago
▲ 5 r/ESFJ

Need Help Making an ESFJ Understand

I just need some perspective on this because I feel as if there is something that I am not seeing or understanding.

I'm an INTP (F) in an LDR relationship with an ESFJ (M). Our relationship is very fun, exciting, and overall good even in LDR; however, there is a recurrent problem that we can't seem to cross and that is communication. We've probably had the communications argument/discussion every quarterly and this point, but while I try my level best to maintain it, his communication and contact comes and goes. He will have days where he wants nothing but to talk to me and then there will be days to weeks where he will want his space, which also means that endearments and even relationship bids will fall off. He also becomes very business-like and straightforward.

It makes me feel as if the onus of maintaining the relationship falls on me because if I don't text or call, our communication almost becomes nil during these periods. Whenever I bring this up, he cites job and study stress, but I feel as if texting one or two sentences in a day isn't much? It becomes a sore point in our relationship where when we discuss it, he doesn't seem to understand what is upsetting me no matter how clearly (in my perspective) I explain it and rather that it's because I have set some "new standard."

Can anyone help me navigate this or even understand his perspective because I feel as if we're going in circles at this point.

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u/mcthballs — 9 days ago
▲ 21 r/ESFJ+8 crossposts

MBTI & Parents

Hi everyone,
I was wondering if anyone has ever had their elderly parents take an MBTI test? I’m really interested in hearing how it went. Did you encounter any difficulties because of the generational gap? For instance, did you feel that some questions, examples, or assumptions of the test didn’t quite fit your parents’ experiences, and you had to rephrase or explain them differently?

I’d love to hear about your experiences.

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u/Learner-Pro — 14 days ago
▲ 9 r/ESFJ

How to reassure and comfort ESFJs :D?

I am an INTP (F) with developed Fe, my husband is an ESFJ. Exactly! We are polar opposites and that fascinates me so much. Because when I bottle my emotions, he reminds me that it's okay to feel. And when he gets too consumed by his emotions, I give him clear logical solutions.

I do overthink though that sometimes it's not what he wants to hear, I mean we do communicate very thoroughly and try to understand each other. But I have a feeling he's adjusting to the way I treat him. Do ESFJs love being loved in their own love language or in other people's love language? 🤔🤔🤔

He's very kind and delicate to me and I'm scared that my logical mindset may be too brutal for him (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠). So how to comfort my ESFJ man without sounding like a tsundere Asian mom?

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u/Hawootim — 10 days ago