In this age and taking into account what we are moving towards, what skill/certificate/degree an INTP should invest in to make themselves financially secure and relatively indispensable in the short term and long term?
I have trouble making female friends. I feel very awkward and self-conscious around them. I can never be fully myself and it’s exhausting
Any insight?
I started to wonder how do you, as an INTP male, find that your attitude and view towards women differ?
Tell me
Edit: I meant your view differing from the general none-INTP population’s view of women. It seems as I expected you tend to view people individually rather than having some prejudice or bias?
I am a very sensitive person. And I can’t tolerate people being strategic with me. I have not found anyone who has 100% best intentions of me. They are all self-serving.
I genuinely have come to believe that INTPs have the capacity to have the deepest most intense emotions and very pure ones out of every type.
It’s just that INTPs just don’t act on their emotions or rely on them to make decisions but absolutely can and do feel it deeply if they let it.
I’ve always gotten along well with ESFPs. They are fun to hangout with and open to new experiences. I never dated any of them however a few esfps have shown interest in me, sometimes immediately just by observing the vibe of me in like a millisecond then they tried to impress me and it’s looks cringy and endearing at the same time.
What’s your experience with dating them? Tell me something that might be interesting to know
I originally asked in the esfp sub but didn’t get any useful replies. This is not about dating
There is an esfp guy, i think he is 18/19. I am a woman around 6 years older than him.
I met him while traveling and we spent a short time together just being silly and I believe he enjoyed spending time with me. I don’t know him very much. I see him as my lil brother while i think he sees me as his peer. I believe he somewhat values our friendship. When I left the country he asked me how I am and telling me I am a good person snd wished me luck. Reacted positively to my stories. After a few weeks
I messaged him to ask how he’s doing. He asks me when i will visit again. It was early morning and he said he hadn’t slept so I said what were you doing all night and he replied with something vulgar/crude (I recognize that as a joke) Then I say “what the hell does that mean” and he said “which one, do you not know how to use the reply bottom” I interpreted that as condescending and rude. So I said I don’t appreciate the kind of language he is using with me and to have some respect.
He asks what language, I tell him that. Then he says I am too sensitive. Which I don’t accept as a reply to a boundary.
So I said “I don’t care what you think that is my boundary”
Then I realized that sounded harsher than necessary and said “that sounded harsher that i meant, I don’t think you meant bad, just letting you know I’m not comfortable with it so keep that in mind in the future”
I realized that the way I responded was totally unnecessary and i could have addressed it in more lowkey gentle way.
He didn’t reply and I kind of think that ruined the peer type dynamic of us he pictured in his head or made him uncomfortable. I still think that he shouldn’t have responded with “you’re too sensitive”.
And I do truly believe he didn’t mean bad and he thought using these slangs was cool. He is an esfp that I can tell care about how he is perceived and tries to look cool especially for the metrics of his own age group.
What do you think? Was I too harsh? Should I talk to him about it and apologize for sounding harsh while maintaining the boundary or leave it as it is?
So there is a very young esfp (18/19) esfp. I am a bit older and i believe he saw me as a peer and someone he kinda valued the connection with even though i don’t know him much.
So I open a conversation and he replies to one of my messages with a crude message (that I now think was probably normal for his peers). I know it is possible he might have thought he was being cool by using these slangs. And he also used a sentence with condescending tone. But I reacted like he “should not use that language with me and have respect” then he says I am too sensitive. I reply harshly that I don’t care what he thinks and that is my boundary. He doesn’t reply and also I realize that I was way too harsh , so I said I don’t think you meant bad , I’m just letting you know I’m not comfortable with that. So keep it in mind in the future. He still doesn’t reply. I think he might have felt embarrassed. Or maybe not.
But right now I am thinking that my reaction was unnecessary he was trying to come off cool and in tune with current slangs and I could probably address that in a more “cool peer like way”. But I was Still uncomfortable with the language nonetheless.
What do you think about this?
Over the years I have encountered 5 INFJ males. I am a type of intp that is genuinely nice and have found my accepting nonjudgemental attitude and personality gets all the infjs I meet to warm up and be comfortable to the point they get way too comfortable and I have to cut them off. It’s to the point they get extremely cocky and entitled to you which gives me the biggest ick and If I don’t cut them off i will need to enforce strong boundaries and they respond poorly with entitlement and some even they respond like how a narcissist would! Acting like they are entitled to your attention.
All it takes is to talk to them for 5 minutes and they already decided you are the one for them and they get absolutely unhinged in perusing it. Meanwhile all I did was just how I would talk with everybody.
They have extreme self-esteem issues and are insecure, but if you are nice to them, they don’t just be like wow what a nice non-judgmental person, they will be like “wow finally this person gets how awesome I am, i want them” they have covert narcissistic traits. Omg so cocky and gives me the ickkkkkk.
And guess what, they end up obsessing over you. They are judgmental AF too. They want to figure you out without actually putting the due diligence to get accurate information. And because their Ni is so impatient and sloppy, they take any surface level cue and attach meaning they think is accurate to it and convince themselves they have already figured you or your patterns out better than even yourself. Ni is literally the most unreliable delusional function on the planet especially when it’s paired with Ti child (Te trickster) At least INTJs have Te to help them not to reach this level of delusional that infjs are capable of!
They try to get you to like them by trying to mirror you and of course they are not successful but they believe they are correct.
meanwhile they just see some superficial thing on the surface and believe they have understood the underlying psychology, but they are so wrong and all they ended up doing is just give me the ick. meanwhile whatever they do and all their fake niceness to get to their Ni vision of having you (and having you the way they prefer it) is just sooo painfully obvious to me.
never once I felt like I wanted to maintain even a friendship with them. ICK. Omg
I don’t have this problem with other types!
Moving forward if I know someone is an infj i will not even waste 5 minutes with them. please do not try to change my mind.
I could probably explain why the infj gives me the biggest ick on the planet better and with more details but I feel just ICK.
No other type has given me this big of an ICK!!!!
Could you please provide any other information you would like to share about your relationship?
Such as:
What initially attracted you to each other?
How old are you, and how old were you two when you met?
Who proposed to turn it into a committed relationship?
How did you meet and who approached first?
What do you appreciate about each other?
What are the main causes of conflict?
**Helped rewrite it better with the help of ai because I don’t have time to do it myself
. I’m an INTP, and never in my life have I met an ESFP who really, really** **tried to hurt someone, like actually went out of their way to cause harm. I’ve seen other types intentionally act cruelly, try to get back at someone, backstab them, or deliberately do something because they knew it would hurt.
But with ESFPs, the worst I’ve personally seen is maybe some sprinkle of selfishness, envy, or impulsivity. They might do something thoughtless or get caught up in their own feelings and wants, sure, but I’ve never really seen that translate into actual malicious behavior or backstabbing.
However, what I have seen from them is behavior like openly expressing themselves or acting on what they believed was right and justified, without putting that much thought into how it was going to affect the other person. So they could definitely end up hurting someone, sometimes quite badly, but the intention behind it didn’t seem to be to hurt them. It was more like, “This is how I feel, this is what I believe is right, this is what I deserve, so I’m going to act on it,”** **without fully thinking through the consequences for the other person.
That’s the distinction I keep noticing. There was never that underlying intention of, “I know this is going to hurt you, and that’s exactly why I’m doing it.” That kind of calculated malice is what I’ve just never personally seen from an ESFP.
I have reached a conclusion that XNFX people (ENFJ, INFJ, INFP, ENFP) have the most capacity to be toxic. Sure they can be very good but it’s also very easy for them to become toxic.
I am curious: have you ever stolen money or things from someone? Have you had an experience where another ESFJ stolen money from you?
If you have observed someone who stolen money from you or someone, what was their type?
I know an ENTJ and INFP who stole things and money and morally justified doing it.
I wonder if Fi users are more likely to steal?
Do you find out later that you have underestimated how much of an effect what you do or say has on someone’s feelings? Or even underestimating how much they feel when you reject them?
Everybody thinks if you have Fi that means you’re a gentle nice person but the Fi can be corrupt and justify bad behavior for an ESFP and ENFP. They can commit a crime (worse case) and take advantage of people and feel absolutely justified while doing it.
So, Have you ever met an ESFP or ENFP with corrupt Fi values? What did it look like?
I don’t understand how some INTJs are so good at drawing good loyal and beneficial friends and building a support network around them with their Fe blind? I’ve never seen an INTP to be able to this.
Could the pain be adrenal? This happening even when not fasting but being low carb?
Do you find yourself getting insecure around Ti doms? How does it influence your behavior?