r/ESFP

Anyone feeling like they have lost their personality and lost the version of themselves that existed because of their past mistakes and now they are just existing like a robot with no purpose no desire to do anything .

I would like to hear about your personal experiences with this phenomenon of valuing entertainment over substance, and whether you agree or disagree with Socrates that our ultimate human goal should be the pursuit of Wisdom and *why?*

Do you truly believe we can make things better and that at any age people can still be taught to care?

For me I think that *ideally* we should be trying to figure out how to imbue our human experience with meaning and focus on taking care of each other and the world we share with other people and all living creatures, but know that it is an extremely tall order, and I don’t believe that we can do that *without introspection, deep thought, wisdom, and a willingness to ask questions.*

So I think that, at least to an extent, Socrates was correct to value wisdom above all else because I don’t think people are capable of making good decisions without wisdom, perspective, a healthy dose of humility, and an abundance of genuine curiosity about the world around us and how it fundamentally works!

But what do you think?

Do you truly believe we actually have the capability to put things right and teach people how to sit with uncomfortable questions again?

Or are we simply doomed to a painfully slow decline, and an eventual inevitable extinction because not enough people will mentally and emotionally evolve quickly enough?

What are your thoughts / feelings / beliefs / experiences / whatever the hell you can think up?

Happy discussing my home-skillets!

I am an ENFP, and my best friend who i was practically raised with, is an ESFP. we are great friends but we are so different yet alike at the same time.

One thing i've noticed and am curious about, is how Se really works. i genuinely can't imagine having Se, and haven't really understood its description until i made some of my friends take a cognitive function test and sort of analyzed our differences

i was under the impression that Se would make you more aware of your surroundings and yourself, but i think the "yourself" part is actually Si.

besides my ESFP friend, we also share a friend who is an ESTP, and both of them share a trait, which i think is Se presenting itself.

they literally do not know what they are saying sometimes. and i don't mean this in a rude way at all, this is a direct quote from both of them, SEPARATELY. neither one of them knew the other had said this. i swear they share a brain sometimes.

what i'm getting at i guess, is that i was under the assumption that an ESxP type would be more aware of themselves, but im assuming now that it's the opposite?

as an Ne user, im thinking all the time. I think through what i say especially. BUT i dont always think through my physical actions.

i was very clumsy as a kid, and not in touch with my surroundings. i would regularly almost walk into the road as a child. not a small child, like 7 😭 where as my ESFP friend growing up, hated getting dirty, hated the mud, hated loud noises, where i was honestly happiest when that was my environment. i'm wondering if because of my lack of Se, it made me seek out sensory experiences. and because of my friends prominent Se, he didn't enjoy it as much because he was more aware it.

it's so interesting to me how these functions work!! do you guys agree that this is accurate to the Se/Ne differences? any Se users relate/ not relate to my friends? i'm very curious!!!

Hey people! I was looking around both the r/intj and this r/ESFP to try and see what were people's take in a relationship between these two types, be it friendship or something romantic, and I gotta say I was somewhat surprised.

My best friend is an ESFP and we get along together very well, and even knowing beforehand that this was probably an exception—after all, both types are completely opposite of each other—, I was surprised to see how much both types see each other negatively, especially how INTJs apparently see themselves as superior to ESFPs.

I recognize my friend's qualities fully and I can very well understand that he excels a lot in places where I can basically only transit through if he's with me, just like he needs and actively asks for my help for uni stuff. Overall we have a really great friendship, and it's very useful to be around someone that's the complete opposite of yourself, as you're basically around a whole different world all the time and it kinda exposes you to a lot of stuff you wouldn't experience otherwise.

So, my question: why do you think both types tend to see each other in such negative fashion?

From my side, I can say I don't understand how (true) INTJs can judge another type and call themselves rational and pragmatic at the same time. For me, long-term goals and excellence are a priority, but I'm not an idiot and I know each type has its own strengths and whatever one prioritizes is just what they think in the end and what's a priority to them might not be to someone else.

I've been recently encountered with my junior who's esfp...thing is always smiling..keeping the scene fun...if we tell any work...she won't do...tell lame excuses to support her ignoring...what's problem with u guys..!?

(Yes I used AI to clarify my thoughts and rewrite the text so it ESFP friendly)

I love my dad. He’s super organized, always down to help, and honestly pretty open-minded.

But the older I get, the more we end up accidentally stepping on each other's toes.

It’s weird because I have a couple of close ESFP friends (both guy and girl) and we get along great. I think it's because deep down, we both value family and love trying new things.

But with my dad, the way we try to get things done completely clashes.

Here is where the friction usually happens:

**1. The Chores Dynamic**
My dad will drop a massive list of chores on me and expects me to just jump on it.

If I push back, he calls me ungrateful. I absolutely hate chores—not because I'm lazy, but because I hate last-minute demands.

Plus, unless it's sports, mundane physical tasks drain me.

He’s gotten a bit better and gives me a 24-hour heads-up now, which helps.

Honestly, 90% of the time I just bite my tongue and do it to keep the peace.

He’s 65, and I want to be a good son and help him out.

But the catch is, he has *no clue* how much I actually despise doing these tasks, because bringing it up always opens a massive can of worms.

Because I don't complain, he completely misses the fact that me doing them *is* my way of compromising for him.

**2. Talking about "Systems" vs. Real People**

Whenever I try to talk about general patterns or use frameworks like MBTI to explain how people work, my dad gets super uncomfortable.

He constantly calls me out and says, "You can't just put people in boxes."

He absolutely hates generalities, like if I say "men tend to act like this, women tend to act like that."

To him, it feels restrictive; to me, as an autistic person, it’s my lifeline for navigating social stuff.

The ironic thing is, if I *don't* communicate exactly inline with what he expects—like if I miss a subtle shift in the social context—he immediately jumps in to correct me anyway.

For example, recently my sister (who has a 1-year-old) wanted to get back onto our family Spotify plan.

For context: a while ago, our Spotify family plan got canceled.

My mom asked if one of the spots could go to her boyfriend. I said okay, and I asked my sister to move over to Tidal—since she had already been asking the entire family to switch over to Tidal anyway.

But now, she wanted her old Spotify slot back. I called her out on it.

I told her it was hypocritical that she wanted back in just because she didn't want to do the work of moving her playlists back to another platform—and that playing the "I have a 1-year-old" card to get her way felt cheap.

Look, I know the way I framed it was blunt and probably uncalled for.

I'm human, I make mistakes.

But my dad couldn't help himself. He immediately jumped in to correct me, saying, *"Jasper, even though what you said is objectively true, you completely screwed up the communication because you aren't showing empathy or seeing it from her POV."*

He explicitly blamed me for this, completely unaware that these are literally my autism blind spots.

It drives me crazy because he hates when I put people in boxes, but the second I communicate naturally, he immediately boxes me in.

**3. Completely Different Communication Styles**

I'm naturally a high-energy, passionate talker.

I tend to interrupt when I get excited, love a good debate, and my talk-to-listen ratio is probably 70/30.

My friends and coworkers get it—they know it’s just my autistic/passionate brain at work and they like the energy.

But my dad gets visibly uncomfortable around me in group settings.

He will literally jump into my conversations to police how I'm talking.

I know he thinks he’s helping me out of love, but it honestly feels rude.

I try to not cut him off in 3/4 because I know he hates it, but he doesn't give me that same grace.

**The main issue:**

I’ve tried talking to him about this so many times, but nothing really sticks.

The only thing that *has* changed is my own mindset—I actively try to focus on his good traits instead of the annoying stuff.

He *knows* I am autistic and gifted (he’s even watched videos on it), but he constantly seems to forget it in the moment.

Because I mask and try to adapt my behavior around him, he expects me to just "read the room" and pick up on his subtle hints during conversations.

But my brain literally doesn't work that way.

When we're in groups, the masking slips because it's exhausting, and that's when we clash.

How do I actually get through to him in a way that clicks?

Anyone else dealt with this kind of communication gap?

So I was wondering what character from any show/book/series basicaly anything do you think is an ESFP.

When I was young it used to be when "guy talk" like sports came up.

Do not ask what that the title is

So my friend recently told me that she thinks that us ESFP's are very. Strong in love and very fiery when it comes to loving someone. And also very physicaly intimate.

So I came here to ask. What the heck.!? Is that true?