u/Ozymandis66

I'm wondering if this is an ESFP thing, or if it's just a "me" thing, but when I get rejected by those I want to emotionally connect with the most, I become upset/angry for not being taken seriously, and I get full of pride/resentment.

And my natural tendency is to burn bridges and walk away to take back control and move on.

If I encounter the person who rejected me in a social setting/hobby/club/activity where we run into each other, I ignore them, but act like the life or the party with everyone else to show they/them that I am well loved and liked by everyone else, and they missed out on me.

I know all this is unhealthy, but I wonder if this is common among ESFPs to act out in anger/pride vs typically confusion/sadness.

Ok, I will give you guts a couple freebies right off the bay.

I am EXXP. Definitely Extroverted, particularly around introverts, but extroverts as well. Can strike up conversations with others easily and can be playful and jokative.

I am messy, disorganized, and go-with-the-flow hence the P.

I love fashion and experimenting with fashion. My look can be all over the place from urban city style with Boston Scally flat caps, nice watches, chains, bracelets, and matching color schemes to more Western with leather cowboy hats, leather vests, etc, to more Heavy Metal/Rock n Roll look. Definitely all over the place.

I am definitely caring and extremely generous and have a soft spot for women as friends (I'm a straight Cisgender heterosexual male). I feel emotionally closest to women over guys, but I hang out with both men and women- I just feel I can be more "real" and "vulnerable" with women.

I have an intellectual inclination, and can talk about all kinds of things from religion to philosophy to history, to a number of subjects.

I am an explorer, and love traveling, trying out new cuisines, meeting new people, networking, etc.

In my closest friendships and in romantic relationships, I am very considerate, chill, understanding, generous, but I am also extremely blunt and call an ace an ace and a spade a spade. I have problem swearing like a sailor to make a point, and I focus on Freedom, Honor, and Morality above all else.

I despise control freaks, manipulators, abusers, Narcissists, and other toxic types, and if I encounter someone like that and they hurt me or someone I care about, I am already planning their exposure/humiliation/accountability with others.

I am fiery, confident, and a bit ego-centric, even though I care about others and show it in a tangible way.

I don't care about social hierarchies or "fitting in". I would rather be a peacock among swans than being just another swan in the pond.

What am I? 🤔😎

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So I am an extremely blunt ENFP male who has overdeveloped Tertiary Te, and my girlfriend is an INFJ.

In our relationship, I am extremely raw and visceral with my language, which involves a lot of profanity when I am angry or annoyed about something, but I never direct it towards her. Think of it as an extra "ummpff" or a mixture/blend of Pathos and Ethos style appeal to my thoughts.

She likes that I'm direct and blunt with her and she wants me to be as real and transparent as possible.

Is this a common INFJ thing- not being intimidated or turned away by deep transparency, bluntness, directness, or a willingness to be extremely vulnerable and "real".

I know some types can be scared off by this kind of behavior- like for example, a lot of INFPs can get weirded out or intimidated by someone who is too bold, too strong, and too direct or blunt right off the bat.

I'm talking about ENTJ/ESTJ/INTJ bluntness as in "let's get shit done", but more like calling an ace an ace and a spade a spade, and not being afraid to say exactly what is on your mind fearlessly, and not being afraid to be real/vulnerable/raw.

Because I feel like one of the few types who can really handle me or deal with directness or bluntness are INFJs. I wonder if it's because they appreciate bluntness and directness and have thick skin?

I mean the most obvious difference cognitive functions wise is the difference between the Domimant Functions of Se (Extroverted Sensing) vs. Ne (Extroverted Intuition). Focusing on the here and now vs abstracts, concepts, theories.

Both types share the same Auxiliary and Tertiary functions Fi-Te. So a wash there telling them apart.

Inferior functions are negligible. Ni vs Si- Seeing into the future vs learning from the past?

So, based on my subjective understanding, and this is the conclusion I have drawn:

ENFPs tend to be a little more brainy, philosophical, and do their own thing and dance to the beat of their own drum, and don't care about fitting in with others, and are free spirits and explorers

ESFPs tend to be fun-loving, exciting, socially bubbly party animal types that focus on the here and now, and care about fitting in and being accepted by others in social hierachies.

I know this sounds like an oversimplification of the types, but do you think that sounds like a realistic summary of the differences?

So I am friends with an INFP whom I was on good terms with.

I got this INFP a really meaningful birthday gift when we hung out last and they loved it.

However, after that, communication with this person has come to a relative halt. I know this person started a new job, and has been studying for it, but I feel like even the most basic forms of communication has been put to the side by this person.

I have made a strong effort to connect with this person, and they are not putting any effort into the most basic levels of communication.

I am an ENFP, and in my hurt and anger, I want to give them time to try and contact me, and if it doesn't happen in a reasonable time frame, to contact them and tell them our friendship is over.

However, I believe doing that may be too harsh for someone who hasn't directly hurt me with their actions, but indirectly has hurt my feelings and dissapointed me.

Even though it is not my style, and I wanted people to be held accountable for their actions or lack of actions, I also considered just cutting my losses, and walking away.

What advice/opinions do you guys have on this matter?

Thanks!

What would you call an individual who, when rejected when they try to vulnerable with others, gets angry and insulted, and uses pride as a defense mechanism to avoid the pain of rejection, and avoids seeking intimacy again until the cycle repeats itself.

And no- this behavior isn't narcissistic or related to NPD. No grandiousity, no delusions of self-importance, no insistence on special treatment or associating with people they think are on their level.

And behaviorally, this pattern doesn't nesscarily fit in with Avoidant-Dissmisive Attachment Style 100%.

So how would define this behavioral pattern?

Thanks!

I know this is a very subjective question, and not all INFPs are the same, and while the way an INFP processes things are similar, no MBTI type is a "cookie cutter" personality.

My best guess, since INFPs lead off with Fi as their Dominant Function, is to show appreciation and thank them for their emotional insights or being vulnerable about how they feel with you. I already do this with a couple INFP friends.

What other suggestions do you have? As an ENFP with strong Ne, I am very good at gift-giving, and know how to give wonderful meaningful presents for my friends.

What's up my people of Reddit?

I am a fun-loving American who is 50% Party Animal, 50% Intellectual.

I love going to karaoke bars, music raves, parties, themed festivals, and concerts.

I love experimenting with fashion, love traveling and documenting my travels with photography and photo albums, collect souvenir) patches from wherever I visit. And I collect art from around the world.

My more intellectual side loves history (HUGE history buff), loves going to museums, learning different phrases and different greetings from different countries and cultures, loves learning about Psychology, Philosophy, History, Religion, the Paranormal and many, many other topics.

I'm definitely not a one trick pony 😎 If I sound like your cup of tea- feel free to DM. Gender, Age, Orientation- doesn't matter to me. Just want to talk to like minded individuals who can stimulate my mind.

By the way- ENFP 7w8 if you are familiar with MBTI/Enneagram. We're a fun bunch!

I do ✋️ I know our type is the Campaigner and that our Auxiliary-Tertiary combo (Fi-Te) can cause us to act out in a physical, tangible way, due to us wanting to be congruent with our core values/beliefs.

I am ENFP who is really easy to get along with. I don't stir the shit pot, I don't start drama, and all I want is fun, happiness, and joy, and for people to get along. I make friends easily, and I'm chill.

But cross me, or act toxic towards me for no reason, because like I said, I don't stir the shit pot or cause trouble- I am already planning your exposure to others so you can be held accountable for your actions.

What I do is if someone is toxic to me or others, I screenshot any ugly/nasty texts, FB messages, or Instagram messages they send me. Since I am always out and about and on the move, and do not continue to hang around toxic people, it doesn't give them much of an opportunity to lash out at me in person.

I give the toxic person to back down and leave me alone. However, if they don't, I expose them with evidence/proof to those I think may potentially be negatively affected by said toxic person.

I despise bullies, and look to take them down and set "traps" for them to fall into.

Does anyone other ENFP relate to this? I know the conventional approach that most people take when dealing with toxicity is to get as far away from it as possible.

I don't. Whether a toxic person learns or not, it just and fair for them to be held accountable for their actions. Otherwise they will continue to hurt others, and no one will stand up to them.

Bullies may continue to be bullies, even if they get a bloody nose from someone, but a bloody nose is what they deserve for hurting other people who have done nothing to them.

I also have the tism, very high functioning tism, so you can factor that into the equation too.

Our offense is not horrible, but not great. .239 BA.

252 RBIs. We are doing well with home runs though, at 77 (Phillies are at 78, the Cubs are at 72, the Cardinals at 66, and the Brewers at 44).

However, as any Reds fan knows, the bullpen is KILLING us. Hunter Greene is out and his return is unknown. Chase Burns is awesome, and is carrying the Reds pitching on his shoulders. Lodolo and Abbot are a mixed bag and are inconsistent. Paddack sucks. Lowder sucks.

And not to mention a string of crappy relievers, with exception to Sam Moll, Brock Burke, and Tejay Antone. And most of them are on the IL now

So even though we don't have any say in the matter, and it is all management and head office, what do you think the Reds organization should do?

What team is going to take our crappy relief pitchers? Maybe trade some lesser bats for better starting or relief pitchers?

What do you think the solution is?

I've been told on this thread before to never pair off a Boston Scally with a chain or sunglasses.

I think a nice watch would be a good start- one that kind of matches with the hat.

Any other suggestions or recommendations? Thanks!