r/ENFP

I just realized this a couple days ago that I get super excited about sci-fi ideas, strange conspiracy theories, and supernatural stuff!

Part of me is half joking when I discuss the possibility of time travel and extraterrestrial life, especially with science-y people. But then there’s a part of me that’s super excited about these things actually existing, and desperately wishes someone out there is travelling through time and that there e.t. living among us- I see no reason to not believe the pleidian theory. Even flying cars, I know those actually exist but don’t just look the way we had pictured them decades ago.
I’m sure I give off “mad scientist” while talking about this to people, with 99.999% mad and 0.001% scientist.
Part of me feels it’s great to be excited about possibilities. Someone once got excited about seeing people on a piece of glass (FaceTime) and hearing voices through a piece of metal (phone). If they had been called crazy or sent to an exorcism, I wouldn’t even be posting this!

And then there’s the supernatural stuff! Vampires, faeries, and werewolves. Now I was a twihard more than a decade ago, and now find it cringe but still like it. But I really get excited about that stuff too, more than I care to admit. And I don’t discuss the supernatural stuff with everyone, not everyone gets it/believes in it.

But I do wanna know, is getting excited about all this just me or an ENFP thing in general?

Edit: when I say sci-fi, I don’t really mean actual works of fiction, but rather the ideas sci-fi is usually based on, like extraterrestrial life and time travel. I get excited at the possibility of these things actually existing in the world we live in, around us

Hi ENFPs, there’s this ENFP coworker (31F) I’ve (33M) gotten close to over time.

We used to interact alot more openly in group settings with everyone else around in the past. But overtime it naturally shifted in which we barely even interact much during group settings anymore. But somehow always end up drifting back into our own 1 to 1 spaces/conversations away from everyone else instead.

We also hang out quite abit after work. None of this was ever really discussed or intentional, it just slowly.. became the norm?

It also seemed to me that regardless of whatever phase/state she is in.. excited, stressed, tired, bored. She somehow still naturally gravitates back towards me very consistently.

I think a big part of it is that around her, I would make space for her if she asks for my time. I listen, try to understand her properly, and usually just let her be herself without judgement. She told me herself that talking to me feels different than with most people.

I feel like this connection itself honestly doesn’t feel like it was built on obvious flirting or chasing. It feels more like over time we somehow just became very emotionally familiar with each other to the point where we naturally keep returning to each other’s space without even thinking much about it anymore.

Around me she also feels noticeably calmer and softer compared to her usual social energy.

I would think that to both of us, the whole thing still feels subtle and natural. But people around us have started telling me that the both of us are actually becoming fairly "obvious" already.

So I’m curious from an ENFP perspective.. when you consistently keep one specific person this close in such a quiet and unspoken way over a long period of time, what’s usually going on internally for you?

Hi I’m Female(ENFP)25

And I feel very lonely in this topic, I’ve talked about this to my closest people and I feel like no one really understands.

I’m often called fun, interesting, talented, smart and special at first, but passing the time I always end up being mistreated or judged.

I always try to mask a bit of my personality because every time I felt safe to be myself I was hurt, played or even ab*sed.

I’ve developed this feeling that I’ll always be judged for who I am, either being too much but not enough at the same time… I can be seen as “amazing” but not like a individual with feelings… am I some kind of professional clown made to entertain and be left out or judged when it starts getting “too much”.

Honestly I’m dating a INFP for 7 months and I’m just now kinda hopeful I found someone as “wierd” as me…

I really want to meet someone who really understands this.
Do you relate to this?
What’s your experience with trauma?

INTJ here.

Recently met an ENFP girl and honestly she completely caught me off guard.

She’s the kind of person who can walk into a room and instantly make everything feel lighter. Super expressive, spontaneous, emotionally open… basically the complete opposite of me 😅

The weird thing is that around her, I feel more relaxed and more “myself” than I usually do around people.

But as an INTJ, I genuinely have no idea how to approach someone like this romantically.

Part of me wants to move carefully and not come on too strong. Another part of me worries that if I move too slowly, she’ll just lose interest and disappear into the universe somewhere 😂

So I’m curious from ENFP perspectives:

What actually makes you emotionally interested in someone?

And when someone likes you, what kind of approach feels natural and attractive instead of forced?

Hey guys as an enfp if you block someone on ig or mute their activity or story on social media while following them, what goes on your mind and what made you do it. Especially if you were talking with the intentions of dating. I met an enfp , we had a talking stage where everything went smooth and fun but we stopped talking for a bit and now it’s radio silence. I think this person muted my stories. But idk what went wrong we were chill, but from my end I often showed hesitation in terms of meeting or seeing where the relationship goes, so maybe it pissed them off?

I’m a 34-year-old ENTP man, and I briefly dated a 30-year-old ENFP woman for about 6 weeks. When things ended, I told her I didn’t see a relationship with her, although looking back, I think there may have been some misunderstanding around how we left things, and I now regret how it ended.

About 6 weeks after we stopped seeing each other, she reached out to me again. We ended up texting for about two days, and the conversation became heavily flirtatious. She also suggested that we should see each other again, which made me realize I’m actually still interested in her.

The complication is that when she reached out, I had literally just boarded a flight for a 4–5 week trip in the Middle East, so I told her I was leaving for vacation. Since that last exchange, it’s now been 6 days with no contact, but I also haven’t texted her.

Now I’m overthinking the situation. I noticed her WhatsApp profile photo disappeared, which made me wonder whether she deleted my contact or lost interest. At the same time, she was the one who initiated contact after 6 weeks, so part of me thinks if she wanted to keep talking, she could text me again. But another part of me wonders whether, since she already made the first move, she may now be expecting me to show initiative.

Because I’m still away for another 4 weeks, I’m unsure what’s considered normal here. If someone is genuinely interested in reconnecting with a potential match, is it expected that they stay in touch even while traveling, or is it perfectly normal for communication to pause until they’re back? What is your opinion as an ENFP?

I (22M ENFP) feel a bit stuck. There is a great 20 Y/O INFP girl who I've known her family forever now and have pretty much become the son they didn't have - been told I'm always welcome and even if I needed to, could stay/live with them. And I do love our conversations - literally any time me and her sat to watch a movie late at night we'd forget the movie was even going on and get so involved and entertained by our own conversations that the movie seemed uninteresting in comparison - losing track of time and ending up staying up until like 2-4 AM just talking, laughing, having an overall great time. I could see an amazing future. And now we are talking every day. Problem is I am about 3 hours away from where they live now (I moved) and she is going to college - 6 hours away from where she lives and 7 away from where I live. And it will be that way for at least 4 years... And a long distance relationship that far away for that long, I don't want to be selfish and try when she is just starting her college career and could meet someone amazing right next to her that they could have a normal great relationship right there with her.

Now there is another girl (20 INFJ), she seems pretty cool. We have good convos whenever we do talk at church. And I get along great with family. We have intuitive type convos (same as with INFP girl, just less all over the place lol) and playful and laughter and such and there are hints here and there we may like each other. But I have far less history with her, she is an hour and a half away at college (but I go to her church so there is some common thread there - but won't see her most of the summer this summer or school year as she doesn't come home much during school.) We've talked here and there - her doing subtle things like when I was asking her to teach me some french words, she taught me "how are you", "thank you", "good", started talking about how the french word for "good" was similar to the spanish word and she started teaching me a couple of french words that started with "b" - the last one being "Beau" - which means handsome. Kinda froze, mind blank, looked up at the ceiling and acted like I was trying to learn the french word by saying it a couple times and moved on - didn't really "flirt" back or anything - mainly because my mind went blank lol. So not too sure if she was flirting either or just teaching french words, idk. (If there happens to be any INFJs reading and theyd like to give their opinion on if it may or may not be flirting - would definitely appreciate lol) I do like her and could see things going good or even great, but I just don't have as much history or actual time with her - as we have only had time after church to talk and not actually real long deep convos or anything like that. But we were the last ones in church talking and talked for probably like an hour in that one instance lol.

But anyways just feel a little stuck - I dont want to try to pursue anything with INFJ girl and be talking to the INFP girl every day - I dont want to do INFP girl (or the INFJ girl for that matter) that way. She doesn't deserve that and is genuinely a great beautiful human being. But I also don't want to get into something with the INFP girl that ends up just being bad for her or me and ends up taking away her possibilities of finding someone that can be good for her close to her with a normal non LDR relationship - but I could see it ending up great for us because we just get each other. But 4 years 7 hours away is a long time and a long distance. Idk. What should I do?

So I have been always felt very intuitive towards singing since I was a kid and i used to watch these shows like The Voice and all the other singing related shows or just exploring new artists all the time and it lit my eyes up. I was pursuing tennis as a kid, as it was my father’s dream and I was always too scared to say it to him out loud about anything, I feared him like crazy and then I joined my family business post college, worked and always regretted every single day of it. Then working for 8 years, half assedl, I convinced my parents to sell the business for the sake of my happiness and lead my own life. I said i will do an IT Job and they supported me. Inbetween these 8 years, I joined music classes on and off, hiding from my parents. It felt like my father’s fear played a big role in me confessing that I enjoy singing. I was never really true good, but I was improving quickly and I wasn’t half bad. Just better to a normal ear, nothing too special. But I always have had this artistic streak in me, even when consuming art, it shows. Then I moved to another city saying i will be pursuing it job and started pursuing music. I couldn’t handle the stress and money became a problem as well. I still do not have the courage to tell my father that music is what truly makes me happy and feel alive. What sane parents would let you do this. If I go do a job, then my 8-12 hours would go doing that and when will I work on music? I don’t know what to do anymore, plus if i go live my life, dropping my parents expectations, then wouldn’t the society gossip and make them feel how their son is a disappointment and let them down. It will be such a difficult situation for them. I cannot imagine putting them in such a situation. I don’t know what to do anymore.

​

Does anyone else feel like people always want to control who you are?

The closer I get to people, the more it feels like they stop seeing me as a person and start seeing me as a version of me they want. And because I’m naturally nice and understanding, people slowly start taking me for granted without even realizing it.

It’s like everyone wants something from me. My energy, my time, my attention, emotional support, validation… something. And after a while I just shut down.

I keep thinking: why can’t I just *be* around you? Why do you need me to act a certain way to make you comfortable? Why does it feel like I have to perform some ideal version of myself for people to stay?

And it’s not even one person. It’s family, friends, relationships… eventually it starts feeling like every connection turns into this weird pressure where I lose myself trying to keep everyone happy.

So then I isolate. I disappear for a while. Try to start over. Meet new people. Have new experiences. But the same pattern keeps happening and my relationships never really last because eventually I get exhausted and emotionally detach.

At this point I genuinely can’t tell if I’m surrounded by the wrong people or if I’m just too nice and don’t know how to set boundaries before resentment builds up.

Can anyone else relate to this?

Or is this more of a male ENFP thing?

I mean like saying outlandish shit just to provoke a reaction or get a rise out of others (primarily Fe users)

Sometimes when I'm bored and looking for novelty I purposely break social or cultural norms (within legal limits) if I find it to be dumb or just to test how people will react and see what their values are.

I've toned down now as I aged and realized that it costs me good standing in my social circles, but the impulse is still there lol

She hates the fact that I’m a “T”. She says she could hear words of affection all day long and it wouldn’t be enough while my reaction to that is “I can probably squeeze out 5 in a day.”

I love her, but it’s also incredibly frustrating how I am not able to meet her love language needs (and hearing about it). When I make an effort these days I guess it comes off as strictly effort, plus the fact that she doesn’t want to get her hopes up because she’ll be eventually disappointed.

I know I’m in the ENFP den here which is the perfect place for opinions on this matter. I can’t help but be me, but I want to be a good husband. I feel like her essence is almost the total opposite of me. Yet I also know we compliment each others shortcomings. I am quite easily pleased emotionally while she needs more to be satisfied, but it doesn’t register with me sometimes. I feel like a psychopath at times.

I absolutely love how my brain works other than one thing. I cannot stop it from being itself. Like most ENFPs, I have a consequentially high social iq.

What’s the consequence?

Baggage. Baggage that I subconsciously load and have the inability to unload. I perceive interactions between others or with myself and fall into them mentally for the rest of the day.

My day is over. Everything exists behind the smog of my attachment to this small moment that I perceived injustice, incongruence, or above all else misunderstanding.

I want to be able to move on yet I’m he’d back by my raw nature. It’s not drama or Tea. It’s all inside, just me quarreling with me.

I wanted to know if y’all could relate or share advice on how to water down the density of these moments.

Thanks for reading if you did. Being understood is priceless and always appreciated.
♥️

I’ve been learning mbti since covid and I STILL cannot settle on my MBTI type. I do thoroughly understand the cognitive functions, but I keep switching between ENFP and ENTP. The thing is, I think it’s because I’ve grown up without many kind people by my side, so i was honestly not the nicest or kindest as a kid.

I was really bossy and I’d always throw fits for things I wanted. A bug thing for me is that I wasn’t really emotional as a kid, but getting older I started caring a lot more for people, and also what they think of me. I also, naturally, have always been oriented towards making the most beneficial/best choice, and I’ve always pushed myself academically (and done okay, i always would lush myself too much) and I usually don’t stop at things because they upset me, i’ll just do it anyways for the benefit or the plot. These types of things make me think that ENTP tends to make more sense.

However, when it comes to morals, i’m not the nicest or most just person out there, but i do have pretty strong standards for myself and others about beibg honest, being true to yourself, etc. and many times I do value these things a lot too! And I tend to like, socially, not say what I really think sometimes and then feel embarrassed of myself afterwards.

So I don’t know if I’m ENTP or ENFP. ENTP sounds too cold, ENFP sounds too emotional and too kind 😭 (i’m also 21 which i think makes it difficult?)

You may have seen my post earlier today (or during the night, depending on your time zone) or maybe not.

It seems that the main MBTI sub has decided to implement moderation rules that no longer allow objective discussions about MBTI. They seem too afraid of offending certain types and want to maintain a “feel-good” community, even though MBTI is supposed to be a tool for understanding not only our strengths, but also our weaknesses.

It should be possible to criticize a type or share a negative experience with one. That doesn’t make it a “bad” type it’s simply feedback or an analysis that may be hard to hear. These are perspectives that should be considered, discussed, and, if necessary, challenged. But that no longer seems possible on the current sub.

On top of this overly protective moderation style, there also seems to be a refusal to accept criticism or self-reflection from the moderation team itself. Because of that, I’m concerned that the main MBTI sub is becoming more of an echo chamber than an open space for intelligent discussion about MBTI.

That’s where my decision to create a new sub comes in. Here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/freeMBTI/s/VfSMPbcH8V

Working class, POC, LGBT etc? Have you had any difficult experiences?

It's possible I became an extrovert after I was engaged and it ended. I am more likely to look for friends and be around other people now. I don't enjoy being alone as much.

So idk if y'all ENFPs relate but ever since 2023 I've been working on my job which is a vocational program for people with disabilities where there's a lot of people to talk to after being isolated from covid it was like a buffet of varieties of people to talk to and I could express my social butterfly. Well I had a group of 3 people where we were like peas on a pod. Unfortunately one of my friend backstabbed me not once but twice and I went down a spiraling of being afraid of being lonely and grief. That's when the insecurities or my "whole" crazy self I previously tried to reserve came out fully, it was like I didn't care who I'm cool with or not I was being my full crazy self. For awhile I liked being that crazy high energy guy but eventually as of recent it feels like a chore and I noticed that I don't have alot of support from those I care about and I slowly noticed how out of place I felt where I feel very lonely. Like I regret being highly energetic instead of being "mature". But also on another instance when I feel lonely I want to make meaningful relationships but also when I have meaningful relationships I feel "too cool" to have more people to talk to. Like if I don't have anybody to talk to I become genuine but when I do have someone to talk to I become shallow. Idk if that makes sense and also how do I deal with this