24M Intp-t engaged to 22F Enfp, looking for any advice or personal experience for guidance.
We’ve been together since 2020. I absolutely love her to death but we still get into crazy arguments more than I’d like to. It usually starts by someone’s feelings getting hurt and saying something rude or short.
Our love language is affirmation, yet we didn’t get any as a kid so struggle to be there for the other in these moments. In turn, the offender starts to say things to get under the others skin as if to see a reaction or hear how much they care. It turns into this cycle of who hurt who first and no one being the bigger person. Then we both retreat to stubborn corners feeling hurt and confused with no resolution. We always apologize and move on but it feels like there’s creeping resentments from the many moments like this.
I know this may be confusing but what I’m looking for is someone’s experience in situations like these or a way I can be there for her in the moment so it doesn’t continue. It’s been happening since day one, and it’s something that I need to work on heavily as I don’t want it to continue. Please ask any questions, lacking direction on how to elaborate further. For reference we’re both Cancers if that matters to anyone.