Women - if you have ever approached a man who caught your eye in public or DMed on social media first, how successful were you and what was the experience?
Men - if you have been approached first, how did you feel about it?
(Excluding dating app experiences)
Hello ENFPs!
Just curious to find out who we match with best for long term, healthy relationships?
I have 3 close friends who are INFJ, ESTP and ENFJ.
I have recently dated INTP, ESTP, ENTJ, ISFJ and none of them have worked out.
Id love to know what MBTI your partner is and what are the good/bad sides to your match :)
I 27F have been single for nearly 5 years now and have been on countless dates. I am asking this as someone who is looking for something serious with a person who is right for me, Im not looking to play games but Im also not going to settle for someone who I dont think is right for me.
The one pattern that keeps emerging is that all the men I like, dont like me and all the men that like me, I dont like.
Its not a case of "oh this guy likes me so Im going to choose not to like him" its just that the less interest I show in them (due to compatibility issues mainly), the more they show in me so I then decide to let them down gently before they get in too deep.
But likewise, I have had guys show a lot of interest in me in the beginning and then when I start to show that I like them back, they start to lose interest. Its not in me to be nonchalant when it comes to dating, Im not the type to act crazy or obsessive but I will outwardly compliment them and say I like them and their company.
Is this something all men experience or is it just the ones who like the thrill of the chase and then once they know they "have me" just discard me?
When I look for a long term partner, I want us both to be as equally and openly into each other but it just seems impossible for that to happen.
So my question is, does a woman showing less interest make you want her more and does a woman showing more interest make you want her less?
Not sure if this is a me thing or an ENFP thing. I dont know any other ENFPs irl but everyone calls me weird for doing this.
When something really upsets me, I have to cry it out and be miserable until Im just not anymore. This can take anywhere between a few hours and a few days but once I hit a point of there not being any more emotion to get out of me, Im just over the situation.
I thought this was a pretty normal/healthy way to express my feelings but a lot of people disagree saying I just need to suck it up or pretend like Im okay but doing that just exhausts me into a depression and causes me to ruminate on the situation instead. I also get called "emotional" and "dramatic" a LOT for being like this.
Any other ENFPs manage their emotions this way?
I 27F have been single for nearly 5 years now after getting out of an abusive relationship. I have my own place, a steady job, a car, financially independent, a few very close friends and a good relationship with my family.
In those 5 years Id say Ive had at least 30 first dates, about half turned into a 2nd, 3rd etc and the other half didnt work out from the get go. Id say the ratio for me ending things with them and them ending things with me is 50/50. Ive dated older men, younger men, avoidant men, anxiously attached men, men who are my type, men who aren't my type, extroverted men, introverted men, you get the idea.
The one thing that is the same across all of these men is that its just not worked out with any of them. It seems that I tend to be the one to send a polite rejection message after 1/2 dates but for the men Ive had 5+ dates with, they seem to always be the one to end things with me.
Unfortunately its made me realise that there cant be something wrong with every man out there, I am the common denominator so it must be an issue I have. I have tried for a long time to work out what that issue is, Im not the prettiest girl out there but I know it cant be my looks because surely I wouldnt go on dates at all? Ive been to therapy a lot and worked on myself but dealt with some trauma along the way too. There must be something Im doing wrong because surely I would have had some luck by now? Clearly there is something off putting about me. It also doesnt help that literally every person in my life around me is in a long term relationship so Im completely alone in this journey.
Its got to the point now where I wonder if there's even any point in keeping on trying. It feels like a never ending game of "I really like this person - I wonder when they're going to let me down like everyone else does". Its slowly killing my confidence and honestly Im just exhausted of meeting new people and it not going anywhere when all I really want is a simple, safe kind of love.
Even though theres nothing I want more to be in a loving relationship, I refuse to lower my standards or settle for someone who I dont think is suitable for me - doing that is what landed me in an abusive relationship.
My question is, are my only options now either to settle for someone who isn't right for me or accept the fact that Ill probably never experience the one thing I really want in life and to live my life alone? If so, which is the better option?
Im currently seeing an INTP. Everything is great in person but its clear theyre not as big of a texter as me.
Ive noticed that after we hang out I wont hear from them for at least a day afterwards and they sometimes dont respond to me for hours or a day.
So I have a few questions:
Is there any correlation with texting speed and level of interest?
How do INTPs feel about double texting? Not in the "are you okay?" "why aren't you replying?" sense but if something happens or I see something that reminds me of them in the time theyre not replying and I want to tell them can I message them again or should I wait until they respond to my original message first?
Im an instant responder usually but when it comes to replying to them, if they take hours to reply does replying to them instantly stress them out and put pressure on them to reply again or do they appreciate it? Or is it better to match their texting speed?
Just trying to navigate this in a way that doesnt annoy them or push them away but also respecting their space if they need it?
I have been dating an INTP man for 2 months now and Im still unsure where I stand with him. We have been consistently seeing each other once a week since we started dating. In the beginning he was the one asking to see me and planning dates and hes paid for all but 1 date so far. In person everything is great and I feel really calm and secure around him and we have a really great time and good conversations. About a month ago I asked for exclusivity and he agreed to it - although Im not sure if he just agreed to be polite. However, when we are apart I feel like he doesnt like me at all. In the beginning it was fine but now I have to wait hours (Im talking up to 8 hours) for a reply every time we text and whenever we spend the night together I dont hear from him for at least 24 hours afterwards, even though I ask him to text me when he gets home safe he just doesnt. His texts are always long and thoughtful but they are never consistent. I know I have anxious attachment which is why the lack of communication and inconsistency bothers me but I refuse to message him more because I want to honour the fact that he might just want space and he'll come back when hes ready, which so far he always has done. The more anxious I feel, the more I am stepping up and initiating plans although he always agrees to them. He has told me I am the only girl he is talking to and that he wants to keep seeing me but part of me feels like he is still unsure about me. He hardly compliments me or talks about us and our relationship (still undefined) its always me that has to initiate these kinds of conversations because I like having the reassurance of knowing where I stand. I guess my question for all you fellow INTPs is whether he is genuinely into me, sees me as a long term partner and will eventually ask me to meet his friends/family and to be his girlfriend or if this is just a fling to him. Please tell me if I am overreacting, I like this guy a lot and dont want to end up sabotaging it just because Im too much in my own head.