r/INTPrelationshipLab

What's your opinions INTp females? Do you prefer ENTJ or INTJ?

As introvert i see introverted thinkers with (P) are good for us introverted visionary. ISTP female currently we are talking so it might works well with INTp female because their (Ne) need (Ni) guidance not (Te) Rules.

In Facebook INTp groups i saw majority of INTp female seems to love patner who admire their intelligence and put it to work as INTJ men can do, so would you rather choose INTJ? Or ENTJ to pull you out of your nest? Because both are leaders to you.

Am just curious before i commit to INTp or ISTP female.

Curious about other’s takes on this pairing. Yes, compatibility and relationship dynamics are very little to do with types, but given that preface, fire away with opinions and any potential advice on how to make conflicts go better or how each can better communicate for understanding

It feels like I already know the answer. Cut off their social media, delete their contact, just basically remove all ties with them.

But it feels tough, I already did this many times and it's always a painful decision to make.

It feels exhausting...

To give you context:

I am an INTP (5w4, M24) and I’ve fallen for my cousin (ISTP 5w4, F23). A couple of months ago, I moved to her country for my studies. Before this, we had only met once last year, and prior to that, we hadn't seen each other since we were kids (around 5–7 years old).

When I first arrived, she was surprisingly warm and caring in her own quiet way. She would approach me first, strike up conversations, and help me with small things.

Our Current Dynamic:

I visit her house about 2 to 3 times a month. When I'm there, she spends most of her time in her room. However, when she does come out, we usually watch movies together in comfortable silence, chit-chat, or walk her dog in the afternoon. Over time, she has opened up and shared a lot about herself. We have a ton in common, even if our minds reach conclusions through different paths.

During a late-night conversation, I asked her how close she was to her other cousins. She told me that I am the closest cousin she has. Naturally, this stirred up feelings and left me overanalyzing. Looking at her behavior, I constantly flip-flop between thinking she likes me and thinking she doesn't.

While there is a lot I appreciate about her, her distance and lack of communication are incredibly frustrating. As my feelings grow, I want to talk to her more, but it is becoming exhausting. Her responses are highly inconsistent—one moment she will explain something with incredible depth, and the next, she seems entirely shallow or detached.

Her emotional unavailability is what hurts the most. It feels impossible to approach her when I actually try, yet everything flows naturally when I stop putting in effort.

I don't think this situation is sustainable. I need to distance myself because I can't handle the hot-and-cold attitude anymore. (Honestly, as an INTP, I usually think I'm the emotionally distant one—it turns out getting a taste of my own medicine is brutal.)

Also both of us being first cousin doesn't seem like a deal breaker to me. Everyone's ancestors have married their cousin at some point in the lineage, I don't really see it as a taboo. The concern is more about the child, though the defect rate is 4-7% probably equal to the risk of having child when you are at the age beyond 30... well i digress

But again despite my view of what is taboo or what is not. I am basically trying to detach from her. So any advice on this is very welcome.

Or feel free to debate me on my view, we may stray from the purpose of this post but it would be fun I bet.

Hiii!, I've been seeing a guy (probably an INTP or INTJ) for a while now, but I haven't been able to have a smooth conversation with him. I know a few things about him, enough to guess his MBTI type.

I was drawn to him from the moment I met him, but I never knew how to approach him. He even offered to give me piano lessons at his house during the week. I went once, but I was so nervous I couldn't start a conversation.

I'm seeing him at a gathering in a few days, and I was thinking of talking to him. How do you think I should approach him? Any advice?

It's with a girl he met on a dating app 6 months ago. It wasn't a one-time call. It happened like 5-6 times. All initiated by him. Late at night.

As i roam online everywhere i realize that i have two inherent wives (INTJ & INTp)so i won't die single because of my ugly face.

It's lucky because no matter how good INTp male is , will still fail to get a wife unless Feelers adopt him out of his cuteness/healthy habits...You just don't know how lucky you're until you look around in other people realities.

So how much are INTp women here rating us INTJ male in love life? And what attract you to us mostly?

Hi everyone! Sorry if this will be a bit long. I'm an infj (17f), who's had a crush on an intp (17m) for a pretty long time. We started talking about a month ago, after I passed him a note through a friend - that's quite childish, I know, but I'm terribly shy and would never find the courage to approach someone in person. But he responded positively and after that everything was going really nice. We used to talk during breaks at school and sit with each other on the class we have together. And the relationship didn't feel one-sided at all, because often he was the one to initiate the conversations and seemed quite engaged in them, asked me questions and so on. I took it as a sign that maybe he could be a bit interested too, because he's also pretty shy and I don't see him talking to people very often. One of my friends also told me that he probably likes me, because it kind of shows from the way he behaves around me. On the last week of school I asked him if he'd like to meet on the first day of summer break and he said yes. But unfortunately I got sick later on and, I was really hoping I will get better until that day, but I didn't. I woke up feeling terrible and decided I should probably cancel the meeting, so I texted him, apologized and proposed to meet on Friday next week. I know I probably send the message way too late. But he responded right away and said we could meet then, just that he's not sure if he won't have other plans next week. So I asked him to confirm later, but after that I haven't heard from him at all. I even sent another message a few days later, to confirm if we're meeting or not, and I tried to make it as polite and casual as possible, but I didn't get a response either. I really really don't understand what is happening. I'm scared I did something wrong... Is it possible that someone's behavior could change so dramatically over just a week? Or maybe he was never interested at all... I know there might be quite a few reasons behind his disappearance, but the uncertainty makes me kind of stressed and I really don't know what to do. If he really just doesn't want to talk anymore I'd rather he tell me straight up about it. Mostly because we still have one more year of high school ahead and I won't know what to do when we see again there - should I act as if we don't know each other? I don't feel mad at him at all, if I knew the reason why this is happening I'd probably understand. It's just that I know nothing and it scares me a little.

This is something that has been on my mind for a while.

One thing I’ve repeatedly heard from INTPs I’ve dated or been friends with is a version of “I don’t want to feel needed”. The first time I heard someone say it, I found it confusing. But over time I kept hearing the same phrase from different people. That made me think, and looking back, I can even remember it coming up in past relationships and friendships.

Now I’m wondering whether this is something that many INTPs relate to, or whether I’ve just happened to meet people with similar views because of who I am. I also wonder whether my own independence attracts people who prefer that kind of dynamic.

If that resonates with you, what does “not wanting to feel needed” actually mean? Is it about avoiding codependency? Not wanting to be responsible for someone else’s happiness? Preserving your independence? Or is it something else?

Not necessarily a romantic relationship related question, just curious: what other mbti types do you find yourselves gravitating toward, or who tends to gravitate toward you?

Personally, I’ve noticed I tend to click with infps. I have a few close friends who are, and my girlfriend is one too. isfps are really cool as well (my longtime bestie is an isfp) though I find they can be a little more intimidating to approach than infps.
I also like entps. They’re great conversation and drinking buddies, even if they kinda piss me off easily (they are kind of hot, though ngl). I really enjoy enfps, even if they can be a bit much sometimes. I like that I can stop worrying about the effort of socializing with everyone else when I’m with them and just let them take the attention (like at parties and stuff).
I have several isfj and istj friends (my brother is an istj), great friends and people overall, though they can get a bit boring or too rigid sometimes for my taste, but it's all good.

Those are the most recurring personality types in my life. What’s the case for you?

me and him have been really good friends for about 5ish months. we connected almost very quickly. after he removed his shell we've been talking everyday. once he told me he likes me but isn't ready for anything more. i know that was actually him liking the connection not me romanticly. but after some months passed by, we still talk everyday, he shares his inner thoughts and feelings with me, even vulnereble things alot. recently he flirted with me but im not sure if he flirted as friends or something..kinda confused. just what are some signs that he is in love with me romacticly?

Hey, I'm going through a bad situation with my gf. And it most likely might end terribly.

So I want your experiences with moving on , especially if the end was:

Mixed : She says, "I don't know what I want."

Or Sad : She says, "I think we're over."

Or Cold : She says, "Okay."

And thing is I know I couldn't get out of my room afterwards, so any ideas to prepare myself?

Maschi hanno spesso bisogno di relaziioni corte. Basato su bisogno fisiologico svuotare sperma da testicoli. Causa fisiologica. piu giovane e piu ce bisogno. o flirt.

Femina appena nasce. comincia giocare con bambole famiglia. Anke quando chiamo lei per un giro di ballo. lei gia valuta. se io potenziale padre per sue figli.

Secondo me. necessario dividere e chiarire subito.

Bisogno fisiologico di sex meglio sodisfare con bambole sessuali. e sesso artificiale vagine artificiali. . Noi abbiamo bisogno piu di loro.

Invece famiglia per essere stabile. richiede pianificazione su base esperienza generazioni passati.

Ma se femmina vuole relazione diversa. esempio. famiglia senza figli o relazione temporanea. perche no. ma deve chiarire subito in tuti dettagli importanti.

guys, I probably need help.

I'm doing okay in social setting, able to talk to people and all (not liking it that much though but it's the fact that I can do it) but I'm absolutely unable to make friendships that will last.

I eventually gets really bored of people, and if I do not, they suddenly mischaracterize me or put me on a pedestal or wtv.

Like I feel like I can't be myself with people, (this one might be a little bit aimed at INFPs but okay) and friends just don't get me as who I am and weirdly fall in love in me?

Every relationship that i have(friendship or love I mean) end up in me leaving them behind because of that.

Is something wrong with me or can some people relate?

Hi! INFJ (21F) here. I have a coworker who’s an INTP (30M). We work in separate departments but they overlap a little, so we see each other throughout the day.

He’s been at our company for about 5 months now, and for the past 4-ish months we’ve slowly built this interesting relationship that mostly consists of insulting each other lol. It started when we interacted over genuine work stuff, and somehow it slowly turned into banter between us, with him telling me I’m terrible at my job, that I’m the dumbest person there, blaming random things on me, telling me my stupidity inspires him lol, and I always throw it right back at him so we have this playful back-and-forth dynamic.

But what stands out to me is that he seems to always find reasons for us to interact, even when he doesn’t have to. He comes to my work room to ask me “work-related” questions that I happen to know he didn’t actually need to ask me. Sometimes he’ll come over just to talk, and he’ll sit next to me and suddenly start engaging me in conversation about politics, ethics, philosophy, etc. Basically from 0-100 real quick lol. It absolutely fascinates me. Sometimes, if he notices I look stressed, he’ll give me dry and practical advice. When we don’t see each other for a few hours, sometimes he’ll text me with a work-related pretense, or call me on the phone to ask me a question he already knows the answer to.

We have a lot of ongoing inside jokes between us, and we engage in dark humor with each other, which is pretty fun and I don’t find that with a lot of other people.

Just yesterday while we were joking around, he said “be a good girl and just do it” while smirking, and that actually made my brain short-circuit lol, but I have no idea if he was really flirting or not. We also hold a lot of eye contact with each other, whether we’re joking or talking about a more serious topic. I rarely do with others, or at least as intensely as I look at INTP…

So I guess I’m wondering… from an INTP perspective, is this just what happens when you find a coworker genuinely fun to talk to? Or is repeatedly seeking someone out, remembering little jokes, debating with them, etc., something you’d usually only do if you were at least a little interested?

How did you know they are the right person? And what's their MBTI?

As someone who has spent years observing personality patterns in relationships, I've noticed that INTPs are often described in two completely opposite ways.

Some people describe INTPs as surprisingly loyal, devoted partners who form very deep bonds once they commit.

Others describe them as emotionally unavailable, detached, difficult to read, and prone to withdrawing into their own world.

This raises an interesting question:

Are relationship challenges with INTPs primarily caused by the INTP's natural need for independence, or by partners misinterpreting a different style of emotional expression?

For those who are INTPs, or have been in long-term relationships with one:

• What do most people misunderstand about INTPs in relationships?

• What relationship patterns have you repeatedly observed?

• What causes INTP relationships to thrive?

• What causes them to fail?

Interested in hearing both personal experiences and personality-based perspectives.

I (f) have been dating an INTP for a little bit now, while i feel like our communication is great, we still have many differences in what we need and how we show are feelings.

I probably should learn more INTPs in general but i just sometimes feel like im being pushy when they’re not ready to share a thoughts or feeling.

I’m just not good with introverts in general, please help me

(Also, possibly unrelated, if my INTP is not food motivated, what do I do? This is a genuine question, maybe for a diff sub though)

For context, i f 20/21 get inXj, though prefer to identify with infj. I am interested in a very stereotypical, shy intp m 24/25 who doubts himself from overanalyzing.

Ill save you the long ass story of why i believe he is interested, but just know he has made it quite obvious through actions + body language.

I've heard that shy people (also intps) tend to look for opportunities to act while i would prefer to create the opportunity and just do that. I just wonder if the fact that he isnt 'creating' a situation is a signal that he would only act when 'convenient' (hesitant abt that word).

Problem: i want to approach but my family says im too direct and will scare him off. Is there a particular way to communicate with him as intp to get him more comfortable or to convey interest so that i can have a relationship with this guy 😭 im getting impatient

I’m talking to an INTP who has a very demanding job, and works 10-14+ hour days sometimes. He just said he’s out working and told me he’s into me, we should meet up when he’s back, etc.

We haven’t talked in 4-5 days and my brain is like YOU FUCKED UP but I’m just hoping for reassurance from fellow INTP that all is ok? And to just chill?

I met a girl this weekend and things went better than expected, but my insecure brain got in the way and I missed a couple too many signs that she wanted me to spend the night lmao

so I realized after a couple of days, laughed and cringed a bit, and this idea came to mind: that I should pray to the simulation overlords (or whoever is listening) that my consciousness should go back to sunday evening, at the moment she got a message saying her mother went to work by herself and wouldn't need a ride (leaving the house to herself only). And that I should go back with a seed planted in my brain in order to guarantee I would have the balls to at least ask for confirmation of that fact, and then insist just a bit more on that goodnight kiss after I took her home to see if I get an invitation lmao

no matter what you say, and until proven otherwise, there *is* a non zero probability that things will work out my way and I'm feeling good because of it. The religious folk might have a point