r/infp

For example I like to pace around the house listening to music. I know it can be weird not doing anything but just pacing in the same spot but for some reason it helps me relax and clear my head. is their anything that you guys think is weird that you do. I'm also pretty sure that as a guy how much I like talking about relationships is kind of weird. LoL

I've known my best friend since highschool. We are meeting pretty regularly, usually once a week or other week. We live in the same city and are on the same "life stage" so it's easy.

The thing is sometimes our conversations are flat. And its not only on my side, I can also see it in my friend. I feel like we are trying to keep the conversation going and it sometimes hit but sometimes it just drags for hours.

I wonder if we should just slow down a bit and meet more irregularly? What's your thoughts on it? Do you think this is a good idea or not?

I'm a little bit on the fence....I always felt like our friendship is so strong and keep going because we are seeing each other constantly. If we would meet for example once a month, that could make our relationship more difficult.

I've been trying to make connections. I have friends. They can confide in me, and sometimes I confide in them. Some of us share hobbies and interests. Some I've met randomly. But, none of them give me the emotional connection I so desperately need. And physical contact is impossible do too long distance.

Romantic relationships feel like a pipedream.

And I have never "just act normal" or "fit in".

Right now I'm in my room, alone again; on the brink of tears but too emotionally represented and tired to cry.

I need a break. I need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay. A sympathetic shoulder to cry on, that I don't have to worry about pulling away; leaving me alone again.

I always want to be there for them. But none of my relationships (Friends, family, etc) ever give me a fraction of what I put in. I'm tired of fighting the battle of diminishing returns. Of giving everything because I know what it's like to have no one there; and yet feeling like nothing has changed.

I'm still the same tired, lonely, pressed, loser I've been for years. Some may call me a failure, but I'm not. Giving it your all and getting nothing in return. That's not being a failure, that's being failed. My whole life people have failed me; and I'm starting to fail to see the reason to fight for myself.