r/infp

I want to see if personality type actually has anything todo with the kind of music one likes. Do you even like listening to music?

I’m curious! Recently, I’ve been playing a lot of Alan Wake 2, and I absolutely love it — the plot, atmosphere, and music. I’m also considering getting Directive 8020 since I love horror, and I’ve played all The Dark Pictures Anthology games so far.

Hi all. I'm an INFP, and I've been struggling with something that I think many empaths will recognize. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'll try to keep it short, but it's complicated.

As an INFP, empathy isn't something you do—it's who you are. You feel other people's pain as if it were your own. That gift became a curse in my relationship with my mother.

Three years ago, I cut off contact with her. She has borderline personality disorder and narcissism. Being around her meant walking on eggshells—she demanded all attention, and any attempt at setting boundaries was met with cold rejection that left me anxious and destabilized for days. As an INFP, I had always been deeply attuned to her emotions and fell naturally into people-pleasing, but eventually I couldn't keep it up. When I asked for less contact, she reacted dismissively and later told me I was destroying her—the most painful thing an INFP can hear.

Since then, I've experienced a freedom I never knew: I started studying, left the church, and found friends who share my love for art and philosophy. Yet a nagging voice persists, telling me I should reconnect—that maybe one day I'll be "strong enough" to have something good with her (she is in her eighties now, so time is running out). My INFP empathy lets me vividly imagine how abandoned she must feel, but I also know that seeing her would only bring new pain. The grey rock method feels like self-betrayal; it goes against my authentic nature, and I can't be around her without falling back into pleasing mode.

My question is this:

As an INFP whose empathy and authenticity are central to who I am, how do I reconcile my deep understanding of my mother's pain with the knowledge that contact harms me—and let go of the hope that I'll someday be "strong enough" to make the relationship work?

(Title)

ADDITION: For me, it's if you are feeling sinister by Belle and Sebastian:)

For the past 23 days, my sleep cycle has been completely ruined. I'm barely surviving on 4 hours of sleep, and it's not even continuous. It’s broken, fragmented sleep at random times of the day—like 2 hours in the morning and another 2 hours at some random time. I've tried resetting my sleep cycle multiple times before, but it always ends up getting ruined again.

​To finally fix this, I decided to do a full 24-hour stay-awake "hard reset" today. Right now, I'm sitting in my college class—there is no teacher here, and it's incredibly boring. But ironically, I'm not feeling sleepy at all. My eyes aren't heavy, and there's absolutely zero trace of sleepiness in me right now lol.

​Being an INFP (4w5), my mind has basically never been quiet since childhood. My brain naturally refuses to accept surface-level things; it always defaults to diving extremely deep into whatever I'm analyzing. Because of this, my head is constantly filled with dark psychology thoughts and intense daydreaming that just never stops. Especially in the silence of the night, this depth of thinking goes completely out of control.

​Does your mind also get trapped in deep, dark thoughts and endless daydreaming at night? How do you guys quiet down this never-ending mental energy? Reading your experiences will really help pass the time in this empty class.

How do you deal with feeling so overstimulated when you spend too much time around people that it passed your social limit. I try to seclude myself from people for a bit but that doesn’t really help. I’m so burnt out right now, I’m exhausted. How can I stop the burnouts?

I discovered that I was INFP a long time ago, and thought that most of my behavior was just due to my personality.

As of recent though, I realized that I'm most definitely on the spectrum, and a lot has started to make sense.

The creativity, the higher empathy, the unquestionable values. They're all traits that are common in autistic people.

Now I'm not sure anymore if I actually am an INFP, or just neurodivergent.

INFPs can suffer from worrying that they are incompetent or that they're objectively worthless. The reality is that you're just not.

In reality, Fi users, your goal isn't to show the world you're competent it's to show the world that competence starts from within.

Fi intelligence isn't cerebral. It's embodied. I takes a certain courage to be willing to embody the wisdom of the world because knowledge hurts. Truth hurts. No one with a bright light is spared from that truth.

People might attack you, talk shit about you, talk behind your back, argue with you excessively or make you feel stupid but the reality is that it's all proof that youre the medicine.

Does this mean the things they do to you are right? No.

Does this mean you deserve what happened to you? No.

Do you deserve better? Absolutely.

All it really means is that the world is still broken. People are still broken on the inside. It's not you, it's them.

I realized this when reflecting on why INFPs may get attached to logic. My own desires to be logical. Here's the thing. I'm a strong enough soul to make it happen. I became exactly that. I became logical and intelligent through my own will at the cost of much of my sympathy and sensitivity at times. I feel as though I have forsaken my own gifts.

Will I ever stop fighting to reclaim myself and what's rightfully mine? To find the courage to reject the image I created for myself? Absolutely not. I will not give up.

In the meantime what I want for you, is not to forsake your own gifts. The value of Fi which is embodiment, it's to avoid making the same mistakes I have. To know that I know that you aren't worthless, stupid or whatever.

You might be clumsy, you might fail or make mistakes or look stupid in an argument because you're not willing to hurt them or because you're hurt. You might look like an asshole at times and question if you could have done better.

The reality isn't that you never need to learn. It's that you can't afford to forget who you are. Even if it means looking stupid, looking like a beginner, looking like a fool, a dumbass if you will.

Not to hold resentment towards those who hurt you. But to feel pain instead of feeling like they need to pay. They might never learn their lesson.

The world needs you to remind people how to move through the truth in their bodies and hearts.

Anyways, this was on my mind and I felt like I needed to get it out.

I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and take care.

like how can you guys live when you don't use your imagination daily? How can y'all go on with your lives stuck in the present without a way to ease the stress and misery such as dissociating (not literally) into another dimension in your heads? I feel like being an Se user forces you to focus on what saddens you

All results says I have high Fi, but ive been doing lots of crazy shits and I know its high Ne, i do lot of crazy stuff.. And when I see a situation I think I use Ne and on games too i try every possible ending or choices .. in my life decisions too i tried almost everything, programming music art and other things sport.. but I am introvert as fuck or am i just autistic?? I am like outcast too but I do lot of weirdshit high Ne users do..

And Ifeel it too like idk, I switch up so fast, and trying things testing thing what will happen if i do this shits without thinking after effect

Im a 17f gen Z. And I ought to admit that even though this generation is way more raw and honest- they are rude.

I don't like my own peers. My own gen. They are all bratty, entitled, insecure to the core by trying to fit in so hard and also cause insecurity to others.

I don't know if that's how they genuinely are..maybe im like that too. But once I get a taste of my own rudeness, I tend to become aware and not be rude to others. Hence I think I am nice most of the time.

I don't like my generation.

At times I don't think I'll find anyone who I'll like.

Or share similar interests as me.

Yes, maybe I am naturally pretentious and a goody two shoes. But i don't get the point of being intentionally mean.

I wish I had some friends who were honest to themselves and to me, who had atleast a bit of similar, fixated similar interests (hobbies which they indulge in for long time)

Maybe I wish I had my own carbon copy to talk to.

Whatever.

😕

Instead of feeling good for taking up stand for me, I start feeling pain and what they must be going through. How do i stop myself from ts?

I hate this side of me being empathetic.

I wish I didn't feel this way, only than I'd be mean and 50% of my problems would be vanished.

Ps: I'm 18

I’ve noticed that when INFPs pull away, it’s rarely without an internal reason.

Usually, something emotional starts bothering them quietly, even if they can’t explain it immediately.

Rather than reacting on the spot, they tend to withdraw and reflect on what they’re feeling first.

They often need space to understand whether they feel hurt, disconnected, misunderstood, or emotionally overwhelmed.

To the other person, this can come across as silence or loss of interest.

But internally, the INFP is usually trying to process their emotions carefully before opening up again.

Has anyone experienced this with an INFP in a relationship?

and the cycle of unhappiness continues.

i think that the only important thing in life is to learn to be independently happy.