u/firephoenix_sam19

Do you guys think we should always find a way to keep our inner child happy?

I feel like there's so much loneliness in the world because people's core emotional needs just aren't being met. And a big part of that, imo, is the stuff our inner child still craves: affection, whimsy, curiosity, being understood, feeling safe, being excited about stupid little things, etc.

Obviously we can't just live like children forever. Life requires responsibility, discipline and all that. But completely ignoring those parts of ourselves for years doesn't seem healthy either. I think, as adults, the most important part is to find a way to balance serious life stuff with meeting core needs.

I've realised this through some introspection btw, that being an adult isn't about suppressing the inner child (sometimes it happens unconsciously aswell). Maybe it's about learning how to take care of it while still being a functioning adult ig.

I'm curious if other INFPs relate to this.

I've noticed a pattern over the years, and I'm curious if it's just me or if other INFPs experience this too.

People seem to find it surprisingly easy to confide in me. Especially thinking types. During one-on-one conversations, they'll often open up about things they've never told many people, show a much softer side, or share secrets they usually keep hidden.

The funny thing is, my definition of "friend" is actually very exclusive. A lot of people who consider me a close friend, I wouldn't necessarily put in that category myself. It makes me wonder if they simply see me as a safe space rather than someone they're deeply connected to. Or maybe they use me as a crutch sometimes.

Where it gets complicated is with other feelers.

In my experience, once another feeler starts opening up, our conversations become incredibly deep over weeks or months. They share something deeply personal, we build a strong emotional connection... and then one of two things happens.

Either they lean into that closeness and the friendship grows stronger, or they suddenly become distant. Almost as if the level of vulnerability itself overwhelmed them.

I've experienced the second outcome more than once. They'll fade away, and even if they come back later, they never seem comfortable going that deep again.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? Whether you're an INFP or another type, I'd love to know if you've experienced something similar, or if you have a completely different explanation for why this happens.

I've noticed something about myself recently, and I'm curious if anyone else experiences this.

Whenever life throws a major setback at me, whether its academics, work, relationships, whatever, I don't just feel sad for a while. I spiral. I overthink every little thing, replay conversations, question my self-worth, and my mind can go to some pretty dark places. In those moments, it genuinely feels like there's no way out.

But then, after a while, which could be hours or days or months, depending on the setback, something strange happens. It's almost like my brain reaches a saturation point where it just says, "Fuck it." It feels like a psychological Zenkai boost.

The closest analogy I can think of is Bruce Wayne climbing out of Bane's prison in The Dark Knight Rises. When you're at the bottom, the climb looks impossible. But once you make it out, you trust yourself more than you did before you fell.

It feels like a superpower sometimes. I feel like maybe other INFPs feel it too?

Either way, I'm grateful that my mind seems to work this way. At this point, I genuinely believe that as long as I'm still me, it's never really over.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I see posts about mental health every day on social media. But the concept of exploring complex psychological issues within 15/30/60 second format videos itself is a bit flawed.

And the social media algorithms are notorious of showing is what we want to see at a particular moment.

I remember when I'd left my job, suddenly these reels started coming in how a job doesn't define your character, and other unemployment related memes as well.

The thing is, the algorithms are designed to show us content that is similar and relatable to us on a surface level. And for entertainment, that's understandable. But lately, I can see how much damage the reels related to mental health have been doing.

As INFPs, I feel like we are much more aware when it comes to identifying this social media trap of buzzword psychology mumbo jumbo that's supposed to make us feel good for a minute. Because we have a habit of going down the rabbit hole and exploring the nuances of everything that's interesting to us.

Granted, still, a lot of us can be impulsive due to other complex sociological or psychological factors, which is why it's important to always keep nuance in mind in this new world full of impulsive decision making and quick gratification, which is part of the reason why a lot of people aren't able to maintain relationships these days too.

Sometimes, it is acceptable to keep our negative feelings about a person or situation aside, let that thought marinate a little, pause, and then take a decision, rather than impulsively cutting people off, or leaving situations, which, in long term, is damaging to us.

Let me know what you guys think :)

Like I get it, as human beings, we should help ourselves, but the caveat is, a lot of terrible people see such content and feel empowered to do terrible things to "Protect their own peace".

An year ago I was talking with someone on the daily, and abruptly, I got ghosted out of nowhere. Literally no warning signs!

Only a few months ago I asked what happened and this exact sentence was their reply.

I door slammed them after that.

Protecting your own peace doesn't mean that you can do that by hurting others. Basic kindness trumps that stupid phrase people.

Remember, a lot of us are kind, and sometimes people take advantage of us, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who see your true value. If you go by this phrase religiously, you will miss out on people and experiences that enrich your lives!

I feel like a lot of us deal with anchors- they weigh us down. These anchors can be people, objects or situations even.

I feel like I care for people even when I know they're not good for me. Like they're not necessarily bad, they can be good people, but they might just not be right for me. But I still spend a lot of energy trying to keep them in my life, and it's so exhausting.

How to detach from anchors?

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I (M25)(INFP), met a girl online (F22). She's INFJ. She's intelligent, sensitive, emotional and non religious like me. And we share a looot of common interests coincidentally. She has all the qualities I want.

We live in different countries with a time zone difference of 3:30 hours. We've been talking almost every day since the last two months. Both of us don't enjoy calling or getting called but we send cute photos and voice notes to each other.

Now we've made it clear that both of us like each other a lot, and honestly, sometimes I wanna say the L word, but I don't wanna let go of this cute phase, and I don't want to define the relationship this soon.

We're both earning, and there's minimal visa restrictions between our countries, and we talk about meeting each other almost every day. She says, that it's a matter of when, and I agree. But knowing all these facts, I'm still a little scared. Statistically, international relationships don't really last, and I fantasize about defying those odds, but realistically, could we work?

Should I say that I love her? I know that she's gonna reciprocate, but I also don't wanna end up in a future heartbreak, simply because of the physical difference between us. Or should I just take the leap?