u/Smile9037

I feel like this happens to me all the time as an INFP. If someone has an opinion, I don’t automatically agree just because we’re friends. I like to think for myself and use my own values to form my opinions. When I share a different perspective, it’s usually because I care and want to help, not because I’m trying to oppose them.

I don’t feel the need to pick a side, and always agreeing with someone just because we’re friends feels inauthentic to me. I can agree with someone and still consider another perspective, disagree with both sides or just stay neutral.

For example, my neighbor made a Facebook post about people honking at their elderly cat, which also has health issues. I replied, “Maybe it would be safer to keep the cat inside if it has health issues.”

I wasn’t blaming the owner or defending the people honking. I was just thinking about the cat’s safety, but people took it as criticism and got defensive.

Do you think certain MBTI types are more likely to experience this?

I feel like this happens to me all the time. If someone has a strong opinion about something, I don’t automatically agree with them just because we’re friends or because I care about them. That doesn’t necessarily mean I disagree either. Sometimes I just want to share my thoughts, understand why they think that way, look at the situation from a different perspective, or simply show that I care while still having my opinion.

But people can get SO defensive, and I genuinely don’t mean it in a confrontational way.

For example, a neighbor posted on Facebook about people honking at their cat and said that people should stop because the cat is elderly and has health issues. I commented something along the lines of, “Maybe if the cat has health issues, it would be safer to keep it inside.”

I wasn’t saying they were bad owners or that they had done something wrong. I was genuinely just thinking about the cat’s safety. If a cat is elderly or has health issues, wouldn’t keeping it inside reduce the chances of something happening to it? You can’t expect other people to always know the cat’s situation or know what might happen.

But people got really upset and interpreted my comment as me blaming the owner or saying it was their responsibility to do something differently. Then I end up getting sad and like I can’t say what I think at all without someone assuming the worst intentions behind it.

Does anyone else experience this?

I swear I literally cannot talk. I get so shy and blushy, and suddenly I’m feeling a million emotions at once. I can’t formulate words, think of what to do next, or even figure out what I want in that moment.

This happened recently with a guy where the attraction felt pretty mutual. We kept looking at each other and smiling, but I got so shy I literally couldn’t say a word. He even waited before leaving, like he was giving me a chance to ask for his number, and I panicked and retreated. I just said bye and left. I’ve regretted it ever since 😭

And it’s not just around guys. I can’t even talk about guys I like. I tried talking to a friend about him once and got so anxious I could barely speak.

Mind you, I’m an adult. I also don’t really let people get close to me because I know I’m like this, so I usually prefer keeping my distance.

Idk how I’m ever supposed to date when I feel a million things at once and completely shut down 💀