"If someone ignores you, it means they want you out of their life"

Or

"If someone ignores you, it means you are the most important to them"

I'm infp and I lean toward the second one. What do you think and what is your mbti type?

Having a convo as a Se user with a Ne user is actually so draining, like I cannot keep up. No, because I literally do not care to debate the philosophy of whether morality is just a social construct or listen to some esoteric yap session about how the universe operates. Like, it’s fun for a minute, but it quickly becomes too much. How is this affecting me right now in real life? I have bills to pay, my pipes are literally leaking, and I gotta deal with people’s NPC behavior before they crash out

Is it all evenly distributed among different nations/cultures?

A lot of INFJ descriptions seem more focused on preserving an altruistic therapist archetype than describing the actual type and it's contradictions.
I understand some of why this happens, but it still confuses me nonetheless. It took me nearly three years to type myself. While I partly attribute this to my reluctance to use labels, I also think that if INFJ descriptions (yes, even ones that correctly reference cognitive functions) were more accurate, I may have figured it out sooner.

This is obviously subjective, but the INFJs I know tend to agree that the altruistic archetypes and blanket terminology often feel incomplete… To me, they feel heavily idealized and strangely devoid of internal experience (like inner contradictions). Generally, it feels like the flattering traits are emphasized while the contradictory or less appealing ones are minimized as irrelevant.

I understand MBTI is pseudoscience and therefore vague terms can be inevitable. Still, I feel like these descriptions could be far more nuanced. You may argue that this is why it’s important to learn cognitive functions and look beyond descriptions, and I completely agree. At the same time, I’ve read descriptions of other types that felt significantly less abstract.

I thought the Humanmetrics one was alright in comparison to others, but I still found it lacking. Maybe I just haven’t come across one that sounds well written yet. I’m more than open to recommendations if anyone has any.

Note: I am not saying no one relates to these descriptions, I am merely describing my personal relation to INFJ descriptions that I think some people can agree with.

Why exactly do i tend to hear the most outrageous insults towards them?

Pliz i nid to know🥺

I am an INFJ 5w4 sx/sp 541.

The number one thing I look for in a relationship is accountability.

I just feel that if you can’t hold yourself accountable for your actions then you can’t truly be committed to a partnership. Without it, communication is more apt to manifest as lies or resentful silence. That already throws honesty out the window. And how can you have loyalty if you can’t trust someone?

You can still have humor, intelligence, wit, passion — but without the aforementioned it is more likely to be a shield, to be at one’s expense, or to fade entirely once the initial excitement wears off.

I want all of this and more but at the end of the day I need someone who I can rely on. Someone I know is gonna be there no matter what. Someone who is willing to stay and work things out together as a team.

These are the standards I hold for them. These are the standards I ask them to hold for me.

Accountability - Reciprocity - Communication - Honesty - Loyalty - Emotional Intelligence and Maturity - Self-Awareness - Shared Values - Resilience - Empathy - Humility - Kindness - Intelligence - Humor - Wit - Independence - A Rich Inner World - Passion - Aliveness

I imagine this to be the most deeply intimate and meaningful kind of love. We don’t have to be perfect but we always have to try.

I don’t have it in me to settle for less and I know I can be perfectly happy on my own. But this is the dream.

As for the most socially accepted types, I saw most people say ISFJ, ESFJ, ENFJ and ESTJ

Do infjs want to be special and find it hard to accept that they are normal human beings while isfjs don't have this problem?

So personally, I don't believe that ISTJs are the most common type, and that INFJs are the least common type. As it obvious clear, there are more extroverts in the world than there are introverts, and there are clearly more sensors than intuitives. So I as an INTJ have made my own measurements of how many people of each personality type(s) there are in this world, based on my own observations and various resources, and based on the info that I have gathered, I have estimated that 75% of peole are extroverts, 25% are introverts, 70% are sense users, 30% are intuitive users, 35% are thinkers, 65% are feelers, 40% use judgement, and 60% use perspective. So with all of that, the real population numbers for all of the 16 personality types is:

ESFP 20.475%

ESFJ 13.65%

ESTP 11.025%

ENFP 8.775%

ESTJ 7.35%

ISFP 6.825%

ENFJ 5.85%

ENTP 4.725%

ISFJ 4.55%

ISTP 3.675%

ENTJ 3.15%

INFP 2.925%

ISTJ 2.45%

INFJ 1.95%

INTP 1.575%

INTJ 1.05%

If you agree or disagree with my conclusions, please feel free to say why and add your own in input and opinions.

I'm an infp but I don't really feel like I'm always super empathetic like people say we are. I do feel for people, but mostly when I can actually relate to what they're going through or ive been through something similar.

Most of the time I get kind of stuck in my own head and my own emotions, so I don't always notice what other people are feeling right away. And then later i'll realize I probably didn't handle something well and I get embarrassed and end up apologizing. Also if someone isn't really around me or talking to me i kind of just...forget to reach out. It's not that I don't care I just get distracted in my own world.

I dont know I just wonder if other infps are actually like this, or if the stereotype is kinda exaggerated.

I recently came across a post detailing the "ENTP Si subtype", it explained how an ENTP with such a subtype would display the greatest similarity with ISTJs - as opposed to other types, as well as an explanatiom to why this would be the case.

Personally, I feel that if we're going to map out differences between people of the same type it should come down to things like Enneagram with wings or tritypes, perhaps different ideas from psychology and psychopathology. Or by accepting the fact that every individual person comes from a different environment, culture, houshold, -a different lived experience, different genetics and so on that cannot be mapped out universally like mbti can.

Or if I were to be honest, I don't think subtypes add anything real to the table and serve to muddy the water more than anything.

But what are your thoughts on subtypes?

When they encounter a situation where the rules set by other people are nonsensical/unjust/unfair, an INTP would rebel by either not following the rules at all or straight up not playing the game. Getting to their end goal is optional, but they will not comply with the rules.

An INTJ on the other hand will ruthlessly pursue the goal no matter what. If the rules are dirty they’ll just play dirtier. They don’t care about the fairness of the process or that complying with ungrounded rules constitutes corruption of their integrity and dignity by the authority, as long as in the end they achieve their goal, their actions are validated.

For example, if they are a widely persecuted ethnic minority in society and they’re participating in let’s say some kind of highly prestigious competition, and the rules are openly unfair to them and they face harassment, gatekeeping etc from the majority who don’t want to see them win. An INTP will just refuse to play. An INTJ will be Machiavellian and pretend to comply for the time being, and play with the odds and the rules against the INTJ, because the INTJ knows that as long as they still win in the end, everything will be validated and they will have their voice heard.

--- Thanks ---

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone who has provided feedback on the 16Selves personality test to date.

Recently, an INTJ raised the point that sensors might find the items too abstract - and two ENFPs subsequently indicated that even they found the items too abstract - which led to my adding tooltips with concrete examples for sensors. These are accessed by hovering over or tapping each item. This might be a first for an MBTI-style/functions test.

Also, INTPs in r/intp challenged me on what problem I’m trying to solve, and what “more accurate” or “best-fit type” actually means.

That led me to reflect on the idea that, because MBTI is considered weak - statistically and otherwise - people often interpret that to mean Jung’s underlying work is weak. However, it may instead be that a robust cognitive functions test simply hasn’t yet been developed, because we’ve lacked the appropriate statistical and multi-AI methods to develop one until now. The lack of research in that area is the specific problem I’m trying to solve.

It also led me to add definitions to the test, such as:

By “best fit,” we mean the type framework that most closely matches your overall pattern of cognition, motivation, and behaviour - especially when you’re acting naturally rather than adapting to external expectations.

It also led me to define probabilities as confidence estimates.

Furthermore, I’d like to thank everyone who has taken the test and submitted their results - which are otherwise private - to help improve it. This has led to seven rounds of revision of the instrument to date, based on multi-AI analysis of statistics such as Cronbach’s alpha, with the seventh revision just posted a moment ago.

I’m cautiously optimistic that it is now the best cognitive functions instrument in existence, and it will continue to improve as more data comes in.

INTPs: by “best in existence,” I mean reporting confidence estimates with the greatest predictive power, insofar as a type description can be predictive.

--- Now to the animals issue ---

I recently coerced a friend into taking the test and asked her what type she got.

“Oh, I’m the owl or something.”

“Which owl?” I asked.

“Is there more than one owl? Why?”

Good question. I guess the developer is just going through an owl phase. 😃

It seems that more cursory or disinterested test takers - such as those coerced into doing so by us “MBTI warriors” (#dearKristin) - tend to remember their animal only. So it seems important that each type have its own animal, and that the animal feel meaningful.

Ideally, the animals should be: (1) easy to anthropomorphise for image-creation purposes; (2) socially desirable; (3) strongly resonant with the type; and (4) distinct enough that people remember them. Ne users might be especially good at this - perhaps ENFPs in particular!

To that end, I’d love input on what animal should be assigned to each type. Here’s my preliminary list for feedback:

INTJ - Raven

Strategic, observant, elegant, and a little mysterious. Ravens feel intelligent without needing to be loud, which suits INTJs’ preference for competence, independence, and long-range thinking.

INTP - Octopus

Curious, alien-brained, flexible, puzzle-solving, and hard to box in. The octopus flatters INTPs because it suggests inventive intelligence rather than conventional status.

ENTJ - Lion

Commanding, charismatic, protective, and naturally associated with leadership. It is socially desirable because it signals confidence and authority without needing much explanation.

ENTP - Fox

Clever, playful, improvisational, charming, and slightly mischievous. A fox captures ENTP wit: agile enough to escape traps, persuasive enough to make the trap seem like a debate topic.

INFJ - Snow leopard

Rare, private, graceful, intense, and quietly powerful. The snow leopard gives INFJs mystique and moral seriousness without making them seem fragile.

INFP - Deer

Gentle, soulful, sensitive, and symbolically pure. Deer are socially beloved and aesthetically beautiful, matching INFPs’ desire to be seen as sincere, tender, and quietly resilient.

ENFJ - Dolphin

Warm, socially intelligent, cooperative, emotionally responsive, and beloved. Dolphins fit ENFJs because they combine friendliness, leadership, and group harmony.

ENFP - Otter

Playful, affectionate, curious, expressive, and irresistibly likable. Otters are socially desirable because they radiate joy, spontaneity, and warmth without seeming shallow.

ISTJ - Badger

Steady, industrious, territorial in a principled way, and quietly formidable. The badger flatters ISTJs by honouring their groundedness, work ethic, and “do not test me on the rules” backbone - without the mystical aura that owls carry toward INxJ types.

ISFJ - Golden retriever

Loyal, nurturing, steady, kind, and universally loved. It suits ISFJs because it makes devotion and caretaking look admirable, warm, and emotionally safe.

ESTJ - German shepherd

Disciplined, protective, dependable, vigilant, and built for duty. The German shepherd suits ESTJs because it signals competent authority and order-keeping - a working leader rather than a distant, soaring one.

ESFJ - Elephant

Family-oriented, emotionally bonded, socially attentive, protective, and memorable. Elephants flatter ESFJs because they symbolise loyalty, community, tradition, and care.

ISTP - Lynx

Solitary, precise, silent, athletic, and unflappable. The lynx gives ISTPs a self-contained, tactical elegance - the lone specialist who appears only when needed - without the pack-coded baggage of the wolf.

ISFP - Horse

Beautiful, sensitive, expressive, and quietly powerful, with a strong inner life that responds to trust rather than command. The horse suits ISFPs’ aesthetic individuality and emotional depth better than the swan’s chillier symbolism, while still honouring grace and presence.

ESTP - Panther

Sleek, fast, bold, sensual, and dangerous in a socially admired way. The panther suits ESTPs because it signals action, confidence, instinct, and physical presence.

ESFP - Peacock

Vivid, performative, glamorous, fun, and impossible to ignore. Peacocks are ideal for ESFPs because they turn visibility into art: expressive, social, and celebratory.

Looking forward to everyone’s thoughts.

Please let me know if you are the type you’re commenting on - ideally according to the 16Selves test itself.

I am aware of the fact that MBTI best matches or anything along those lines is not entirely accurate and nowhere near deterministic - Anyone can in fact go well with anyone if they have shared experience and interests, and people are far more than 4 letters.

I still think that despite this there would be general correlations as to how types match with each other.

The following list is a collection of my personal experience with how type dynamics play out irl and and also looking at the most common pairings I found looking into the posts on this sub:

xNxx - perceiving function dominant

ENFP - INTJ

ENTP - INFJ

xNxx - judging function dominant

ENTJ - INTP

ENFJ - INFP

xSxP -

ESFP - ISTP

ESTP - ISFP

xSxJ -

ESFJ - ISTJ

ESTJ - ISFJ

This is less of a 'perfect match' list, but more of a list of pairings I have seen consistently both irl and online.

The interesting thing is that if you were to look into to the pairing you see a pattern. The types share their N/S axis and may or may not share their J/P axis. The inuiting dominant types simply share the N/S axis. The intuiting aux types share the N/S axis and also the T/F axis to possibly stabilise the relationship as intuiting is a trait further down though shared.

The SP types share Se

and The SJ types share Si

It seems people generally like to be in company of someone who shares their way of perceiving the world but are different everywhere else, maybe a sort of similar enough to share some common ground but different enough to maybe find some kind of mystique or something novel in the opposite person. It could also be something like coming to the same result by two different paths scenario

What do you think? have you seen these pairings anywhere before? do you think this is an imagined pattern or maybe interesting enough for me to make a slideshow of it?