r/PsychologyTalk

I hate that the new norm is that it's okay to lose interest in the things that defined you.

I hate that they think it's okay to lose your sex drive, that hyperactivity is too much for our fine California, that your passions and obsessions perhaps need to be dulled, etc.

No more intense rewards. Purely extrinsic motivation and defaulting to how you were raised.

Nintendo Switch gathering dust in the corner. Musical instruments forgotten about. Forgetting verses of your favorite songs. You no longer laugh at your favorite show. You go to a concert you were looking forward to, and it's just noise to you.

They'll say maybe you're just outgrowing video games, maturing past that angry synth music, or changing since people have to change.

It's apparently more important that after work, you maintain a house, go to a gym or park (controlled, highly public environments for extremely organized movement), etc., then limit the time you spend on screens while practicing etiquette with a partner. Vanilla sex, maybe, if you're still up for that.

Then, on the weekends, it's hanging out with a group of people who define themselves by their gender, and are all the same gender as you. In fact, age, gender, and city might be the only thing you all have in common. Make quiet, polite, controlled conversation with them about people-oriented topics. Look them in the eye. Be mindful of your voice. Sit still. Don't obsess over anything weird.

Let the trivia fall through the cracks of your mind.

Don't skip. You're too old.

Don't walk fast.

Slow down when you talk.

Indoor voices please.

Your brother's doctor says heavy metal music is bad for your heart.

Google Gemini cites random Reddit posts about synthesizers causing hearing damage, even at low volume.

It's good you game less, derive less pleasure from it, and perhaps are worse at it.

Be calm.

Be happy.

Not excited.

Not comfortably blunt.

Happy.

Meh.

Let us keep your hypothalamus in a state of stasis.

Don't go outside for the firework show.

It's too hot and you probably wouldn't enjoy it.

If the drug somehow makes you more excitable, that's mania.

We'll give the same drug to you if you're autistic.

We want you to surrender your worries.

Let people misgender you.

Let the grammar nazis win.

Let Christianity dominate your life.

It's good your fetish is dead.

It's worrying when it comes back.

It's good you're off that machine and in the real world.

Computers are for jobs.

Don't build a 3D printer.

Don't bother trying to reverse engineer things.

No making crazy noises in the DAW.

Be calm.

Use that breathy voice.

Sit still.

It's the real you.

The you you miss is a disease.

You're interchangeable and your passions are fragile lies that keep you from being POLITE.

Mind your manners

Sit still

With your legs together

With less emotion

Less motion

Less intensity

Less tech

You had too much energy

Don't tap your fingers

It's rude

And you don't get to say it's not

So shush.

Take your pill. Lower your dopamine. If this one doesn't work to lower it, here's one that blocks its effects.

You will probably never find your dream partner who's into cool stuff and doesn't play by the rules. We'll take away your ability to want them too.

 a name for this feeling:

• You’re totally conscious of who you are/where you are/what’s going on.
• Your physical senses all work fine.
• You‘re not confused or having memory problems
• You aren’t under the influence of any illicit substances
• You’re not excessively sleep deprived

BUT

• Something *feels* weird. Like, the world sort of feels fuzzier, dimmer, further away. You have a bit of an existential awareness like “whoah this is real but it feels off.” You‘re not physically dizzy, but you kind of feel like you’re not fully in control. You‘re numb, but you feel like maybe your experience of reality isn’t as sharp as it could be?

IS THIS:

• Brain fog?
• Anxiety?
• Trauma?
• SSRI dose is too strong?
• Just part of being alive?
• Spending too much time online, so the real world feels off?
• Something else?

A year felt endless when I was a kid. Now they vanish. The usual answer is “each year is a smaller slice of your life” — but I don’t think that’s the whole story.
What got me: some research suggests the brain processes fewer mental “snapshots” per second as we age, so the same hour holds less change. A 2025 fMRI study even found our sense of time tracks accumulated brain activity, not the clock.
Does anyone else actually feel this? And has anything ever slowed it down for you — travel, big life changes, learning something new?
(I ended up making a short visual essay on it, link Why Does Time Feel Faster As You Get Older?
https://youtu.be/ILy4\_hsj4QE if anyone wants it.)

They avoid effort, avoid trying anything, as to try would leave them vulnerable to the plain remimder that they really are responsible for themselves and that their lack of achievement and procrastination cannot be couched in a cozy delusion that one is a loser because of an act of God and factors beyond the discernment​ and advisement of peers and clinicians or even poets.

People who after highschool sat on the computer doing nothing for 10 or 15 years that have never had the courage to even attempt a hobby and are now heavily alienated and emotionally barricaded ​behind tectonic plates of self-doubt and are now vicarious and anonymous specters haunting themselves, becoming so closed off that they reprimand themselves for even feeling joy, as if anything good in life is but a trick and the joke has been over for a long time.

They also can't accept compliments because they have trained themselves to feel nothing about them because feeling self-esteem triggers an urge to suppress that and instead assume that they are just getting lazier and not analyzing their flaws because there is a general distortion in them that dictates that they must always be wrong or that their view is fundamentally worthless. When people try to reach out and help them they will become slippery and self-prosecutory and like they are trying to convince everyone that they are a loser so when those people eventually give up on them, it's used as confirmation to continue neglecting and denying themselves 

18-year-old, non-psychology student.

My primary interests include:

• Behavioral Psychology
• Biopsychology
• Neuroscience
• Neural mechanisms of cognition, decision-making, and thought processes
• Understanding human behavior through brain chemistry and neural systems
• Metacognition: regulation and monitoring of one’s own thinking processes
• Cognitive tools for reasoning improvement (e.g., cognitive biases, analytical frameworks, decision-making models)

As a complete beginner, I am unsure how to structure my learning path. I would appreciate guidance on whether it is necessary to begin with general psychology or whether I should start directly with more specialized areas.

I am also uncertain about the most effective starting point (e.g., textbooks, online courses, or academic articles), and I would be grateful for a recommended roadmap or structured sequence of topics to follow.

Thank you in advance.

Like an idea and a person can be one and the same it's just a matter of if your idea of a person is accurate or not I would think.

I'm noticing more and more people specifically the ones in relationships around me are becoming distant and to themselves more and more and just focused on low effort conversations and activities.

The more I think about psychology and how people think and react, the more I feel like we can’t really choose our personalities. We don’t choose to be good or bad; a lot of it comes from our brains, nervous systems, and life experiences.
Because of that, it’s hard for me to get mad at selfish or angry people. They’re reacting the way they’re wired and with time it became hard for me because u just hurt ur self, i’m good with bad people just because i feel they didnt choose to be like this.
Sometimes I feel that being deeply aware of psychology isn’t easy to live with.
Has anyone else felt like this? I need people with same experience.

As a guy I never saw the point of asking for nudes at all specially from women you haven't already had sex or from women you're unlikely to have sex with. If a girl directly offers their nudes herself that's one thing but asking for nudes just seems so weird to me.

Why would you degrade yourself by asking for nudes and settling to just masturbate to a girl when there's other means of self gratifying like 🌽 and only fans?

Hey everyone , I had an interesting discussion yesterday with someone about this. Obviously ,there are a few things that all human beings share in common,the way that the body reacts to anxiety ,feelings ,and etc. But when you dive in deeper and it's also been discussed in modern psychology ,the cultural gaps between people make a huge difference and impacts about how they view things ,react to them ,and experience them. Things like culture ,religious beliefs ,cultural codes and I can continue all these things effect about how we view things in every aspect of our life and shaping our inner world Now let's say that a person comes from the middle east ,and he goes to a therapy with a psychologist from western countries (Europe ,USA) . The difference between then can be an obstacle in therapy ? Because the person I have been talking to thinks that's its impossible

I’ve noticed something strange. Most people think making the wrong decision is what hurts them. But in my experience, it’s often the decisions you keep postponing that quietly shape your life. You don’t know if you’ll fail, so you wait. Then weeks become months, and eventually your current situation becomes the default—not because you chose it, but because you never chose anything else. Avoiding a decision is still a decision. What’s one choice you’ve been delaying because you’re afraid of making the wrong one?

I don't know how i got this thing, but I always seem to sense who a person really is beneath the image they present. Even if someone has spent years building a perfect reputation or pretending to be someone they're not, I'll suddenly get a random one-line thought (even though I am not even thinking that way or not having any doubt about the person) like, "No, this person is actually like this," or "They've done something," or "They think or do things they never show anyone." The strange part is that, after the thought, even I might think they're a good person, and later I convince myself I was just overthinking.

But then, days, months, or even years later, it turns out to be exactly what that random thought had told me. It's so so so frustrating to live like this. I start getting strange vibes from almost everyone, become confused, and find it hard to talk to people normally. Around 90% of the people I know eventually lose my trust or respect because of these feelings and thoughts.

Hello! I'm a first year psychology student. Can you recommend me beginner friendly books that I must read? I barely read and i know I'll have to read a lot from now on so I want to start ASAP! Feel free to drop advice as well. Looking forward to study. Thank you!

When i get dressed i overthink that people will think I am trying too hard to get attention and when I don’t look good and I don’t dress well. I feel like people will think that I don’t deserve to be here and I look ugly, and I always think that people are noticing me, and I just always have this fear and I don’t know what to do, and even when I’m going somewhere, I can’t even do my hair because I would overthink that maybe people will judge me for doing it, and when I don’t do it all day I just be quiet because I think I don’t deserve to talk today.

Also i don’t talk when someone is also there
Like if i am talking to someone and there are only 2
People me and the other person i am okay in talking
But when i see someone else is also listening i think they’ll judge me so i don’t say anything and feel conscious

I do not understand this double standard between everyone claiming they have one of these conditions yet at the same time it still feels hugely stigmatised and get treated differently, especially if the symptoms are more perceivable?

I've noticed that relationships rarely end the day someone says, "It's over."

Most of the time, the emotional distance starts much earlier.

Maybe it's:

Less communication.

No excitement to see you.

Constant excuses.

Feeling like you're the only one trying.

In your opinion...

What's the biggest sign that someone has emotionally left the relationship before the breakup actually happens?

Real experiences are welcome.