u/Additional-Basis-132

I had a friend—well, an ex-friend—who made my life miserable during my 9th and 10th-grade years. We became friends in 9th grade because she didn't know anyone else in the class, so she joined our friend group (ESFP, ISTJ, ISFJ, ESFJ, ISTP, INFP). But as time went on, she acted increasingly weird—displaying the kind of toxic traits associated with an unhealthy ESTJ. She loved to debate and had to be right; if you disagreed, she’d hate you. She despised INFPs and ISTPs, calling them "weird"—everyone knew it, and it really annoyed me. She used to say I was boring and acted like an immature kid with zero emotional intelligence—which wasn't true; I just have a typical ENFP personality. Then came the day we had a falling out: she mocked me over something I’d posted in a group chat. She was laughing at me, which made me angry, so I told her she was unpleasant. I apologized afterward, but she wouldn't hear of it; she started making things up, claiming I’d been a bad influence on her—like saying I didn't know how to speak properly. Honestly, I didn't get it, since I have a good vocabulary—plus, what was the connection? She was trying to pin the blame on me, even though *I* was the victim. After that, she created a group chat—which lasted barely two days—where they called me a "bitch." Then came 10th grade; we changed schools, but of course, she ended up in my class again. She made new friends and told them not to go near me. One day, she started openly criticizing me in front of everyone in a group setting. Okay, this is a total disaster: this girl fits the exact profile of an unhealthy ESTJ, yet—for some reason—she manages to talk to my friends. Now I’m in 11th grade and, naturally, she’s in my class; but the dynamic is flipped—my whole friend group is there, and hers isn't. Of course, she tries to insert herself, and the ESFJ in our group welcomes her warmly. She’s even laughing and chatting with the very people she used to criticize—like the INFPs and ISTPs. Well, I guess that’s not surprising, since she’s a total hypocrite. But why isn't she acting fake with *me*? Probably because she knows I’m onto her—I know pretty much everything about her, given what I’ve just described.
Now I’m wondering what an emotionally intelligent person would do: should I give her yet another chance, or try talking to her? Let me know what you think—feel free to ask me more questions
-ENFP

I’m an ENFP; all my friends think I’m just a funny, charismatic, naive, slightly silly, and cute girl. But deep down, I’m sad. Very sad—with myself and with everything else.
It feels like, in every social interaction, I’m physically present, but whenever I want to talk about what’s weighing on my heart, I can’t manage it; I stutter too much. Even when I want to discuss a complex topic, I struggle. If I try to use words I don’t normally use in everyday life, I stutter. While I’m speaking, a running commentary plays in my head: "Oh no, you just stuttered," or "Darn, you didn't say everything you meant to; you should have phrased that sentence better."
So, what do I do? I act like a child—telling lame jokes, making funny faces, doing silly things just to get a laugh. When I have something sad to share, I say it jokingly, so people think I’m just kidding and not being serious. My friends think I’ve never had any problems because I’m so optimistic and always smiling, but that’s not true; nothing is going right for me.
I also feel like when I say something, no one listens or takes me seriously. Like, literally no one. I cry about it in secret. Plus, I love talking about theories and all my ideas, but others aren't interested; they only want to talk about themselves and always be right, without considering other perspectives.
A lot of people think I have tons of friends—and sure, I do—but at the same time, I feel very lonely. I feel close to people, but they are close to others, too—closer than they are to me. I always play the fool. But then again, there are times when I get a lot of attention—hearing my name called here and there—and I admit I like it; yet, the rest of the time, I speak and nobody cares.
Also, when I say someone is toxic, no one believes me, but when my friends say someone is toxic, everyone starts analyzing that person's behavior. I agree that we should stay away from that person, so why does no one pay attention when *I’m* the one suggesting something?
And yet, sometimes I manage to laugh and have fun with everyone—my close friends included. But I also feel like I’m the one looking out for others, while they don't do the same for me; they just see me as the "smiling girl"—the type who would laugh even if someone cracked an egg on her head.
I don't feel heard.
You know what I do? I film myself practicing public speaking to improve my verbal communication skills.

Coucou les ENFP,
J’aimerais vous posez une question. Comment gérer vous vos émotions sur le moment car moi malheureusement si quelqu’un m’a énerver je vais m’énervé d’une manière pas très sympathique. J’aimerais apprendre à me contrôler, gérer ce que je ressens même si j’ai envie de les refouler sur la personne qui m’a mise en colère. Avez-vous des conseils ?

Salut à tous moi je suis une ENFP et enfaite j’ai l’impression qu’à chaque conversation que j’entame avec des personnes extraverties c’est que j’arrive pas à suivre enfaite…J’ai vraiment l’impression que j’ai pas de sujet de discussion intéressante à partager. J’écoute tout simplement et je réponds sois par ouais ou bien t’as raison mais j’arrive pas à approfondir je sais pas quoi dire…Pourtant j’aimerais bien parler discuter et échanger mais quand je prends la parole surtout quand je réfléchis avant de parler à ce que je vais dire ça prend du temps à venir. Vous voyez les questions comme ques ce que tu fais en ce moment bah je fais plein de choses mais c’est plus du développement personnel comme améliorer mon éloquence, apprendre l’anglais et le russe, être forte en calcul mental, m’y connaître sur les sujets de la politique, psycho, marketing arts, ou bien ma passion pour la mode, mais je pense que beaucoup de personne ne sont pas forcément intéressé par ce que je fais, j’ai envie que les ennemies me voient comme quelqu’un de trop forte comme un château fort indestructible mais avec mes amies ou des gens avec lesquels j’ai envie de devenir plus proche bah j’ai pas envie de leur montrer cette aspect de moi et si je dis ce que je fais comme développement personel bah ils vont trouver sa ennuyeux surement ennuyeux ou bien peut être pas je pense qu’ils vont trouver ça TROP surtout que quand tu dis quelque chose les gens pensent forcément que tu y es forte NON je débute tout simplement par exemple je dis ça mais les sujets que je viens de citer je ne les connais pas encore ça va j’ai encore 3 semaine avant que je commence pour pouvoir m’y connaître. Est ce que discuter de ça avec les gens ça peut être intéressant ? Oui sûrement mais ya pas que ça je vais pas discuter que de ça. Les extraverties ont beaucoup plus d’énergie que les ENFP je trouve alors que selon lés stéréotypes ont en a trop oui mais non en même temps cets compliqué d’expliquer ça. J’aimerais tellement savoir comment bien discuter avec les gens sans que cela sois superficiel et sans parler de ce que je fais des que je suis seule. Enfaite je sais pas si c’est clair même moi je trouve ça bizarre ce que je viens de partager ça fait de moi quelqu’un demotionnellement pas intelligente ? Je pense que j’ai peur que les gens me trouvent ennuyante du coup parfois je fais des choses gênantes pour attirer lattention mais pas avec tout le monde avec des gens dont je m’en fiche de leur avis ou avec mes amies mais avec des gens auquel j’aimerais être plus proche bah je sais pas comment faire hehe

Hi, I’m an ENFP and I have an ESFJ friend who describes herself as hypersensitive. She doesn’t know about MBTI, so I wanted to ask you ESFJs: how does her mind work? How can I tell who she really likes and who she doesn’t? Is it normal for her to badmouth people behind their backs? (She’s done this with her friends before.) If she knows someone has hurt you and you ask her not to hang out with them, will she still keep seeing them occasionally anyway? And does the fact that she’s hypersensitive (meaning hyper-empathetic) really make a difference? It seems like ESFJs are just naturally like that.

Hi, I’m an ENFP and I have an ESFJ friend who describes herself as hypersensitive. She doesn’t know about MBTI, so I wanted to ask you ESFJs: how does her mind work? How can I tell who she genuinely likes and who she doesn’t? Is it normal for her to badmouth people behind their backs? (She’s done it with her friends before.) If she knows someone has hurt you and you ask her not to hang out with them anymore, will she still see them from time to time anyway? And does her being hypersensitive (meaning hyper-empathetic) actually make a difference? It seems like ESFJs are naturally like that.