r/ESTJ

I fear being online is a mistake. My life is so good, im having fun with friends and accomplishing a lot irl. I get interested in this mbti funny business, cause i think the cognitive aspects are cool. Then I go online for discussion, and it just reeks man. I'm glad that theres some nice people! but in general................

Do yall get what i mean. Its kind of expected for the internet but my god is it bad when you say "hey guys im estj"

Cognitively im an estj but i dont fw the stereotype that much cause its so... genuinely outrageous

Do you guys feel the same way? Do people treat you like this? This was a culture shock for me cause i speak the same way i would if i were face to face with someone

My fiancée and I are about to get married. She is having to leave her Job and relocate to be with me. (We were doing long distance) Because she was on a work visa she cannot find another job until the whole process is over. She is having a hard time giving up the job. She is looking for options but the only one would require significant travel and time apart. I explained we will be fine if she does not work. But she mentioned that she feels like she had a plan and wanted to be someone important and travel and do all these things and now her plan has changed. She wants to be with me but is stressed about the money and quitting, especially in this economy. I have tried to comfort her and show her we will be okay financially but she is still having a hard time. I often feel like we are opposites. She wants to be a director and be rich. And I feel like I am a little more grounded and dont need to prove my value or worth to someone. I dont need to be rich, I am not doing bad, but I just dont care about money. How do I help her, or are we really just driven in two different directions for goals? And what questions could I ask to help navigate what shes feeling?

Ok Te is my inferior and maybe that's why I'm turning to you guys to learn how to navigate this lost--ness?

I have been training to take it slow, one step at a time and I can see the shift that happens, but the loop.of the activity gets to me. I take one step today and then I have to take another step again tomorrow and I do build something for myself but then the feedback from the outside world is silent and then doing it all over again is so incredibly hard.

My Fi, damn you Fi sucks me into the void.

Specifically, I am writing a book, and I do social media work and of course I can't get any feedback on the book until.it is published and social media response has been so so feeble makes me question my purpose in life.

I don’t have one. Apparently I’m surrounded by those who do.

I don’t have a little voice that talks/narrates in my head for me.

Do you?

Hey ESTJs!

I'm an ESTP and I want to have an honest conversation with you about something.

Why do you feel the need to enforce structure not just for yourselves but for everyone around you? 😂

Again I ask this with genuine respect because ESTJs are honestly some of the most impressive people I encounter in terms of getting things done. But as an ESTP who lives for spontaneity and flexibility the ESTJ energy can feel incredibly intense sometimes.

Here's what I notice about ESTJs specifically:

You don't just follow rules. You become the rules. There's something almost legendary about how naturally ESTJs step into authority and structure. Where did that come from and does it feel natural or like something you consciously developed?

You have an almost physical reaction when procedures aren't followed. As someone who sees rules as flexible guidelines rather than absolute laws I genuinely want to understand why deviation from procedure feels so wrong to you.

Your confidence in your own systems is unmatched. ESTJs back their methods completely and defend them strongly. How do you stay so certain that your way is the right way?

You get things done in a way most types simply cannot match. The execution ability of an ESTJ is genuinely impressive. But does it frustrate you when others don't match your standards?

Honestly ESTJs I think you're one of the most misunderstood types because people experience your structure as controlling when really you're just trying to make everything work properly.

My questions for ESTJs:

1. Do you find spontaneous types like ESTPs frustrating or interesting?

2. Is enforcing structure something you consciously choose or does it happen naturally?

3. How do you feel when someone finds a better way that breaks your existing system?

4. What do you wish more spontaneous types understood about why structure matters?

5. Deep down do you ever wish you could just be spontaneous sometimes? 😄

Would genuinely love to hear your perspective!

— An ESTP who respects your execution ability even when your structure drives me slightly crazy 😂

Heya! So, I'm writing a story with a highschool setting (Filipino Highschool, if that helps).

I have two main characters, love interests—a female ENTJ and a male ESTJ. The ENTJ is an overachiever, both academically and extracurricular-wise (in the "STE section" for the pinoys that know). The ESTJ is class representative/mayor of his class, is active in extracurriculars, and although doesn't excel much in acads still works hard and gets recognized for his work.

The story is about the ESTJ getting recommended the ENTJ (sorry, i don't know the term for "reto" in english). The plot hasn't full fleshed yet, so for now I just want to know how their dynamic will work. How will they fall in love eventually?

Also a little more details, the ESTJ here is quite charming and the ENTJ, despite being academically intelligent, falls short on simple things like recognizing whether someone is hitting on her or not, lol. I feel like that'd be a very funny detail. My younger sister is like that too (she's an ENTJ) but I am too freaked out to ask her about this.

Any thoughts? Would like to hear from ENTJs and ESTJs who can help me out here. I just think ENTJ x ESTJ would make such an interesting couple in fiction and I'd appreciate your suggestions :)

is it common for ESTJs to be unwilling to change their methods when they dont get the results they want? or more common for an ESTJ to double down on their failing strategy?

I've been into MBTI for a while now, but I still have this existential doubt: I don't know if my dad is an ESTJ, an ESTP, or maybe something else I haven't considered. I know about cognitive functions, but even that hasn't cleared up my doubts. Let's just say he's too relaxed to be an ESTJ, but there are certain things that seem to belong to that type. I just want to know how to identify him without falling into stereotypes.

INFP here with a suspiciously strong theory that ESTJs are my ideal match.

Same cognitive functions. Opposite order.
Which means you guys are basically us if life forced you to touch grass.

So I’m curious:

What actually attracts ESTJs emotionally?
How do you know you trust someone?
And why do half of you act emotionally unavailable but then become aggressively loyal 😭

I wanna understand the ESTJ mind better, so if any ESTJs wanna talk or let me psychoanalyze you for scientific purposes, hi.