r/ESTJ

I'm curious about the similarities that can emerge between INFPs and ESTJs as we mature and become more comfortable with our inferior functions.

As an INFP, I'm undergoing a significant period of growth in my mid-to-late 20s. I've noticed that developing my inferior Te has gradually made me more comfortable with aspects associated with the ESTJ stereotype: being more organized, making decisions based on practical considerations, setting concrete goals, confronting problems directly, and caring more about whether something actually works than about whether it feels right.

At the same time, I don't feel like I've become an ESTJ. It feels more like Te has become a tool I can access without it completely overriding my Fi.

So I'm wondering what the inverse experience has been like for ESTJs.

It seems that it is an uncommon type for ESTJs on here? I know several ISTJ 6s, and one ESTJ 6w5 so/sp, which I found quite fitting but later realized might be much less common than I thought.

If you're an ESTJ 5 or 6 - do you strongly relate to other ESTJs or do you feel like there is a gap? Or perhaps that others mistype you or perceive you differently at first? Please share your experiences.

Hey everyone! I'm currently doing a research proposal about personality theory and would love to hear from the people in this community. What is it like being your personality type? It can range from your work/school life balance, romantic life, everyday decision making, and maybe something nobody really thinks about when it comes to your type that you may know. Anything is both helpful and interesting to me so don't be shy! :)

So the ESTJ who dumped me several months ago over the phone after a multi-year relationship is back.

She says via text: "It was never my intention that our phone conversation (where she broke up with me) would be the last time we talked. But one day became months, and here we are. I wanted to explain "my process" in getting to that decision to you."

How charitable.

ESTJs seem to like to be definitive in one conversation leaving no wiggle room and then, somehow, always have some additional explanation that they couldn't seem to bring up during the first conversation.

My instinct is to tell her to pound sand and to live witrh the consequences of her actions. I have zero sense she wants to get back together and only wants to bring some kind of closure for herself since it is yet another ESTJ "process."

Anyone want to chime in as to whether there's any value in hearing her out?

I think I'll stick with the pound sand option unless I get some serious rationale to do otherwise.

Agree or disagree as an ESTJ?

My aunt is textbook estj, while i appreciate her bluntness for info etc, it can be too much. The problem is that her talking is more like ranting for herself. For example when shes talking about "hey our economy is in ruin you should invest in gold etc etc" which i agree with and immediately look for place to safely buy it so i want to steer the convo that way, she just... kept talking about herself and fearmongering me.

Like, ik you guys value logical thinking so i dont want her to stop talking to me but sometimes she's too focused on the problem and her own experiences ("things will get worse, luckily i had gold to sell for my abroad vacation..." she said to me, who never had gold nor abroad vacation and lowkey in perpetual worrying about my employment.), it can be too much. But the more i actively reply to her, the more her topics makes me sad. While i dont have diagnosis, im not the most mentally stable person able, i tend to break and unproductively depressed when fearmongered too much (even if the fear is real). I dont want offend her by bluntly telling her that "hey, i get that you want to vent and be validated, but can we take turn? Can i talk about solving the problem in more hopeful way?"

Idk, tldr, how to politely change topic into more hopeful when talking to (or being talked by) estj? I'd love to solve problems by making actionable steps rather than dwelling on how dangerous and worrying everything is (even if its true, getting depressed about it will only make me unproductive)

Idk i feel like estjs i know love to make sure we're as worry as them, is this estj thing? Idk, i had just recovered from my mental slump and be productive again i dont want to get depressed again from their talk. Help.