u/Responsible-Hat2456

i need urgent advice... an unhealthy esfj pulled my friends bag out from underneath the toilet cubicle she was in with her clique, n threw it back over the door and it hurt my friend

for context me n my friend r quiet people who are amazing at our work and stand up for wrongdoings so we havent been mean to her before

i shouted at esfj to stop this nonsense n she responds by copying everything i do ?? she has started acting exactly like me (intj)... suggesting changes n leading things to feel powerful... not because she cares..

i heard she called me a pick me behind my back...

reporting has not helped...

too many conflicts and relationships issue with almost everyone I know in the past few months.. partly my poor Fe and being unable to not step on their insecurities

networking is crucial. idk whether the rate at which im losing people is a tragedy or comedy at this point...

ESTP friend throws mean comments at you indirectly for no reason. i stayed quiet and low key let him bully me to avoid fights as a kid. he won't even say hi back. he'll look around, pretend he didnt hear you to avoid saying hi but then will say something silly about some other thing instead. We went to school together and family friends so have to keep the friendship.

this time i met him, he'd matured a lot, said he'd gone through loads. So it was nice. Until I said something about my job that really irked him because he's currently unemployed. He replied by knocking me down a peg and saying oh oh X also got a job here, Y also got a job there. I mentally noted it but stayed quiet. A while later I said something about how some people arent used to working long days which offended him so much because he thought i was taunting him but i really didnt mean it and didnt think how it would come across. his old self came back, started verbally abusing me indirectly for the whole week. I don't back down like i used to with him and did the same back making him lock him in a room and cry. Ive never seen this side before.

he thinks i dont feel guilty at all and thinks im a manipulator when ive always wished this guy the best... idk how to undo this mess ? How should i apologise and when ?

do u get depressed imagining ur friends n colleagues moving on in their lives... succeeding... starting families n with lots of friends, while u r sat alone... on the same desk miserable n not moving forward... maybe with just more knowledge n awareness that u hv no one to share with...?

i stupidly shared my ideas.. problem solving skills, jokes, creativity, knowledge, predictions with ppl around me when i didnt know i was intj... n thought everyone else does what i do easily too... i was so wrong

all this time they were hating me for it n i didnt know... they all started to be local problem solvers too lol... suggesting ideas n walking around like they owned the place...

why did i overshare man... i just created more intjs by mitosis

the days r all at home away from all the fun ... work is what kept me going but what use is it just admiring ur own creations ...

being isolated from the world makes it harder to engage with it when u decide to jump back in... even projects n my ideas r resentment inducing when real world feedback hits n theres some new trend i wasnt aware of...

r we under wrong impression that our work n contributions r more valuable than others' in reality... maybe its only my wish..

ppl use great n hard working for intjs.. other types get excellent, outstanding, irreplaceable bla bla bla.. intjs get participation award from most ppl... other types try little n still get genuinely appraised...

dont get whats going on sometimes...

Short transcript with my gaslighting enemies:

INFJ aiming at me: Sense... not even common sense.. just sense. That's the thing some people don't have

Me: *5 mins later when question was someone the world should forget*

Hitler. Obsessed with people issues with no SENSORY skills to be anything else in his life. Any self-proclaimed peacemaker.. they set out to do good but only r capable of violence... n someone needs to teach them details to do life properly

INFJ: *shuffles uncomfortably gulps n goes red....*

he is also Ni-Se... whys he slandering himself

why we have Fi child but intjs r morally disappointing ??

we r nice ppl but when theres a trigger we cld definitely handle it better... intjs become evil over trivial reasons.... n surrender or give up when they actually need to be evil for bigger reasons ironically

was thinking abt my behavior....morality is more complex... n am feeling guilty abt how i handled past things even if i was in the right

my own friends r advising i reach higher stages of friendship with at least somebody so i can ask them for help if i need...they said i am not invinciible but i act like it ...

they r right.. but i cant do it... deeper bonds with people r impossible to form... am seeing how its a big disadvantage in life... does it hold u back too

every esfj man i've seen so far is bald and has a round face

i can solve a problem... but not with very best solution. its above average but not a full solution...

how can we better our problem solving abilities... we r known to be problem solvers but i see other N types doing that role better than us... what is our secret sauce...

ppl r generous n appreciate good solutions. that cover all bases.. a lot of times we r are own reason why we get underrated

if u cut off everyone around u for their abusive behaviours... most are indirect taunts .. or gaslighting is the word .. are you the problem?

did u're family take intj workaholic nature for granted? im the family slave. my brothers n sisters r troublemakers but my family.. they let them enjoy their life... my mother told me i was the biggest mistake of her life... hoped they didnt mean it.. after giving them so much

my worth otoh is only what value i can bring the family.. bragging rights... money... materialistic things... n im also seen as mental... even when am right.. when i stop providing my value falls..

hv u also noticed when others hv the smallest issue like a tiny scratch... everybody treats them like theyre having a baby or something... when we r down, we never make a big deal of it... because we r used to no one caring... n we just cope ourselves..

i started saying no... n some family cut off imediately

life wasnt bad till stepping out n reading about mbti at the same time.. all the types n seeing how life treats them in practice.. living with roommates has shown me how easy all other ppl's lives are. Any problem they have is because of their own choices or irresponsible ness. Not because the world inflicted it onto them... n when they try a little they actually get further than us intjs sometimes...

whereas all intjs struggles r mostly becuse of obstacles in the outer world .. what do u think??

the more i analyse... we had one life man... is intj female even worth it...

I scratched a girl's hand when playing basketball back in school by mistake ... who was being mean to me with her friends in lessons n outside... like cliquey behaviour...

she was all in your face n getting me to take the bait... had a verbal spat... became really aggressive with my playing.. snatched the ball and scored. i think she fell behind me.. she stumbled n everyone went up to her n asked if shes ok... i just stood by the side looking elsewhere... she had blood in her mouth becus she hurt her mouth

she looked like about to cry n i couldnt care less...i high fived some team members... but noticed they all were concerned abt her instead... but everyone knew shes mean person...

then other fell n i went up to them, took care of them and made a huge fuss on purpose to make the girl feel irrelevant... like i dont care about u but i do abt others...

i made it awkward n everyone went quiet...even though im the one who was wronged first... ppl take bullys side.. nobody likes anybody who can defend...did i handle this wrong... this happens too much.. i look strong n ppl gravitate towards the dramatic person..

i went to the changing rooms n cried n told my friends i'd be late to next class ... i dont want to be mean but i cant help it in the moment... but i feel bad later

Do you actually read people/their feelings in live time?

Or does Ni pattern recognition determine where you've seen that type of person before? And then its as if opening a file with all the predicted emotions, actions of that person. So it's cheating kind of

my -sfj family critising intj cousin abt her everything...how shes mental weird n psychotic becuse she speaks weird... she is only one who has bought her own house.. carved her own path... compared to these dependent ones

not envy...they just think she is abnormal.. i asked why n they said becase they all went out shopping once n she bought a skirt w/t asking anybody else if they want buy too... i said what ?? maybe she assumed u can buy if u want without her babying u... they r good ppl.. which is shocking to me. not jealous types ... they just hate her

i overheard them saying she has no friends.. nobody to help her when she got autoimmune flare n admitted so she must be the problem... n saddest thing they said was ... she deserves it...

intj did some questionable things.. angry at someone for suggesting a name for her baby daughter she didnt like... could be polite but she exploded

is this even social skills or we think too logically for most n no one will get it ever...?

when ppl make me angry i go ice cold.. start telling them their flaws through endless taunts n how immoral they r.

i cant help myself... and do not care that i make enemies

whats a better way to handle this

ts so damn difficult keeping friends. friends gaslight me too much.. call me names...bad person. i should just ignore, keep relationships?? that's advice i've been given. sometimes jealousy... sometimes their insecurity..

i've never felt lower about myself. im giving... through my actions. I am also kind gentle careful with words. other people r excused for no reasons... so many bad comments, actions.. but i don't do anything n still i become a villain? I never like to cut off people.. but they set out to destroy me... noone communicates issues with me directly. They start doing a indirect manipulative thing. I can't stand it and i cut them out becos of that. not because am petty.

it looks like im the problem but i tolerate so much that no one even sees or appreciates... i feel really sad today... im not a bad person. but so many people think i am. when i hvnt even spent enough time in the real world to become bad