u/Downtown_Way_7710

I'm (45f) coming up to 8 years married to my husband(45m). Dead bedroom. We average maybe once a year at this point.

Husband seems very far behind in emotional maturity. He is not able to work through problems calmly or do any kind of self reflection. He likes to stay very surface level in our interactions, while I crave depth. This has made me lose attraction. He also has never been one to initiate sex. After getting pregnant with our daughter, it pretty much died out. He has not initiated once in the 6 years since. We also sleep in separate rooms.

I do love him. I love our daughter together. He is a good dad to her. We have history. Its just not that fulfilling on many personal levels with him. We have some different values that seem to be opposing.

For years I have been telling him about my attraction to women. I have pleaded that I can explore this side with his blessing. The request just makes him angry and he refuses to talk about it. For the most part I can't really share my inner world with him

I can’t leave him. My daughter is young and financially it would be a struggle. I was a single mom before him, and it was a very difficult time for me. Perhaps I will leave when my daughter is older.

I just started working again last year. I finally just got a job a few month's ago where I am tecniqually making enough to support myself, although it feels as we are stuck together as we have made bad financial decisions, have no savings, and are tied together In a lot of debt.

Every once in a while I get a glimmer of hope with him, like maybe we will be ok, but nothing really changes. Sometimes I don't even think about the fact that we don't have intimacy.

I don't really have anyone to talk to. The few people closest to me are aware that I have been interested in women throughout my life, but for the most part its hidden. 2 separate close friends previously told me it was just a phase. I don't know why they didn't believe me, but it made me doubt myself.

I have had crushes on women at my jobs through the last few years. I never act on it or make it known. I just daydream what it would be like. How it would feel to finally be truly intimate with someone. How fun it would be to feel joyful around a partner.

Honestly I am just lonely and wish I had people I could talk to. I used to have friends before this but mostly I am isolated at home now. We also moved away from my family.

Would love to find people to chat too that understand what I'm going through or can relate. I'm tired of struggling through this life alone.

I am a new employee (4 months today). When I got hired we had an acting OM who had me fill out the paper work for benefits and optional life insurance for myself and my spouse, and I assumed she would take care of it, but it looks like it never got processed. The regular OM is back and I asked how to access my benefits now that I've crossed 3 months, and she came in and just showed me how to enroll on TALM. I was under the impression when I filled out the paperwork that was enough, but apparently nothing was actually entered into TALM. I also had issues with TALM when I started and couldn't access it for almost 2 months, so the AOM would do my time sheet for me.

Is it too late now to access life insurance for my partner? Is there someone I can call?

Also when she was walking me through the enrollment for benefits, she had me add my husband and then press submit, which submitted my application and made it uneditable, so now I am unable to add my children. Will I be able to add them as I was hoping to start accessing counseling for one of them who had a mental health crisis recently.

TYIA