I sometimes fantasize about being with men sexually when I watch straight porn if I like the guy’s face, vibe, voice, movements in penetration I will fantasize about him penetrating me and get crushes but I am not sure.
Hey everyone, my friend and I have started a new sub for lesbians called r/shetheysupergay.
Our idea is to create a cozy and low-angst safe space for lesbian women (cis and trans) to share, discuss, and celebrate our lives.
We would like to build a community that centres womanhood, so non-women participation is not welcome.
Additionally, we are not seeking to replace other subs for lesbians, but rather exist as a corner of Reddit where we can come to chill and relax away from issues that agitate us too much. While venting, complaining, and seeking validation are all valid activities to partake in, we are hoping our new sub can offer a refuge away from those kinds of interactions.
So we hope you can come on over and make yourselves comfortable. We invite posts on anything you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. These could be cool stuff you notice on your way to work, your latest art project, your new yoga routine, yummy recipes, your favourite book or TV show, and whatever else brings a smile to your face.
See you there!
Edit: enby people have been removed from the text as it is causing much too many issues to try to word it inclusively, unfortunately. It’s a cozy chill space we want to create.
É isso, a esmagadora maioria das pessoas que postam aqui não são de fato lésbicas. Não existe lésbica que gostou do sexo com homens ou que já sentiu atração por homens, lésbicas se atraem exclusivamente por pessoas do mesmo sexo, só se atraem por mulheres. É um desrespeito usar o rótulo de forma indiscriminada da forma como o povo desse sub usa. Já li postagens aqui de "lésbicas" que descrevem o sexo com homens de uma forma mais explícita do que as próprias mulheres heterossexuais. É apenas aceitar a realidade dos fatos. E sim, eu acredito que uma pequena parcela de mulheres podem se descobrir lésbicas depois de um tempo, mas a esmagadora maioria das pessoas que descobrem atração por pessoas do mesmo sexo depois de anos dormindo com homens são na vdd bissexuais e ponto.
I'm like, 98% sure I'm a lesbian. I'm married to a man (for almost 9 years) whom I love dearly. We've had a fulfilling sexual relationship but I've always been lacking some emotional intimacy/depth. I've been trying to find the root cause of this for years like a dog with a bone. My husband is a very sweet man but depressed and so I for many years thought his depression was keeping us apart. He is finally on meds that are working and....I don't know if that was the problem. We have two young kids together so I'm not trying to race out the door. I'm just trying to focus on myself right now.
We've had an open marriage before (before kids) and I think I thought that I would be fulfilled enough in motherhood to not miss/want a girlfriend. I had a pretty serious girlfriend in covid who lived with us. At the time, she wanted to be our third and my husband really didn't get along with her well so it caused a lot of tension and I think for me covered up the fact that things with her felt....different. Easy? I don't even know how to explain it. Anyway, I've realized I really really miss connecting with a woman in a romantic/sexual context so I've been given the green light to put out feelers. I don't know what I'm doing and all I do all the time is basically get horny about women and giggle and then feel guilty. What am I doing? Am I crazy here? Am I just bisexual and trying to run away from my relationship because it's been in a hard spot for a year? Ugh, help!
I feel like I’ll be a burden as a baby gay when it comes to dating; I feel I’ve heard people complaining not wanting to deal with the hassle of having to be someone’s first gay partner or if they’re really gay that they’re just experimenting. How do people go about navigating this?
I'm in the process of discovering that I'm (most likely) a lesbian. Here's a list of things that I didn't realize were very clear signs:
- having to actively force myself not to stare at the other girls in the locker rooms in middle school
- I thought that it was universally understood that women's bodies were more appealing than men's and that penises were ugly. I didn't realize that there were women who didn't feel that way until I was 15.
- skipping porn scenes that showed penises and eventually only watching solo female porn
*Sidenote: when I learned what bukkake is I gagged and almost threw up**
- literally kissing women lol. I kissed another girl in the playground firetruck in Pre-K and just kept doing that randomly through my whole life somehow thinking it didn't mean anything.
- most of my friends being lgbt growing up
- being nervous around attractive women
- eventually not being able to get wet (most of the time) within every heterosexual relationship I've ever been in unless thinking about women.
hi! im a 19F college student. i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a year and a half now, and he is my everything; he is genuinely a wonderful boyfriend and such a kind person in a sea of terrible men. my family loves him and he’s always supported me, especially my first year of college where i was completely depressed and miserable. he’s genuinely my best friend and he saved my life in multiple ways. weve been the “gold standard” relationship example for all my friends
but although the emotional connection is perfect, the physical stuff has never clicked right for me. for awhile i thought i wasn’t attracted to him/didn’t want sex because of my depression and chronic pain issues. but now that im taking medications that help, i still have no interest in physical connection with him at all. he’s very understanding and he never pushes it onto me, but i can see how it hurts them when i dont initiate anything ever. however, i dont think im asexual or anything, i think i just only like the idea of being with a woman (dicks gross me out so bad). it’s not like i don’t love him, because i do with my whole heart. it just doesn’t feel like romantic attractio.
its hard. i know im so young and it’s only my second year college, but hes just been a huge part of my life and i feel so evil for even thinking about breaking up with him. i dont even know how im supposed to tell my family that im gay. i also go to an SEC school in the south, so its not like there are that many women looking to date other girls, which is fine because i dont mind being alone, but that jsut makes it harder.
thanks for listening
Hi all! I am a 31 yr old who does not know how to make friends! I have had the same best friend for over 15 years but i think my coming out may be the beginning of the end. Before this i knew i wanted to branch out and make friends but now i know i need to. I love in a very small town but short distance from a college town. What would you recommend to help me start?? Or any app recommendations for JUST FRIENDS! I am not ready for anything currently. 🖤🖤
I’ve gone on three dates with the same woman. (She’s always been a lesbian and I have only recently come out after divorcing my husband of nearly 20 years).
On the first date with this woman, we had a good time and kissed a bit but the kiss was quite underwhelming. I really liked her and found her very attractive but thought maybe the chemistry between us just wasn’t a match.
Despite that, we arranged to meet for another date. On that date, I got a strong friend vibe coming off of her, and we just talked about life and general things. I was quite surprised when she asked me out for another date, but I said yes because I thought, if nothing less, maybe I’ll gain a new friend.
The third date was going well but I was still thinking maybe she just liked me as a friend. Although, at one point she did massage my shoulders and touch me every now and again, but I felt like I couldn’t read her very well.
But then, all of a sudden she kissed me - and it was sooo good and we were properly making out and getting so out of breath and really into each other. I’ve been thinking about her every since and feeling all thingly and honestly just want to explore… her! and move things to the next level. She invited me over to her house for dinner and drinks. Do we think this means she has similar ideas as me?
I feel so clueless and out of my depth. Having dated men, I feel like they are so much easier and like I never cared that much about what they thought, or how I came across - but now I care so much and the level of intimacy feels quite daunting. Like I can’t hide behind the mask I was so used to wearing.
I don’t want to play games, but I suppose I want to protect myself too because I feel like I could really like her.
for context, i (20f) have always known ive liked women. i’ve just identified as queer for years because i didn’t think i really cared too much about gender when it came to dating.
anyways, my bf and i have been kind of on and off for about 3 years and we are long distance. i do love him a ton but recently ive found myself genuinely yearning for a wlw relationship and wishing my bf and i had never been anything more than good friends. i think i still kind of see him as a friend most times. i don’t exactly enjoy sex or even sexual banter with him. (sometimes i feel a little disgusted when he brings it up) and when i picture my future im either single or with a woman.. ive never been able to really picture myself being with a man forever. ive never really felt as deeply for men as i do women.
i feel like the right/obvious thing to do is to break up with him but i don’t really know how to go about explaining it to him or how to handle it afterwards. i would really hate to lose him as a friend and i don’t think he’d be very fond of the idea. i don’t want him to think i never really loved him or something.
im not sure what to do.
Let's face it, being married to a man while you are attracted to women is hard. Really hard. Some days the desire to be with a woman is extremely hard to ignore. I feel like there's this voice in the back of my mind constantly trying to tempt me. My husband is a very religious and conservative man. Most of the time when I try to open up about my struggles he either becomes impatient or preachy about it or just doesn't understand it. Usually I keep my struggles to myself. I'm just wondering (for those of you here in a relationship with a man) how often do you talk to him about how you're really feeling? Or do you mostly just keep it to yourself instead? Is it even appropriate to burden him with thoughts like this? How do you deal with the nagging little voice of temptation?
So I found this reddit a day ago, I've been struggling with my sexual identity ever since I hit adulthood.. I grew up Christian and always felt it was perfectly okay for others to love whoever they loved but not for me to be attracted to women bc I "shouldn't be". Anyways long story short: I've kept my husband in the loop on all of the conflicting feelings since day one and just half an hour ago I came out to him as lesbian. I've never been with a woman before but I don't believe that really factors in to validating it. It was so hard to come out to myself and I'm still accepting it but I told him. We've discussed how the thought of it scares me bc what would happen to him & I "if I am lesbian" and what would happen to our kids, how would they handle it (2 under 3yrs). He assured me then and reassured me now that we'll still be friends no matter what & that if we stayed together not feeling fulfilled in our relationship that it'd be more harmful to our kids than splitting (which I'm sure he's right). I feel like an imposter, like lesbian still somehow isn't the right label but deep down I know it is; I've been "bi" & I've been "polysexual" but those didn't feel right but at the time they did, I think because the aspect of still being attracted to a man was there. When I came out as bi to my mom she had told me right off the bat,"Well, I'm glad you're with a man." and has since treated me straight. I'm getting off topic, basically part of what makes it scary is because I know it won't ever be fully accepted by my family but I know my husband will be there for me even when we're not together. We've come up with a game plan of going forward how our situation will be since we have kids, a shared car, and just bought a first house for either of us. My timing is such shit but it's not like you can rush self discovery. I guess this is more rant and wanting to be validated that others have felt this way and like "what if I change my mind about being fully lesbian?" I think that's just the familiar comfort of being with a man speaking but I'm just so confused and scared and I don't want everything to change. I know I love & care for my husband still but I know now that it wasn't romantically. Idk if my rant even makes sense rn bc I have like a billion things bouncing around my mind at once so hopefully this all makes sense. Thanks for reading ♥️
I have to give some credit to the men I’ve dated. In my 37 straight years I’ve never had a man commenting on the looks of my vagina. Never did I think about it, or did i consider it being a bit different from other vaginas.
The 2 women I’ve dated though, both subtly and playfully let me know that I’m more of a 🦃 than a 🐓😭 (Edit for clarification: it’s about the difference between the wattles of a Turkey vs those of a chicken) At first I found it rather funny, but after another comment about it yesterday, it bothers me a bit, I don’t want to become self-aware about my pussy, which I stil think is perfectly normal and pretty!
It’s not only the comments of course but the close-up confrontations make comparison inevitable as well 😆
I just wanted to vent I guess. I don’t like the vagina talk.
So, I was at a dinner with a group of queer women I met through an activity we do together. They are all much younger than me, all in their 20s, one of them might be early 30s. I just turned 46. They were talking about movies and things they grew up with and it was a pleasant conversation, but I feel so out of place during these kinds of interactions. I grew up Catholic, left the church, but moved far away and was in an abusive monogamous relationship for 15 years.
They were having a great time and they were all sharing their "gay awakening" experience. Like a movie they watched where they saw a character and they just knew. It came to my turn and I was a little thrown off because I don't have a situation like that. I didn't want to ruin the evening by saying something like, "well, I didn't know I was bisexual until I finally divorced my abusive husband and had a lot of therapy and realized that some of my past experiences were repressed homophobia. I was able to reap the benefits of being a straight cis-woman in a comphet marriage until I escaped. Lol.
What do you say in a conversation like that? Like, there was no sweet coming to realization moment, I didn't "know since I was a teenager," or have a moment when I wanted to kiss my best friend. I was so terrified of going to hell that I wouldn't even consider the idea and then I was in a relationship that I was trying to survive by figuring out why I didn't want to have sex with him amongst other things.
Even now, am I a lesbian, am I bi? I'm not straight, that's for sure. Thinking about being with a man makes me want to barf, but is that because of my experience or because I actually am not attracted to them.
I don't think there's any advice I need really, it is just tough sometimes because sometimes I feel like I don't belong. It feels so weird to have skipped the part where I thought about this at all when I was younger. It literally was never even an option until I realized it was. And then I was like, oh.
I think the other part that bothers me, and this is something for me to think about for myself is that in every other way I am very confident. I can take care of anything in my home, be an excellent friend, I'm taking classes, kicking butt in my business, but ask me when my gay awakening was? That makes me want to cry. Maybe it's because it would have been nice to have one, but I don't even know if that is something to be jealous about, lol. Maybe I'm just sad that I didn't get to know myself, really. I have had a whole complete life already as what I thought was a straight woman.
l've been seeing this girl who's a lesbian and has been with 5 girls. She's a masc and loves everything about women. I recently (past year have realized that i'm bisexual. Me and this girl have developed feelings for eachother and she told me she loves me. Today she let me go down on her for the first time.
Shes not a touch-me-not, but i'm literally so scared and intimidated. I ate her out and fingered her at the same time but she's so quiet i can't figure out what she likes.
Everyone says "pay attention to the body language" but i literally couldn't tell. I was sucking and licking at the same time and using 2 fingers and doing the "come here" she kinda sounded like she enjoyed it but she certainly didn't come close to cumming. After we finished, i asked her how she thinks i did, and she's very sweet and reassuring and just said "you did good baby" but i think she would genuinely rather run over her own foot than hurt my feelings even if i actually did a bad job.
I asked her to communicate more so i can please her. She said she likes it "hard and fast." but to me that means so many things. just straight fingers going in and out? Or is it the "come here" motion more aggressively? IDK!!
I feel so discouraged as it was my first time going down on a woman and i feel like i didn't please her. It's making me scared to try again.
Hey, ladies! I feel like I’m at a crossroads when it comes to putting myself out there.
I’m a lesbian(24F) and I have spent a lot of my life not really allowing myself to explore that part of me. Now that I’m finally at a point where I feel ready to date women, I’m realizing I have absolutely NO idea how to navigate it without feeling like a poser😭. I also have a 3 y/o, which sometimes makes me wonder if other lesbians will take me seriously or question my sexuality. Just to add, I’m not ashamed of being a mom at all! But I’ve been so focused on that for so long that dating women feels like stepping into an entirely new world. And, unfortunately, I’ve experienced some biphobia in the past simply for my past relations with men, regardless of if I identify as lesbian now.
So, for my fellow late bloomers: how did you start dating women without feeling like a poser?
It took me a lot of courage to come out... 24 and female..dated a guy for years.. and I was together with this girl for 8 months, and now she's telling me she's straight because she felt this frustration with me that went away once she met a guy :( I dont know what to do or if I'll meet a girl who loves me for my body as well.. I just wish it was her :(
As a late bloomer in her 40s, where and how do I go about practicing flirting? There’s a lot of comp het/shame I’ve had to work through and I’d like to work on connecting with other women 😄 Any ideas?
Reasons why I think I am:
\- the female body has aroused by since I was a child
\- I connect better with women
\- always mostly watched lesbian porn
\- I never really had super much interest in men as a teenager growing up (I did as a kid ) it was mostly just women even though I remember kissing a guy at 13 and I got butterflies.
\-Reasons I am confused and unsure:
\- I sometimes get flustered, giggly, have butterflies around guy and get thoughts about what if we making out right now or were laying in bed spooning and they feel nice. Happened with one of my guy friends recently who got more masculine (beard)
\- I get so giggly watching male actors in tv series like their romance scenes replaying them watching them and feel some sort of butterflies in my stomach and heart. Like John sterling in Bridgerton his voice, energy , height and face is so hot to me .
\- I was watching an dating experiment program and I found the guy cute and when he said he was horny I got that whoosh feeling under my belly
\-most of the times when I am horny it is women, but I noticed that I also sometimes masturbate to the guy in straight porn like I get turned on by his face in pleasure , how he uses his body in penetration , body hair, penis, thrusts, energy, moans, and forget the woman, imagine I am her when he thrust and that makes me horny. Like penis visually in penetration makes me horny- strapon don’t at all.
\- I was on a date with a guy when I was figuring things out and he told my hand and my heart start to beat faster and I liked flirting with him and him having his arm around me felt so bubbly like I could just sink in to his embrace and relax.(we were only on one date)
I’m 22 and was raped four months ago. I’m in counseling and have been consistently working through everything. Recently, I met a girl online who makes me really happy, and I’m struggling to understand what my feelings mean.
I’ve been with 40+ men and experienced multiple assaults, but I continued wanting relationships with men afterward. Until recently, I’d never really been sexually interested in women. With this girl, though, I feel both emotionally and sexually attracted to her. I really like her and feel safe talking to her, but we’ve never actually met in person. has anyone ever felt like this and it worked in their favor
I also grew up in a very Southern Baptist community, and my parents have always told my sister and me that dating a woman would break their hearts. Because of that, I feel a lot of shame and fear around these feelings.
She’s coming to visit me in September and driving five hours to spend five days with me, which is exciting but also terrifying.
I’m not looking for a label. I’d love to hear from women who have experienced something similar and how they figured out the difference between trauma, feeling safe with someone, and genuine attraction