Just came out to my husband
So I found this reddit a day ago, I've been struggling with my sexual identity ever since I hit adulthood.. I grew up Christian and always felt it was perfectly okay for others to love whoever they loved but not for me to be attracted to women bc I "shouldn't be". Anyways long story short: I've kept my husband in the loop on all of the conflicting feelings since day one and just half an hour ago I came out to him as lesbian. I've never been with a woman before but I don't believe that really factors in to validating it. It was so hard to come out to myself and I'm still accepting it but I told him. We've discussed how the thought of it scares me bc what would happen to him & I "if I am lesbian" and what would happen to our kids, how would they handle it (2 under 3yrs). He assured me then and reassured me now that we'll still be friends no matter what & that if we stayed together not feeling fulfilled in our relationship that it'd be more harmful to our kids than splitting (which I'm sure he's right). I feel like an imposter, like lesbian still somehow isn't the right label but deep down I know it is; I've been "bi" & I've been "polysexual" but those didn't feel right but at the time they did, I think because the aspect of still being attracted to a man was there. When I came out as bi to my mom she had told me right off the bat,"Well, I'm glad you're with a man." and has since treated me straight. I'm getting off topic, basically part of what makes it scary is because I know it won't ever be fully accepted by my family but I know my husband will be there for me even when we're not together. We've come up with a game plan of going forward how our situation will be since we have kids, a shared car, and just bought a first house for either of us. My timing is such shit but it's not like you can rush self discovery. I guess this is more rant and wanting to be validated that others have felt this way and like "what if I change my mind about being fully lesbian?" I think that's just the familiar comfort of being with a man speaking but I'm just so confused and scared and I don't want everything to change. I know I love & care for my husband still but I know now that it wasn't romantically. Idk if my rant even makes sense rn bc I have like a billion things bouncing around my mind at once so hopefully this all makes sense. Thanks for reading ♥️