i think i’m a lesbian and i don’t know what to do (currently dating a man)
hi! im a 19F college student. i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a year and a half now, and he is my everything; he is genuinely a wonderful boyfriend and such a kind person in a sea of terrible men. my family loves him and he’s always supported me, especially my first year of college where i was completely depressed and miserable. he’s genuinely my best friend and he saved my life in multiple ways. weve been the “gold standard” relationship example for all my friends
but although the emotional connection is perfect, the physical stuff has never clicked right for me. for awhile i thought i wasn’t attracted to him/didn’t want sex because of my depression and chronic pain issues. but now that im taking medications that help, i still have no interest in physical connection with him at all. he’s very understanding and he never pushes it onto me, but i can see how it hurts them when i dont initiate anything ever. however, i dont think im asexual or anything, i think i just only like the idea of being with a woman (dicks gross me out so bad). it’s not like i don’t love him, because i do with my whole heart. it just doesn’t feel like romantic attractio.
its hard. i know im so young and it’s only my second year college, but hes just been a huge part of my life and i feel so evil for even thinking about breaking up with him. i dont even know how im supposed to tell my family that im gay. i also go to an SEC school in the south, so its not like there are that many women looking to date other girls, which is fine because i dont mind being alone, but that jsut makes it harder.
thanks for listening