u/thefuzzinsidemybrain

I’ve gone on three dates with the same woman. (She’s always been a lesbian and I have only recently come out after divorcing my husband of nearly 20 years).

On the first date with this woman, we had a good time and kissed a bit but the kiss was quite underwhelming. I really liked her and found her very attractive but thought maybe the chemistry between us just wasn’t a match.

Despite that, we arranged to meet for another date. On that date, I got a strong friend vibe coming off of her, and we just talked about life and general things. I was quite surprised when she asked me out for another date, but I said yes because I thought, if nothing less, maybe I’ll gain a new friend.

The third date was going well but I was still thinking maybe she just liked me as a friend. Although, at one point she did massage my shoulders and touch me every now and again, but I felt like I couldn’t read her very well.

But then, all of a sudden she kissed me - and it was sooo good and we were properly making out and getting so out of breath and really into each other. I’ve been thinking about her every since and feeling all thingly and honestly just want to explore… her! and move things to the next level. She invited me over to her house for dinner and drinks. Do we think this means she has similar ideas as me?

I feel so clueless and out of my depth. Having dated men, I feel like they are so much easier and like I never cared that much about what they thought, or how I came across - but now I care so much and the level of intimacy feels quite daunting. Like I can’t hide behind the mask I was so used to wearing.

I don’t want to play games, but I suppose I want to protect myself too because I feel like I could really like her.

Ok so I went on my first date with a woman. She was stunningly beautiful and we had quite a lot in common. As the date progressed, I started finding her more and more attractive and I started to feel increasingly shy and awkward. At one point I kissed her (I only realised afterwards that maybe I should’ve asked her if it was ok before doing it??) She kissed me back but it wasn’t earth-shattering or anything.

We talked more, about very personal things too. She was quite touchy feely, but I just felt shy and awkward - but I REALLY found her so attractive and sexy and I felt tingles and would have loved to kiss her more. When we said goodbye, she just kissed me on the cheek but she did invite me for a second date - to which I stupidly just said… ”thank you!” like…. what?? Why would I say that??

I’m now wondering if my shyness was off-putting - and if her not kissing me goodbye on the lips means I’ve been friendzoned.

how should I proceed? Any advice? Also: on a first date at a public place, do you go to the toilet at the same time or separately? 😆

Six months ago I was wondering how on earth I could tell my husband of nearly 20 years that our relationship is over. I’d been questioning my sexuality/feeling increasingly a pull toward women, but our marriage had been over long before that. I finally plucked up the courage to tell him we should get a divorce. Fast-forward to today, six months later: I’m divorced and going on my first date with a woman tomorrow! I’m so excited and feel like I’ve come a long way in a short space of time. Last year I couldn’t have imagined being where I am today. I feel giggly and nervous like a school girl!