u/Downtown_Win3468

are we really breaking up?
I have never written in here, but i don’t know what else to do. My boy and I have been together for a year and a half exactly. I tend to freak out and get mad very easily for dumb stuff, and my bf has always stayed with me. More than a month ago we had an argument about this, he told me next time i do something or behave like that, he would have to break up w me, because he feels really bad when i do it. I get that a lot, so i agreed, and we have been really good, until last Wednesday. I was on a very important test in college, and suddenly, lots of notifications started popping in on my phone, they were from TikTok, but from his chat directly. I first just laughed it off, but then, some messages were very weird, like freaky, saying almost gay stuff, and i freaked out, i called him and of course, he told me he had no idea what that was. I hung up because i was, again, in the middle of a test, and then i sent him an audio saying that i didn’t know what weird shit he was into, but fuck him. Then, i called him again when i was less stressed out and asked him what that was. he told me that what was my issue and hung up. I tried to apologize in every way possible, i told him i would get help, psychological help, and he said that why didn’t i do that earlier, when i promised i would change. I get that im in the wrong, because of course he feels horrible, im the person who he loves the most. But i feel like im really trying to change for us, and it was a stupid mistake. i want your opinions and tell me what to do