Therapist suggested I imagine having an incurable disease
After telling me to practice mindfulness meditation/breathing control and monitor negative self talk every day... (FYI he never actually wanted to discuss what exactly those negative thoughts are. His view is that through mindfulness meditation and using CBT techniques myself, I should get better on my own because I would learn not to attach to my thoughts.)
To top it off, today after having some health issues which triggered my health anxiety, he wanted to move into exposure therapy. He wanted me to write out a script where my doctor delivers horrible news that I am going to die today from an incurable disease, and then suggested to immerse myself in that script for an hour each day.
I refused to do that saying "I dont want to put that in my head every day" (and frankly don't want to waste an hour of my evening like that). My T backed up and said, "well we will never do anything you don't want to do." Then he asked me, "If we cannot do this, what else should we do then?".......If he had actually spent the time to get to know me on a personal level, he would understand what my issues and trauma are and would not have to ask me how to approach them. Needless to say, after that session, my anxiety was even worse.
When I also told him that my anxiety was getting worse, he said "why is it not working for you? Clients tend to get better when they practice the mindfulness and CBT worksheets I gave you."
Another time, I tried to explain a bad anxiety experience I had, and instead of wanting to understand it, he brushed past it and spent 15 minutes telling a personal story about his own life with a ton of unnecessary personal details to make the point that "you often see yourself as less than others."
I am so done.