How to manage emotions after being cheated on?
Hi, I (25M) am back again. I will add the other post link at the end.
So at the start of the year my ex confessed to me that she cheated on me. I still tried to save the relationship but the news was so devastating to me that I had a mental breakdown and became suicidal. I was sad for the cheating part.
Fast forward in April, like an idiot I still tried to convince her to let the relationship one more try and it blew up very badly when I had another mental breakdown.
Now here is the thing, I am doing everything thing that is possible for me to move on. I have cut all relationship with her and all kinds of contact with her including friends and families. I am not in social media apart from Reddit which she doesn't use. I am in another country so there is no possible way for us to meet even by mistake.
I sometimes get hit intense emotions. One with sadness and another anger. The anger I can control. It is the sadness that gets very hard to control. And when sadness hits, I start to think about suicide again. I am not acting on suicide, it's the pain that I crave. I have a high tolerance for pain so physical pain is not a problem for me. I had broke my leg in 2 and was bedridden for 3 years. So believe me about the physical pain.
When the sadness hits, it seems like someone is ripping my heart out and I think I would prefer that but not the imaginary pain where I can not do anything.
I am a fresh graduate and looking for a job. So with all the sadness, insomnia(6 years) hitting me, it is affecting me very badly. And I want to manage that sadness. I do physical activity and in therapy.
So any advice how to manage sadness that will reduce it? I know I will never forget this pain but I want to make it small so that it doesn't affect me that much where I am unable to function properly.