I (early 20s female) got a surgical abortion yesterday after learning I was pregnant 4 days ago. I found out Sunday afternoon and my partner (late twenties, male) had a work trip that his office had been planning the whole month.
He left early the next morning while I had to be at planned parenthood for 7 hours alone + I got the surgery 48 hours later because my state has a 6-week limit. While there, my sister and mother accompanied me to the clinic, but they both noted my partner’s daunting absence. I know that rearranging this project was out of my hands, but I wish he was there for this very important and difficult part of my life. These parts will have been over when he returns, and I fear I’ll resent him for not being able to fully understand or internalize my suffering.
For context, I think that motherhood is one of the most beautiful things I would do in life,
but I know it wasn’t the right time. While this was an act of love, I’ve been vocal about my grief. The process was very difficult - some of the staff were not compassionate at all (sharing memes on their ‘covered’ second monitor through Team while I’m pouring my heart out). This all feels so demoralizing and invalidating.
I don’t want to resent my partner, but he comes back soon and I’m struggling to manage how bitter I am. I’m afraid I will feel indifferent and numb to the comfort he tries to provide because the “important parts are over,” even though he feels powerless, awful about not being there and mutually saddened by my experience. We do everything and anything together, and this has been the only, vital exception. Can anyone relate to this?