r/abortion

my partner cheated on me, i have no interest in keeping this child.

I was dating a guy for 4 months when we found out I was pregnant. Initially we had discussed keeping it. We had convos about what that would look like and he even said he had baby fever. He ended up talking to his sister and decided he wanted me to have an abortion.

This hurt me, he had already talked to a couple friends, go worker and his mom. So him telling his sister he wanted me to terminate before he spoke to me first hurt me. He responded with “I hope you’re not saying I can’t talk to my sister” no validation of it being hurtful etc.

He had to got on a month long work trip a week after us finding out. He knew I did not want to terminate as I’ve had 2 in the past in my 20s and I’m now 32f and he’s 33m. We fight a lot while he’s in his trip. He’s mostly only available before or after long 12 hour work shifts so the convos are short and emotionally exhausting and go in circles. Hes tired. I’m dizzy nauseas emotional. He spends his days off hanging out w co-workers. Going to museums. When I say I want to keep it, he tells me it’s a mistake. He asks me to just go to the termination appt anyways. (Says this is just a question not pressure).

In the end I start lashing out a lot. I’m very hurt for how this trip has went and a lot of comments he’s made and his lack of empathy. He now feels that our relationship won’t work and he only wants to co-parent. Says he’s unhappy he’s having a kid w me and that the things I said when lashing out are worse than him being upset he’s having a kid w me / telling me it’s a mistake to keep it.

I feel out of control of my feelings. I’m a way I’ve never felt. I even called a hotline thinking I’m having a mental breakdown. They suggested I talk to my OB about these feelings I have exp of what I did when lashing out and they said it doesn’t sound unreasonable considering the circumstances.

Today I have an appt w my ob I a few hours. I’m supposed to decide at this point if I’m doing MA or keeping it. I still haven’t made the choice and it’s within 3 hours. I feel like things have gone so far with him, it’s no turning back. I’m embarrassed for how I’ve acted but at the same time he takes no responsibility for his part.

For context im 18f and i had been with my boyfriend for a long time, i do see myself having a family in the future with him but not right now
i have always been pro choice and ill always be
ill never judge a woman for choosing herself but i never imagined how hard this is
i feel so empty and depressed my abortion is scheduled for tomorrow and i cant stop crying
i just think how beautiful my baby would be and how evil i am for not being able to provide it the life it deserves
this is the worst i ever felt im grateful i have my mans support but he would never understand this feeling
its literally growing inside me and eating everything i do and i just have to let it go?
idk how i will ever get over it but its just not the right time for a baby and i know the baby wouldnt be happy with the life i could give it rn
i just started college and neither my boyfriend nor i have ever been employed and we dont have anyones support

im so sorry baby
mommy is really sorry and ill never forget you i think ill regret this for a lifetime i just hope you will understand and forgive me

I had a abortion via pill with hey Jane 4 weeks ago I’m still bleeding it has never stopped during the 4 weeks I’m not having any pain but I smell like lamb down there you know the gamey type of smell I definitely seen the sac and white bean like fetus plus I have a negative test but why else would I smell like raw flesh down there even shortly after showering it’s very odd and it’s been 2 days since I contacted hey Jane and haven’t heard back google obviously tells you the worst case scenario has anyone had this happen to them during this process

I’ve never made a post on Reddit before so here goes nothing… I had hg with my first pregnancy, had a Zofran pump up until 32 weeks and was miserable the whole pregnancy and could not enjoy it. Fast forward 2.5 years later and me and my husband planned our second one. I have HG this pregnancy as well but 1000x worse. I cannot keep any food or fluid down, no medicines are working, the Zofran pump isn’t working. I’m so depressed and miserable that I cannot be a parent, a partner, I can’t work, I can’t help around the house, I can’t do anything. My family is very religious and “God will give you the strength” and my husband believes this is all “Gods will” and that he will get me through this. I’m a little under 10 weeks and got approved for abortion pills through the MAP. Does anyone have any experience with this company or any words of advice? I’m so hurt and upset feeling like I did this to myself since we planned this pregnancy but I truly did not think my hyperemesis would come back or be THIS bad. 🙁 I’m in such a dark place mentally being so sick everyday and I genuinely don’t think I will be able to survive this whole pregnancy. Please help.

20F here
USA, PR
Lots of text, please bare with me :(

Last period was may 27- 31

I haven’t had a partner in a long time, & although my cycles are long- my periods are quite regular. My partner is now working elsewhere and has to fly over for visits, he did and we had protected Intercourse 3 days, I got my period, and afterwards we proceeded to have protected sex for many more days. Always condoms + pullout to be safe. The only incident I can think of is a moment where a condom slipped and there is an existing possibility of sperm making it’s way in (june 5)
He flew out the 16th.

I had some unusual pink spotting and mild cramps the 18th to 19th. Then completely gone.

After that, I grew increasingly worried about implantation bleeding and started stressing out so much I was an emotional wreck.

Ever since, I’ve been getting the weirdest of symptoms aswell as currently 5-6 days late which is very unusual for me. I tested 3 different times and got negatives (30th june, 1st july, 3rd july). I started urinating a lot, i started getting loads of discharge constantly, cramps that would sometimes switch sides, bloating that would come and go, nausea, headaches, mood swings, my breasts feel slightly tender. I also started dreaming very vividly which is not very usual.

As of now, some of those symptoms have subsided ( frequent urination, constant discharge, nauseas, headaches, bloating ) and some have changed ( discharge went from frothy yellow to white creamy again, cramps have turned into more mild sensations on my abdomen or pelvis area )

My stress has gone significantly down knowing i’m hopefully on time if anything has truly happened, and so have the symptoms, but my period is nowhere to be found. I’m a college student and unfortunately struggling to find employment, so I can’t afford any more tests at the moment- and with my mom in control of my medical info, I can’t get ultrasounds, blood tests either, let alone visit a clinic.

I’m lost on what to do.. I had abortion pills from a bad pregnancy scare from two years ago after getting S/Ad by my partner at the time but right now only the mifepristone is good. The miso expired in 2025. I’m not even 100% sure i’m pregnant, but without my period, all I can say is that I cannot risk having a child. My partner is very supportive of me choosing to abort, but we don’t want children at all, my partner is in the process of getting a vasectomy. I don’t want a child, he doesn’t either, we can’t afford a child, I have studies and many things I want to do with my life and under no circumstance do I want to even leave room for the possibility of having one.

What should I do? I’m in the process of getting new pills from AidAccess. On the meantime, what should I do with the uncertainty? Should I take the Mifepristone? Should I wait to get my period? I need advice and support please. I know many would argue that my tests were negative but this is all so weird, I swear I can’t risk it at all. I don’t want to have a baby. I’ve seen people have false negatives and not even realize they’re pregnant until it’s far too late. I don’t want to go through that at all. Even if i’m not pregnant, I’d rather be 100% safe. Please help. I’m lost

i’m a 23f who found out i was pregnant 3 weeks ago, im currently 9 weeks and im miserable. i broke up with my bf and moved across town so i can move on but then tested positive after almost a month no contact. there was cheating involved on his end and a heavy drinking dependency that would cause violent fights between us. at first i did want to keep it in hopes it would change him & we could be good but we have been fighting about our past & I realized I will be stuck with him forever. i live in TX so you can see the big problem i’m having, i just dont know where to go from here since i feel like i’m farther than most when they do it.

I (27) had an abortion Dec 3rd, 2025. Thank to this group and support I got thru it even being in another country for vacation. Well, around 1am this morning my bf and we’re having sex, and immediately after, I had a sharp shooting pain in my cervix, abdomen and pains that would shoot into my butt. I make myself go to sleep in hopes it goes way… 4am and the pains wake me up. I try to walk to the bathroom and it was too painful. I woke up my boyfriend to help me and we make it. I sit on the toilet and for the life of me couldn’t relax my muscles to pee. It took awhile but eventually did. After going back to the room, I called the ER line for my insurance and the nurse advised I come to the ER… Here we are. I have the CT done, negative pregnancy test (thank God), however, I eventually go to get an US done and the tech is asking valid questions but opened up that old wounds. She suspects that my uterus may have left over product from the termination??? But I don’t think so because I’ve been on my BC and regular period that last 5 days since the termination completed. I thought “failed”/incomplete abortions are found shortly after the initial procedure. In my case, medical. I recently saw my Gyn last week and said everything was good. Do incomplete abortion happen this far out?

I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. I am 26. I have never ever wanted children, I also didn't think I was able to have children so this is a lot to process. If it's written in black & white, I shouldn't have this pregnancy. My boyfriend and I have only been together for 8 months and it's been a rollercoaster of a relationship. He is still going through finalizing a divorce so I feel awful that I am even pregnant. I know you're probably judging already, most people do that i am even dating him. He did not cheat, they were separated for a year and a half before I met him. I am not where i want to be to have a child. I wanted to be married and have a home. I don't want to bring a child into a home thats not even built because in my experience that'll lead to a broken home. I have my abortion scheduled for this week but I am so scared. I keep having thoughts on if this is something that I should really do. Parts of me are getting excited and happy about having a baby forming in my belly but then I get the realistic feelings as well. Any advice?

I've been with my husband for about 15 years, married for 10 this November. We have a wonderful 4 year old daughter together. Last Sat, we found out I'm pregnant and immediately knew it wasn't for the best. We wanted to be one and done for a variety of reasons: financial security, time capacity (we have long commutes and are out of the house from 6:30 - 6), and I have 3 fibroids which one led to some complications that led to an emergency c section. It grew to 10 cm. The doctors said if I were to try to get pregnant again I should plan to remove them but we didn't. I also had sepsis after my delivery, which no one knows how I got it.

We feel like we just got ourselves back...I'm going to the gym again, lost 55 lbs, things are getting easier with our daughter and we are enjoying traveling and experiences with her. Toddler years were hard on my mental health.

Overall, I know this decision is for the best but I still feel so very sad and after taking the pill just feel so guilty, but I am hoping the relief comes soon. Tomorrow I'll take the other pills. Any other similar experiences or words of wisdom would help me today and tomorrow.

Did anyone else feel like they didn’t really have a choice?
I’m struggling with a lot of anger, grief, and regret, and I honestly don’t know how to process it anymore.
When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to keep my baby. At the same time, I knew my situation wasn’t ideal. I live with my parents, I was struggling financially, and the father of my baby believed abortion was the only logical option. He talked about finances, timing, and not being ready to become parents. He also told me he didn’t want a mother who “didn’t know herself” raising his child.
I loved him, and I wanted our relationship to work. I felt like if I chose to keep the baby, I would lose him. Looking back, I don’t feel like I made the decision I truly wanted—I feel like I made the decision I believed I had to make.
I ended up having the abortion.
Ever since then, I’ve been grieving every single day. I miss my baby constantly, and I can’t stop wondering what life would have been like if I had chosen differently. The guilt and regret are overwhelming.
Something that has been replaying in my mind happened recently. I asked him if, if another woman were pregnant with his baby, he would let her keep it. He said it would depend on who the person was and their life circumstances.
Hearing that crushed me. I know he didn’t literally say I didn’t deserve my baby, but that’s how it felt. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to be my baby’s mother because of my circumstances.
Now I’m angry at him because I feel like I lost the choice that my heart wanted to make. I’m also angry at myself because I keep thinking I should have fought harder for my baby.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? Did you feel pressured by your circumstances, your relationship, or your partner? How did you cope with the grief and regret afterward?
Please be kind. I’m already carrying more guilt than I know what to do with. The father of the baby keeps telling me I need to get over it

I just found out I was 16/17 weeks pregnant. Ive taken multiple tests over the past few months, but they had all come back negative,
but after an ultrasound today I found out for sure that I am. The baby already has a heartbeat. Im 18 years old and am in no way able to go through with this. I live in Florida but am obviously open to treatment in other states. Is there anything I can do? What are my options? Im so lost right now yall idk where to go or what to do with this as i found out so late, and am already in my second trimester. please help

im 18 yrs old and 3 weeks pregnant right now and i need to get an abortion , ive done a lot of research on the two options but i need to wait until 6 weeks in order to get a surgical abortion. the medical abortion sounds really painful in comparison and i really dont want to do it does anyone please have any advice?? ive been worrying about it since i found out and the thought of having to do that is terrifying

A person from this sub sent me a private message with stories of women who regretted the abortion. I am about to do it, and it really messed me up. She even sent me papers that affirm that women that do it are at higher risks of depression.

Please, could you share stories that the abortion is not followed with devastating regret? Thank you.

Edit: I'm speechless with all the kindness and support I've received from your comments. I have no words in english to express how grateful I am. There's nothing more powerful than women supporting each other like this. THANK YOU!

The title says it all. I need to have a surgical/in-clinic abortion done FULLY sedated, is that an option anywhere in the United States?

I have had a medicated abortion before, last year and I am still incredibly traumatized by how painful and long of a process it was for me. I cannot go through that again; and I unfortunately have an incredibly low pain tolerance and high medical/procedural anxiety (I have a long complicated, painful health history) that has just weakened me over time, and I cannot for the life of me come to terms with the idea of feeling my insides being “scraped out” as others have said on this sub… I would ideally love to do it as HIGHLY sedated as possible, if I could be put fully under I would choose that option.

Can I do this anywhere here? I’m located in Utah but willing to travel within the United States

I'm from Algeria and i found out that i was pregnant 5 days ago , I've tried every website that ships abortion pills and none of them ship to my country because it's strictly illegal, i would appreciate any insight or any solution, if anyone from Algeria is reading this please feel free to share any information

I am 35 years old and I found out I am pregnant. 5 weeks and some days. I'm scheduled for an abortion on Thursday. I don't have any regrets at all. My fiance on the other hand thinks the baby isn't his. I haven't cheated. I don't have any time to cheat. I'm always at home with our children and dog. I just don't understand why he feels the way he does. He says that in his mind this is a dead baby. I'm just so hurt and confused. I just needed to get it out there. Maybe this is for the best. This baby doesn't deserve this. Anyway thanks for listening to me. It means a lot to me. I don't have any friends or family so I'm going through this alone.

No meu país aborto é crime (BR) estou grávida de 7 semanas e não quero essa criança. Por motivos de: não estou preparada para ser mãe, meu marido é um banana, e acredito que tenho muitas coisas para fazer na vida antes de ter filhos. Não tenho condições de comprar medicamentos, então, estou optando por chás, acabei de fazer chá de sálvia, vi que é bom para contrações uterinas e já comprei losna e artemísia, vi que também são bons para isso. Mas tenho medo de ser um aborto bem sucedido e descobrirem no hospital. Alguém já tomou esses chás para esses fins? Oq aconteceu depois? Se eu for no hospital vão descobrir? Alguém tem familiaridade com ervas para me aconselhar? São tantas dúvidas e medos. Mas a certeza é que eu não tenho capacidade de ser mãe e amar esse filho como deveria. Por favor me ajudem.

i’m 18 and in the beginning of december of 2025 i found out i was pregnant. i had just turned 18. my boyfriend at the time & i had been on and off for about 3 years and it was not a good relationship but that is irrelevant to this. we broke up after the abortion because i went crazy after it honestly. it’s now july and i’m still stuck in this mess. i have a new boyfriend who i love so so much and i am incredibly happy with him and very very grateful for that relationship. that’s a positive right now.

basically, i have always wanted to be a mom and always thought id never have an abortion no matter the circumstances. it just wasn’t something i wanted for myself, and since i was a little girl i’ve felt like my life purpose is to be a mom.

so, ever since my abortion in december, i have completely lost myself. i dropped out of school and i work a shitty part time retail job where i barley get any hours. all i do other than working is laying in bed smoking weed or hanging out with my boyfriend. i have no motivation to do anything to get my life together. i have no motivation to continue school even though i know how important it is. i know i need to look for a new job where i can get more hours but again, no motivation to do so. on top of that, i have become pretty dependent on alcohol. i drink often. it feels like the only time i can let myself feel the pain.

at first, the drinking wasn’t such a concern but it’s started to escalate. i’ve lost friends over it, i’ve been in trouble with the law, and my parents are worried about me. after a night of drinking where something bad happens, i wake up with the worst anxiety and shame and i say im done drinking and that i want to stop and then i do for a couple days but as soon as i can get my hands on it again, im right back at it.

i feel so stuck, i feel like i have no control over my life and i don’t know what to do. i know i need to get a therapist and it is an option for me, but again: motivation. i have no desire whatsoever to talk to a therapist. i just want this feeling and these memories to GO AWAY. i want to be me again. i feel like a shell of myself.

i talk about it to my support people but it just doesn’t help and it’s not getting better. it’s getting worse. i’m scared i’m gonna lose myself past the point of return.

I found out 2 weeks ago I’m pregnant. I am now 6 weeks and still don’t know what to do😕 I cancelled my appointment to abort/get the pills tomorrow. Neither decision feels ‘right’. I’m so torn and I thought I’d be able to come to a decision by now…