r/abortion

im 24, and 21w pregnant with my first ever child. with my ex, off an on for 5 years. we’ve been mostly off for the last two almost, but still seen each other from time to time. well i got pregnant by him, and made a post here a while ago due to it.

all i’m going to say is if you are in a situation similar to me and you’re initial reaction and gut feeling is to terminate, because you think its whats best for you, listen to yourself. you know yourself best.

i didn’t listen to myself, and i’m setting up my daughter and i for a world of hurt with this man as her father. he wanted me to abort, he came around later on when he realized there was nothing he could do. and then is now messing with a girl who already has a kid, yet he barely wants anything to do with his own. he wants her around, but not to help with anything. we were exclusive, even through being on/off, until now. and i’m 21weeks.

i have always paid for everything. he is unemployed and still lives with his mom. he is 22. he will not be able to provide anything for her anytime soon, and his priorities seem to be going to clubs and this girl he’s been talking to. hurts to see him be there for someone else’s kid when he won’t be there for his own.

thing is, i really hate to see my daughter have to grow up without their father. i know he sucks that’s why i questioned myself about having this baby - but i tried to believe in the good in him, and tried to make us at least somewhat functional. for our daughter.

Not sure how to navigate this, and truthfully i could never hope for this on anyone, i just want to share. hopefully prevent anyone from making the same mistakes as me.

what do i even do from here?

My last period was August 20th. I missed my September 20th period.. yesterday I went in for the pill abortion. With my last period, I should have been 6 weeks 5 days. I have a pretty regular cycle usually.. why did the nurse not see anything in my uterus at all? Not even a yolk sac. Just empty uterus? She took my blood and wants me back in tomorrow for more blood to check my hgc. She said if I took the pills now it may not work. Has this happened to anyone else? What’s going on?

I need to find some form of birth control that doesn’t involve medication. I’m not sure if I’m pregnant, and I can’t buy any medication at all, but I urgently need to find some kind of contraceptive method. Please don’t judge me. I’m very young, and the person I was with was older and didn’t really warn me or explain things to me

I had an abortion in March 2026, I was due the day after my birthday this month of October . The grief I’ve experienced has been pure torture from depression , to suicidal thoughts , to crying and sobbing . i fake like I’m getting better but I’m not . I've been trying to mask my feelings and put on a strong face but deep down inside I’m dying with extreme heartache and pain. so ashamed and embarrassed. I don’t even know why I’m writing this , maybe just to vent because it’s so much pent up anger, sadness and feeling worthless . I don’t know how to forgive myself I don’t know how to keep going anymore. some days I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up . I ruined my life, my mental stability. even seeing pregnant or babies breaks my heart . Because it should be me and it’s not . I use to pray for forgiveness now I don’t because I cant even forgive myself . I tried taking to a therapist but stopped didnt feel helpful . everyday I struggle to move forward . I honestly don’t know what more to do. this must be the punishment for making the wrong choice. my birthdays will never be the same . I don’t know how I’ll ever celebrate another birthday knowing I should’ve had a baby . I just wish I could disappear

I’ve been like 70/30 on terminating/keeping this pregnancy and I feel like I was just manipulated into continuing..

My partner has been against termination but told me I should do what I felt was right.

My mental health hasn’t been great and we are really behind on finances. Bringing another child into this is just not responsible..

I’ve had the pills and have just been too scared to take them (I only have about 2 weeks left to take them before needing a surgical)

But without telling me my partner told our older children about my pregnancy which now changes everything. I have no been put in a position where I will have to lie to them about why I’m not pregnant anymore. This feels very manipulative on his part to tell them behind my back before I was sure and ready

My boyfriend (20M) and I (23F), had an unexpected pregnancy around two weeks ago. We have been together since July, and we have built a beautiful relationship.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked because I had taken a Plan B the day after and it didn’t work. Anyway, given my current financial situation (still in college; serving job; live in a different country with no family support) I felt scared of bringing a child into my reality, because my mom had me young and I know that she struggled more than she would like to admit. Additionally, my sister had a baby at 22 and is currently struggling as well with her baby. I just don’t want that for my baby. Anyway, my boyfriend never really made me feel like I had his support, and the reason why this is important is because I would’ve never chosen to have an abortion in the first place, because of my values.

To not make this too long, here are some reasons why I am thinking of calling out the relationship:
**Important info: he said he would make the adjustments to be with me the day of the appointment**

1. My friend offered to help me (because I was originally going to take the pill) and he said that would be better because he couldn’t be able to make it to the appointment since he works with his mom and can’t tell her anything.
2. The Sunday before the appointment, he was laying on my belly and I asked him to move because he was putting a lot of pressure on my body and it was hurting me. He started joking about “whether I’d ever thought about throwing myself off the stairs or punching myself to get an abortion” and hysterically laughed like it was funny! I was genuinely so hurt and I said that I don’t think it’s funny or fair that he gets so say that because I am ending a life that WE created and I am the one who has to endure with the pain and the trauma that comes with that. He apologized and said that it was just a bad joke, and he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
3. He wasn’t there for me the day of the appointment and I had to go through everything alone. The night before, I chose to have a surgical abortion because I didn’t want to go through a two-day process. I informed him of this change in the morning, but I had to call him, because he didn’t call me, since the night before I was upset that he wasn’t going to come with me, so he wanted to give me some “space”.

When I got to the clinic, all of the girls were sitting with their boyfriends, and then it was just me in a corner completely alone. I waited a few hours for the procedure, which was done under local anesthesia and it hurt me so badly, I cried the whole time. It was one of the scariest experiences I had ever been through, and he didn’t call me ONCE to see if I was okay. His reasoning was: I didn’t call you because I didn’t think you would want to hear from me.
4. I asked him if it was possible that he could come after the appointment, and he said he wasn’t able to because he had to go to a funeral and to his grandpa’s birthday right after. He only saw me the next day for about two hours, and brought me some food. But the first day? Literally nothing. Just checking up texts.
5. His mom had him when she was 17, and since a young age she told him to watch out for girls who would try to keep a baby to get child support.
6. He’s upset that I don’t treat him like normal, and he wants me to initiate conversations and show him that I love him, because he sees that things have changed ever since the abortion.
7. He won’t call me unless I call him because he thinks that I don’t want to hear from him.
8. He keeps apologizing and saying “I’m sorry that what I’m doing isn’t enough”

This whole situation just showed me a completely different side of him that I never thought I would ever see, because our relationship is so perfect. His reasoning for not coming to the appointment was “I can’t leave my mom with all of the clients by herself”. When I explained to him in detailed how my experience was at the clinic, he was surprised that I went through so much without anyone there. He felt horrible afterwards, and has been apologizing ever since. What hurts me the most is that my life stopped- I couldn’t go to school, work or anything besides rest for a few days. That was last week, he has a trip to Orlando this Thursday. We usually go to service on Wednesday at 7:30pm, but he said that since the local will be closed during their trip, they’ve extended the schedule for other clients, to which I said, “I actually have a lot of studying to do, so are we able to see each other tonight?”, which he replied “I would love to, but I’m going to do Uber Eats for the evening just to save up some extra money before the trip.

I can genuinely say that I love him, but I don’t deserve this. He has never shown me this kind of behavior before so I’m really torn on what to do next. I know that I am mentally out of the relationship, but he doesn’t want to lose me and he hates that he made me go through this.

Please give me your honest thoughts on this. I’m starting to feel depressed over everything.

I got pregnant without planning to I live in Oman I am omani I am not married it's totally illegal I can't keep the baby I need to abort it please help me out

Soy de México es que no me salía mi país en este grupo. Te comento que exactamente hace 7 días tome mifrepristona pero al día siguiente me arrepentí pero estaba sangrando mucho que fui a urgencias y seguía vivo el feto. Yo quería abortar porque no sé si les pasa que entran en ansiedad horrible por todos los cambios que habrá. No quiero pasar por todo esto me entra un pavor. Y otra vez quiero abortar pero ya estoy a 10 semanas y tengo aún el misoprostol me da miedo desangrarme si me lo tomo. Pensaba tomarlo e irme a urgencias por cualquier cosa decir que fue aborto espontáneo. No me juzguen solo no sé qué hacer con mi vida estoy deprimida diario y con ansiedad.

In 2025 I had an MA - worst experience of my life medically.

In April 2026 I had an SA (my story is posted here). The actual SA was hard but manageable but the hormonal effect on my MH was profound.

They fitted a copper coil at the same time but it expelled itself a few months ago. I am on the waiting list for NHS sterilisation as over the past 15+ years I’ve tried all of the available contraceptives & the hormones make me very mentally unwell to the point of serious crisis. I have no kids and never want any.

I am now convinced I am pregnant again.

Day 1 last period was 15/09

Sex was 28/09 - condom failed but he swore he didn’t finish

Today I have taken x2 early clear blues. I know this is early and the actual first date of testing should be 08/10 but I am very anxious so tested anyway.

They were both negative initially but when I looked at them again after 15/20 minutes they both have faint positives. I know results are only reliable within the specific time window but it’s definitely not evaporation lines as they are both blue not grey etc.

I will keep retesting.

I’ve already self referred to my local NHS who said I am 3 weeks ish and they can’t do anything at all (MA or SA) until I have a scan and scan can only be done from 6 weeks.

The scan has been booked for exactly 6 weeks and I advised I am refusing MA due to past experience and having previously had a gastric sleeve (I end up very ill). The nurse explained surgery is every Wednesday so would either be the day after my scan or the week after. I will be requesting GA again but will probably have to try local so I can drive myself home after :(

I know I could get pills in the post and do it sooner but I can’t express how awful my MA experience was and I was physically ill for a long time after.

I am extremely embarrassed and ashamed that I am in this situation again. I am so lucky that the NHS is available to me and I don’t have to worry about finance. However, I will be going through the process totally alone as I don’t have any friends or family apart from my Dad (I don’t want to tell him I’m in this situation again).

I’m not sure what I’m looking for really, maybe reassurance?

I’m currently going through a medical abortion and I’m a bit confused and worried about what’s happening, so I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar.

I took the first abortion pill (mifepristone) and was told to take the second medication (misoprostol) on Day 3.

I’ve been struggling with a lot of vomiting and nausea. I’ve had HG before, so unfortunately vomiting isn’t completely unusual for me, but I’ve been finding it really difficult to keep things down.

I was worried about vomiting after taking the first pill because my instructions say I need to keep it down for 2 hours. I genuinely wasn’t sure I could manage that because of how sick I’ve been.

I’ve mostly been managing tiny amounts of fluid and food. Watermelon has been one of the few things I’ve been able to eat, although I am officially reaching the point where I may never look at another watermelon the same way 😂**. I’ve also been drinking things like Rubicon because I needed something other than water/diluted juice.**

The thing I’m confused about now is that I still feel pregnant and I don’t think I’ve passed the pregnancy.

I’ve also had quite severe cramping/pain around where I would expect my uterus to be, along with the nausea/vomiting and dizziness I’ve already been experiencing.

I haven’t had the kind of bleeding I expected, which is part of why I’m confused. I thought by this point I would have passed the pregnancy.

Has anyone else had a medical abortion where it took longer than expected to pass the pregnancy, or where they didn’t initially have much bleeding?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just people’s experiences of what happened for them and how long it took before things started progressing normally.

Thanks ❤️

I am 42 and about 5 weeks pregnant. I have an appointment for abortion this Wednesday but I am riddled and consumed by guilt and shame. I have two teens boys and we recently had started trying to have our third child. In 2025, I had two miscarriages (one at 5-6weeks -chemical, and then a blighted ovum later that year) then this past April I had my third miscarriage at 8-9 weeks, the baby’s heart stopped beating. Later found out it was due to trisomy 22. And now I’m pregnant again. The miscarriages took a significant toll on my mental health and my husbands. I just
Don’t know if I can endure more loss, anxiety and stress from another pregnancy/loss. After each loss I had to crawl my way out of a dark place and I lost time with my family when I couldn’t be mentally present with them. When I say I’m terrified and already consumed by anxiety is something I’ve never felt. I feel terrible that a baby I cried so much for is what I’m considering to end. What if this is my healthy baby? But what if it’s not? Each pregnancy/miscarriage got worse. I’m terrified of what this one could bring. And with the confirmed chromosomal abnormality in the last pregnancy, supports that my eggs may not be of best quality especially since last obgyn suggested that if I wanted to try conceiving again I should consider genetic testing. I’m not the most religious person but I do have faith. I’m terrified of how God can forgive me. I had an abortion at 23 because I didn’t feel ready to be a mom at the time. And now to have a second one terrifies me! But it also terrifies me to lose another pregnancy, myself or baby have medical complications. Am I a bad person 💔?

hi, i’ve been pregnant for 6 months and my boyfriend is the father. my last menstruation was the first or the second week of april, so i’m guessing i’m probably 24 weeks pregnant, and yes i took a lot of tests so i’m sure. i only found out about it at 2 months, and i’m only teenager. to be honest, it was too hard to believe that i really was pregnant so i ignored it for another 2 months, until my bump started to be noticeable. only my boyfriend, and a friend of mine knew. my boyfriend doesn’t really care about it, and i couldn’t share the burden of finding ways to abort it with my friend, and obviously, i can’t tell my parents. i was scared and alone, so i’ve been planning to k*ll myself. but the more days that pass, the more i realize that i don’t want to. i have a bright future ahead, and i’d rather die than have this child. this is my last resort, so if you have some advice, i’d gladly take it.

Called the clinic where I am scheduled one week from today to get some clarification about pain management and ask some questions to calm my nerves. I WILL be getting IV Sedation and paracervical block for day 2 (the actual procedure). I WILL NOT be getting a paracervical block for day 1, the Laminaria insertion. (I will be 21 weeks the day of my procedure)

So, for those of you that have done an SA 2 day procedure,

-were you numbed for the Laminaria placement?

-how long did Laminaria placement take and if you were not numbed, how bad was it?

-can you request to BE numbed for it? I’m sure it will be extra $ I’m just curious.

Any and all experiences surrounding cervical prep are welcome. I’m going through with this no matter what. Just trying to learn more.

Thank you.

Tw for suicidal ideation, self-harm, etc.

My partner (26m) gave me (25f) an ultimatum that seemed logical to him, but stripped away my agency.

My dream has always been to be a mother. I got pregnant with a copper IUD in may and found out June 18. I was living in nc while my friends, family, and bf all live in California. When I found out, I was destroyed. I was entering my second year of grad school and getting ready to wrap up and graduate in may. I've always said I'd never get an abortion. I had an IUD, I wasn't supposed to even get pregnant. I don't know why I did it.

My bf was very adamant on not ready to be a parent, he said we both have lots we have to work through before we take that step. He wasn't even with me in nc when I had the procedure done. One of my friends from Colorado flew out to be with me instead. Because my bf just couldn't make it work.

I regret the decision every single day. My dad (60m) told me to "do whatever your bf wants you to do because the man never gets the choice". Well, that took away my choice. I allowed my choice to be taken away. I had the abortion on July 14 and I've only gotten worse and worse since then. I go to therapy, but my therapist can't see me anymore because I'm living in California with my bf now.

I just so badly need someone to talk to consistently about this, but I don't know where to go. I hate that I have to live in the body. I hate that my progress in grad school is at a major delay. My car and most of my other things are at my apartment in nc. I am grieving my child and my whole life.

I want my baby back so badly, but I know that if I didn't get the abortion, it'd just be a string of a whole bunch of different problems. I can't win. I have been self-harming again and it's gotten really bad. I think about killing myself literally daily. I feel closer and closer to my death and the reunification with my baby. I feel violated.

My bf does love me, truly, he didn't know that the abortion would cause me to have these feelings. He told me "if I knew I'd lose you, too, I would have never asked you to get it done". My mother said the same thing. Everyone wanted me to have the abortion except myself and my best friend.

Has anyone else been through something similar and come out okay? I still want children, but I don't even want to be alive anymore. I feel like I don't deserve children after what I did. I feel disgust. I feel like the only way I can feel better is if I'm pregnant again and I carry to term and birth the child and take care of it.

i found out i was four weeks pregnant and took the mife this past sunday at 6:30pm. inserted the four misoprostol yesterday evening at around 10 pm something but took promethazine and hydrocodone before to curb the nausea and cramping.

i didnt bleed the whole evening despite having cramps but when i got up to pee in the morning, i had cramps still and clots started to coming out. i had already started bleeding with the mife when i took it on sunday and had cramping but the bleeding and cramping didnt start happening till this morning.

im still bleeding now, but i was expecting to see bigger clots. do i need to re do the process tonight? im scared im still pregnant. im eating a lot and was super drowsy this morning till i took a nap during my work lunch.

im worried and do not want to be pregnant.

I’m 18 and I just found out I’m pregnant I’m from Las Vegas near Whitney I can’t seem to find a clinic I can afford and I have no job no money. I know I am financially unstable to raise a baby I live in poverty and I don’t want my baby to suffer from it.

I also don’t live with my family due to family issues but that’s something I’m not going to go through I currently live with my boyfriend and his family which they are not much of a help but my boyfriend is.

I’m feeling overwhelmed and I can’t stop crying I need advice from you guys please…

I’m happily married with 2 children, getting pregnant was a complete accident as we already agreed our family is complete! I waiting for my medical abortion pills and I feel so much guilt! it’s something I always said I couldn’t do but I really don’t want to continue this pregnancy. the thought of it all being over in a few weeks time brings me relief but guilt.

I (30F) have decided to terminate my pregnancy due to a traumatic birth experience with my daughter 9 years ago.
My husband (33M) and I found out we were pregnant a week ago and unfortunately my reaction to it was not your expected “oh my gosh, we’re having a baby!”. Instead, I was instantly flooded with memories of the birth of our daughter, lead by a panic attack with me screaming, “I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it!”. Although 30% of me wants this baby due to being in a good place financially, my husband being a wonderful father, and having a stable, loving relationship, I cannot get over the trauma I endured with our daughter. This decision has been eating me alive. My husband has been a great support system and believes that it is 100% my decision as this is my body. And I honestly hate that I have to make this choice.
Doing research about abortion care in OH in itself was stressful. Abortion was available, yet it was hard to obtain, so I ended up requesting the abortion pill from HeyJane instead. 2 days later, it was on my front porch and I’m a mess. Last night, I started the process despite that 30% gnawing at me. But, I know in the end this is what I needed to do. I just can’t help but think about all of the what ifs if we never went this route. Knowing me, I will probably feel guilt the rest of my life, but, as I tell my daughter, our bodies and our mental health always comes first, no matter what. I think I just need to heavily remind myself that every day.

bom, eu passei por um aborto começo do mês de setembro, e desde então venho num processo longo, de aceitação, de auto perdão e de seguir com a vida, sinto que cada dia é um dia, cada dia tenho uma percepção e entendimento diferente da situação, tem dias que são melhores e outros que os pensamentos ficam pesados demais. nesse processo estou fazendo acompanhamento com minha psicóloga, sinto que 50 minutos é muito pouco pra tudo que eu penso e quero desenvolver sobre o tema do aborto, minha sorte é ter meu núcleo familiar pra me escutar e me ajudar a processar tudo. mas ao mesmo tempo sinto que elas não me entendem 100%, pois sou eu que abortei, sou eu que passei por isso, é na minha trajetória que isso aconteceu, não gosto de pensar que isso vai me marcar pra todo sempre, pq acredito que não, o que quero dizer é que ao meu redor conheço somente uma menina que passou pelo o mesmo, me comparo com todas as outras que não passaram e que não sabem e se tudo der certo (o que torço muito) nunca saberam e provaram desse experiência amarga, no meu país Brasil, estatísticas apontam que 1 a cada 7 mulheres realizaram um aborto, outras pesquisas indicam que esse número é menor ainda, de 1 a cada 5, mas aqui é proibido e ilegal, então existe esse tabu, o silêncio em volta disso. me sinto como um peixe fora d'água com essa experiência, entendem? é uma sensação ruim, queria saber de vocês, como lidaram com ela e como seguiram suas vidas pós aborto.

Mods, please remove this if it is not okay for the the thread!

I have been seriously considering abortion basically since I was about 6 weeks pregnant. I am 18 weeks now.

I am very pro choice and have a toddler. I had the pills in my drawer but every time I thought I’d take them I couldn’t go through with it. Then I found a planned parenthood I could fly to for a procedural abortion (I’m in a total ban state). But I kept kicking the can down the road. I’ve been attending all of my prenatals and am working with MFM, so I have been treating this pregnancy seriously but I couldn’t help but be so scared that I am biting off more than I can chew. My thinking about abortion came from wanting to give my child the best life possible but not being sure that I mentally and physically could handle having 2 children.

Just a week and a half ago I started to feel a little bit of a bond with my baby,
Since they started moving. I have thought long and hard about my choice and I think I want to keep my baby. My big fear is the guilt after she is born, knowing that I so seriously considered abortion. I know I will love her as much as I love my son when she gets here and that is what scares me. Has anyone on here really considered abortion and then decided to continue the pregnancy? Did you struggle with guilt or bonding? I’m so scared I will never forgive myself.