u/Sorry_Clue7073

I’m 31 and unexpectedly pregnant. My fiance is 33. We both want children eventually, and had actually discussed starting to try around the end of this year/January. Nothing set in stone though but we’ve been talking losely about it.

The timing now feels really wrong. We have everything perfectly ready ”on paper” - high incomes, stable jobs, supportive families. But our relationship has been a bit unstable over the past few months with conflicts around chores etc. and we’ve only just started couples therapy. We also want to buy an apartment and settle into our life and figure out our issues first before we bring someone else into the mix**.**

Neither of us was happy or excited when we saw the positive test. We were both shocked and panicked. My fiance is supportive of whatever I decide

I don’t have a strong baby longing right now (never had), and a big part of me feels “not yet.”

When I imagine carrying the pregnancy to term, giving birth in April 2027 and actually living my life as a new mom with a baby, I feel anxious. It doesn’t make me feel excited or happy. Honestly, it feels like something I don’t want at all right now.

But I’m absolutely terrified of having an abortion and regretting it. I keep thinking about the baby this could have become and whether I would wish I had continued the pregnancy. My age is also stressing me out. I’m 32 next year and scared that if we have an abortion and try again later, I might struggle to get pregnant or regret waiting.

I have an appointment at an abortion clinic next week, and I’m lucky to be in a place where it is a completely normal procedure, but I’m still so conflicted and I can’t sleep, eat or function normally having to think about this decision to keep or abort.

For those who were in a similar situation - early 30s, wanting children eventually, everything set up ”on paper” but feeling the timing was wrong - how did you make your decision? Did you regret having an abortion later?