u/Weekly-Cry-6617

So after a lot of back and forth and indecisiveness I think it’s best I abort this baby. I just found out the gender and my partner ruined the moment. No matter how much I wanted this to work I realize he will never change, he’s a shitty person and he does not deserve such a blessing from someone like me. I want to be done with him. No attachments no coparenting nothing. I hate that he brought me this far to drop the ball now but truth be told I really believed he was open to working on himself. It sucks that such a beautiful journey was robbed from me and I fear I may not get the chance again I’m 32 but when I think of the life ahead of me. Single motherhood coparenting with someone I hate it’s not what I signed up for. I’m sad depressed. Still slightly unsure if I want to go through with the abortion but I will be scheduling that appointment just in case.

12 weeks and think I’m getting an abortion. I wanted this to work so bad but came to the realization that my partner sucks and does not deserve to given such a blessing by me nor does he deserve to be part of my life any longer.

I’m so sad because I was really looking forward to us starting a family. I do love him but love is not enough. I hate him for taking this dream away from me but single parenting (even if he is involved) is not what i envisioned for myself.

Doing pregnancy alone would break my heart.

Seeing pregnant woman now and thinking of the abortion is breaking my heart too.

Grieving the life I imagined is breaking my heart.

It’s all breaking me down I can’t stop crying.

I wanted to do this with him but it’s not healthy

Been with my boyfriend now for 2 years and now I’m pregnant. 32 yrs old. The relationship was good at first but over the time I started to see a lot in him that I didn’t like. Anger issues, trauma stemming from prison time, controlling, mean at times, no emotional intelligence, terrible conflict resolution skills, immature. However when we’re “good” I can tolerate the relationship and actually enjoy it but when he’s moody I can feel my anxiety heighten and I tend to walk on egg shells. He also has all of these expectations for who he thinks I should be and I made the mistake of trying to fill the roles. Mainly because I can understand some of it and I feel relationships are about compromise. But now it’s coming to a place where I realize no matter how many talks we have he will always revert back to who he truly is. He recently told me he wants to get therapy for his anger issues which I think is a good start. But now I’m in the predicament where I feel like my tunnel vision is showing me that we won’t last and I need to abort mission figuratively and literally. I just feel like I’m losing myself trying to please him all while he stays the same and doesn’t even try to be any version of what I want in a partner. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too dramatic or too sensitive as he likes to say or I’m looking for issues where there is none. Or maybe I’m giving up on someone that really wants to change. But it comes to a point where it’s draining and I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m left attached to him forever. We both want our baby and to work out but idk if it’s really worth it for me. We are two completely different ppl from different walks of life and I fear that I really believed we could work if we put in the work but I’m starting to see that I’m the only one putting in the real work here. Idk I’m on the fence about what to do right now but time is ticking. I’ve been monitoring all of our interactions lately and I’ve given myself a deadline. It’s just unfair that I have to make this decision because my partner can’t get it together when I thought this is what I wanted. And to clarify I don’t want to make him sound like this monster but he does have a lot of issues that make him the way he is whether he wants to be or believes he is or not

When the pregnancy test first said negative I was bummed.

When it said positive I was excited.

Some days I’m so excited for a baby.

Other days I’m like woah what are you doing abort mission.

Some days I realize I picked the wrong partner.

Other days I don’t care about my partner and I’m just excited for my baby.

I’m at the point right now where how I feel about my relationship is affecting how I feel about keeping my baby.

Also the state of the world, none of my friends having children, my freedom, I’m only 32 but then again I’m at that age. I wonder is this what I really want… I really don’t know? How will I know. Everyone says follow your heart but it’s 50/50.

Do I want kids? I think so? I used to? What identity am I trying to hold on to? Am I being influenced by what I see what I know?

When I think about abortion idk if I can go through with it. Thinking about keeping makes me feel like a failure for some reason. Idk what’s happening but I’m running out of time.

What was your determining factor? Do you regret your decision?

Meaning the relationship was going well and you broke up before the baby was born? How was coparenting? Did you regret keeping the baby? Did you mourn the family unit you thought you would have? Did the father move on? Have another baby? How do you feel whenever you have to see him? If you knew this would be the outcome would you have not done it? Or maybe you did make it to childbirth and broke up later? How was that experience? Are you truly still happy being a solo mom?

Been with my boyfriend now for 2 years and now I’m pregnant. 32 yrs old. The relationship was good at first but over the time I started to see a lot in him that I didn’t like. Anger issues, trauma stemming from prison time, controlling, mean at times, no emotional intelligence, terrible conflict resolution skills, immature. However when we’re “good” I can tolerate the relationship and actually enjoy it but when he’s moody I can feel my anxiety heighten and I tend to walk on egg shells. He also has all of these expectations for who he thinks I should be and I made the mistake of trying to fill the roles. Mainly because I can understand some of it and I feel relationships are about compromise. But now it’s coming to a place where I realize no matter how many talks we have he will always revert back to who he truly is. He recently told me he wants to get therapy for his anger issues which I think is a good start. But now I’m in the predicament where I feel like my tunnel vision is showing me that we won’t last and I need to abort mission figuratively and literally. I just feel like I’m losing myself trying to please him all while he stays the same and doesn’t even try to be any version of what I want in a partner. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too dramatic or too sensitive as he likes to say or I’m looking for issues where there is none. Or maybe I’m giving up on someone that really wants to change. But it comes to a point where it’s draining and I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m left attached to him forever. We both want our baby and to work out but idk if it’s really worth it for me. We are two completely different ppl from different walks of life and I fear that I really believed we could work if we put in the work but I’m starting to see that I’m the only one putting in the real work here. Idk I’m on the fence about what to do right now but time is ticking. I’ve been monitoring all of our interactions lately and I’ve given myself a deadline. It’s just unfair that I have to make this decision because my partner can’t get it together when I thought this is what I wanted. And to clarify I don’t want to make him sound like this monster but he does have a lot of issues that make him the way he is whether he wants to be or believes he is or not

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’ve had 3 abortions already. I’m 12 weeks and decided my partner and I are gonna do this but I’m having second thoughts. He’s supportive and I know he’ll be involved but I’m realizing he’s not the best partner for me. A part of me feels like I’m too late to just start over and find someone else, and what if I never do? What if this is my chance? I don’t think we’ll last and being a “single mother” is not the ideal life. I pictured being married to this perfect partner and that’s far from what I have. I have a boyfriend who I argue with every other week. Idk if Him being involved is enough for me. But then when I think of abortion I kind of don’t want to do it either. I’m genuinely torn. I think I’d be a great mom and have a lot of support but do I want to enter motherhood already feeling like I’m not going to have the family unit I’ve imagined? Do I even realllyyy want kids? Is it too late for me? It also doesn’t help that everyone is always so team f those kids nowadays. None of my close friends have kids everyone’s just living their best life. I feel like I’ve lived mine so that’s not the issue. I just didn’t imagine these would be my circumstances. I do love my partner but I don’t think we’re compatible and me being pregnant is making me realize that I don’t think we’ll last and that’s what scares me because I wanted the picture perfect family dynamic but I’m not 100 percent happy with how I feel right now. I feel like I’d regret having an abortion though but I’m scared I’ll regret it if I go through. Ladies who went through when you had doubt how do you feel now ? If I keep it then that’s it there’s no turning back but if get rid of it who’s to say I’ll have this chance again

I’m 31f and my partner is 29m and we’ve been together for 2 years. It’s been an up and down on and off roller coaster. Our biggest issue that I realize is that he can’t take accountability for anything. Whenever there’s a disagreement where he’s clearly in the wrong he’ll deflect or find anyway to may it my fault and then he somehow always becomes the victim and I become the one in the wrong. It’s to the point where most times I don’t even like confiding about him and anything because 9/10 I know how it’ll go. I believe his stint in prison has Stunted his emotional maturity coupled with the fact that everyone in his life enables his bullshit because they don’t want to be on the opposing end. However he’s quick to call me out about any little thing and I’m always receptive to hearing him out whether he’s right or wrong. I know all relationships have issues but for who I am these seem extreme. He’s not a terrible person but he has a lot of issues and trauma that have made him who he is today. Im just so tired of walking on eggshells and biting my tongue for the sake of peace when he’d never do the same. It’s just so scary to see someone who can never take accountability for anything they do. Even if it’s clear as day black and white he will find a way to not be the problem. It sucks because I do want us to work and I try so hard to fight for us to be better but no matter what eventually we will always bump heads and trying to resolve our issues always becomes toxic because of him. He’s super immature. What are some ways to make this work? Are these even normal issues ?

12 weeks pregnant & considering abortion. I’ve been w my bf on & off 2 years & it’s been helllll. This man spent 7 years in jail & comes from a toxic upbringing specifically an enabling mother who thinks her son does no wrong. Main issue is he has no emotional intelligence & anger issues. No matter how I try to approach situations with him he’ll always get upset, deflect, lack accountability & 9/10 throw an insult in there. & he’s always trying to call me out on things & most time I just take it to save the peace even if I think he’s dead wrong. We even argued twice & he said kill the baby but later apologized. I’m just so over this his lack of communication comprehension & understanding just makes me want to terminate this whole thing. When we’re good it’s okay but at least once a week there’s an issue. Idk how I feel about going through w this we barely last a week & im Supposed to believe we’ll last 9 months or 18 years. I don’t want it to be too late to terminate but every time we have a disagreement it just makes me think I shouldn’t do this. Truth be told no matter how much I want to think so he’s not a good person and his trauma has left him severely damaged. In a perfect world yes I want this to work with us but if it doesn’t I don’t want to be stuck with a baby by someone like him. I don’t want to be a mom that bad. Am I being dramatic. I try so hard to make this relationship work but once a person is broken there’s only so much you can do. Idk he’s not terrible but the issues he has are not small ones & no matter what it seems he’s not even willing to try to change like he’s genuinely incapable of seeing any wrong doing & acts like I’m the problem which is far from reality. I actually give him way too much just to keep the peace. To add I’m 32 I do want children and lowkey feel like this is my opportunity but when we get into it I question everything. Single mom life even if he’s involved isn’t what I want but then again I could move on & still not last with another person & what if I feel the same. This sucks I wish he could just be freaking normal