r/Maternity

Puede ser algo físico, emocional o incluso algo pequeño que simplemente no esperabas.

Siempre escuchamos sobre las náuseas, los antojos y el cansancio, pero siento que hay muchísimas experiencias del embarazo de las que casi nadie habla.

Para las que ya pasaron por un embarazo: **¿qué fue lo que más las sorprendió y qué les habría gustado saber desde el principio?**

Creo que las respuestas pueden ayudar muchísimo a otras mujeres que están pasando por esto por primera vez. ❤️

My due date is Dec 25. My company (small office, ~10 people) is closed Dec 21–Jan 1 for the holidays and reopens Jan 4. No one is working during this time.

I’m planning to take 16 weeks of leave (I’m eligible for up to 20 through my state’s PFML, so I have some cushion). My thought: if I give birth during the closure, it makes sense for my official leave to start Jan 4 when the office reopens, rather than “spending” leave days on a week nobody’s working anyway.

There’s no precedent at my company for this — I’d essentially be setting it. My boss will ultimately decide.

It feels odd to me to use a company holiday benefit — one that applies to literally everyone in the office — as part of my mat leave. But I also don’t have a great counterargument if my boss says “you asked for 16 weeks, why do you care when they fall?

Would love help thinking through how to actually message this to my boss, or hearing how others have navigated something similar.

I know this is probably an overreaction but I ate some unpasteurised Gorgonzola cheese this evening without evening thinking! It was melted in a pasta but now I’m panicking about listeria obvs. Anyone else done this and been fine? I’m 16.5 weeks. Thanks all!

I’m in my early 30s and financially stable. I’ve been seeing a guy for around two months and have just found out I’m pregnant. Needless to say this was not planned and these are not the circumstances in which I wanted to get pregnant - this is the first time I’ve ever been pregnant.

I haven’t told anyone yet. Speaking to an abortion clinic tomorrow. I’m very maternal and I’ve always wanted to be a mum but my family would be so so disappointed in me due to these circumstances and I’d have to accept I’d be a single mum (idk how the guy I’m seeing will take it - ultimately even if you’re married I feel like you have to be confident you can take care of the baby on your own).

It’s a combination of the outside pressures (judgement from family, friends and work) and also having to put my plans on hold that are making me think now is not the right time. On the other hand, this is a little baby inside me. I already have a lot of symptoms, the pregnancy is already affecting me. Abortion scares me and I question whether I’ll ever have this chance again.

I’d be really grateful for any advice from someone who has been in the same situation - how did you make your decision? I keep hoping inspiration will strike / the answer will just come to me but it hasn’t. I do feel like either way I would be fine but I think the harder option is going through with the pregnancy and having the baby. Is that my answer?

Hello hello!

My sister is almost 9 months pregnant, ready to pop any day now. Couldn’t be prouder of her, she’s handled her first pregnancy like a champion.

I know a lot of people tend to get the baby gifts for when it’s born, but the baby has plenty of stuff already and I want to get my sister some things instead. For her, something useful or just something she’s going to enjoy.

After anyone here gave birth, what some things you wished you’d have gotten for yourself?

Let me start this off with saying, there are so many things that I stupidly did not think about before becoming pregnant. And that I stupidly looked over when we got together at the age of 20. That is on me. I’ve (23F) been in a relationship with my current boyfriend (25M) for three years. When we first got together, he was in barber school, and working as a pizza delivery man. I worked in sales full time, and did nails in a shop on weekends. I had my own place, two bedroom, and a car payment, on top of helping my physically disabled mother and younger siblings financially. I made enough money to do this comfortably and still have a fair enough of money left over throughout the week for regular expenses such as gas, food, a bit of savings and the occasional treat. But it did not exceed this, because the economy we live in can be brutal, and sales are not always consistent. When I met my boyfriend, I had the mentality to not judge someone for their finances, but for their character, morals and values. In the beginning things were great, but eventually he started staying at my house every single day, and when I would try to put up boundaries, ask him to go home or put some space between us he’d make me feel really bad. This went on for months. It’s not that I didn’t want to be around him, but I didn’t feel like it was fair for him to basically be living with me while I handled all of the bills, especially having two people in the house then raising cost of the water bill, groceries, and electric bill since he always set my thermostat to be colder than what I usually liked it at. Because he was in school, I know he did not make enough money to help with bills, and so instead of asking him to contribute I put space between us instead of having him basically live with me rent free. After a year and a half he finished barber school, is now in a shop and we’ve since moved somewhere a lot more affordable that we’d split the costs of living. A lot of times he’d be irresponsible with his money (he is a vaper and a smoker) so sometimes his last would go towards a new vape or cart. He also eats out a lot, even though I am an amazing cook he is very picky and is used to fast food, specifically pizza which he orders a lot, and will eat almost two pizzas by himself. Within the past 6 months the company I did sales for had laid everyone off, so now I do nails full time. Things got better with him for a few months financially, we got to a point where things would fall on me so much that we started seeing a couples therapist because we were about to split up because I couldn’t handle it anymore. Within that time period i got pregnant, and because things were better I decided to keep the pregnancy, and I’m now 6 months pregnant. I’ve had a very hard pregnancy, suffering from HG which has dramatically decreased the amount I’m able to work. I now have money to still pay half of the bills, but usually I don’t have extra money past occasional grocery trips, and providing everything for the house (toiletries, soaps, hygiene products, etc) since I’ve gotten pregnant with it being so hard, I’m now in a position where although I can pay my half, it’s too hard to work enough to pay it all on my own- which he knows and sees I am less likely to leave the relationship. He has gotten worse financially again, sometimes falling short on his end of the bills leaving me having to overwork while dealing with HG, stress, and make up for where he falls short. This is very worrying because after I give birth, I will be 100% relying on him to support us financially because I will have a child to take care of and do not have family to help me with childcare while I work. The only thing I can do now is try to save as much money as possible (which is hard because he falls short so often) and have a month or two of childcare saved up so I can work and pay for childcare (this is assuming I leave the relationship because he isn’t playing his part so why keep him around anyway.) It’s just that with expensive as it is, to pay all of the bills and childcare is going to be very hard.If it gets to a point where I have to stress and take this route, I absolutely cannot see myself staying with him even if he is contributing some because I’d have so much resentment for the relationship. It’s frustrating because he has no ambition to do better. There are times he falls short and instead of trying to do DoorDash, or Amazon flex (which he’s approved for) he relies on me to pick up where he falls short. Every. Time. And if I simply just don’t contribute where he falls short, we will lose our apartment or fall behind on bills. I’m to the point now where if I weren’t pregnant, I’d make him go and be able to work full time and do it all myself, not being in a stressful situation such as this. But I’m too attached to my 6 month old fetus so get an abortion so late, or even think of doing it with as big as my baby is now. I feel so stuck. Before pregnancy, i was independent. I had my own apartment, a car, a career, income, and responsibilities that I was successfully managing. I had the ability to say, “This relationship isn’t working for me, so I can leave.”
Now im pregnant, dealing with HG, my ability to work has been severely reduced, and im looking at a future where i may have to depend financially on the same person ive repeatedly had to compensate for. And I know it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant based off of better circumstances that I knew could possibly be temporary, because they changed drastically.

Edit- I cannot stay with family as I used to support my mom financially and she now lives with other family members, there is no space for me and it wouldn’t be an option. I’m basically on my own
Another edit for the “it’s all your fault, this is what you wanted” comments. NOBODY is perfect. I am in my early 20s where people are notorious for not being perfect. Please be easy on me.

Please give me tips and let me know what you think.

Im 20 years old and did NOT planned to get pregnant. I kinda knew i was pregnant before i took the test and thought that ”okay if I am pregnant i will just get an abortion.”
But when i later looked at that stick i freaked out. Now i don’t know what to do.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom and raise my own child. I know that if I have this child it will have sooo many people around and would be so loved. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to give the child everything in this world but I know for a fact that i will be a great mom.

But here is my life situation:
I live in a small apartment (one room and kitchen) with my cat. I work in a primary school as a substitute teacher (i loveeee my job). I earn 1400$-1800$ a month depending on how much I work. My rent is about 450$ a month and i do not have any education or whatever. So as to provide for a child is going to be hard. I live in Sweden so we do have different contribution if you’re a single parent.
I haven’t told the father yet that I am pregant. We have no contact at the moment and we were kinda over before i knew. I know that he doesn’t want to have a child at all. But he is a good man so i think he would help me but I don’t know.

I am really scared that I am going to regret this for the rest of my life if i do an abortion. I am never going to know if it was a boy or a girl. I would never know what the eye color was. I really want to be a mom.

Someone said to me that if you can’t decide, think about YOU and what YOU wanna do in your life and see if that matches having a child or not. I thought about that… and what i feel like i wanna do is to have children and a man and travel the world. I could travel the world with my children.

My family would support me either way if I keep it or not.

So… I think that if i have this baby, i would never regret it. If I don’t, maybe I’ll regret it for the rest of my life I don’t know. But it’s really a bad time tho.

I just wish someone could tell me exactly what to do.

​

Buongiorno a tutti, vorrei porre un quesito.

Dal 19 febbraio 2025 al 9 agosto 2025 ho usufruito dell'interdizione anticipata per lavoro a rischio, disposta con provvedimento dell'Ispettorato del Lavoro.

Successivamente, dal 9 agosto 2025 al 24 gennaio 2026, è iniziato il normale periodo di maternità obbligatoria, per il quale era stato regolarmente trasmesso anche il certificato telematico di gravidanza. La relativa domanda era stata presentata verso la fine del settimo mese ed è stata accettata dall'INPS senza problemi.

Solo nell'aprile 2026 ho scoperto che, per ottenere l'indennità relativa al periodo di interdizione anticipata, era necessario presentare anche una specifica domanda all'INPS. Mi sono quindi attivata immediatamente e ho presentato la domanda, anche perché mi era stato riferito che per l'indennità di maternità vale il termine di prescrizione di un anno.

Nonostante ciò, la domanda relativa al periodo di interdizione è stata respinta manualmente dall'INPS, senza che nella pratica sia indicata una motivazione chiara.

Secondo voi, quale potrebbe essere il motivo del rigetto?

Ringrazio anticipatamente chi saprà darmi qualche indicazione. Chiedo gentilmente di evitare commenti del tipo "la legge non ammette ignoranza": purtroppo si tratta di una procedura di cui non ero a conoscenza e che, a quanto pare, non era stata indicata nemmeno dal patronato.

My girlfriend and i have been together just under a year. Shes 24 I'm 22. She has her own place. I live with my parents. She already has a 2 year old son from another guy however hes not in her life anymore. She never wanted to have him but her dad forced her to have the child. Her mom is the primary caretaker of the child and her mom lives with her temporarily. She said she couldnt handle being a mom and didnt want more kids. I said the same when we met. I didnt want kids now. Im find with her son and i understand the situation she went through. She's the best woman I've met and she supports me and loves me to the fullest. We are a very happy couple. Recently in june we had an abortion because we weren't ready and it was very scary for us. Mind you she was using depo provera and plan b every time i finished inside after that. Recently we found she is pregnant again. We have no idea how. It is super unlikely and we were using the correct precautions to prevent this from happening. Part of us think this is just meant to happenn idk if im ready to be a father. She doesnt know whether she's ready to be a mom she couldnt be the first time. She says she cannot go through another abortion tho. She says she wants to keep it now and in some way i do too. Her mom and my brother are very supportive right now about it. However my parents aren't. They're saying she faked using depo to stay with me, this child will ruin my life, shes not stable enough to have a child etc. Im just not sure what to do right now.

Hi everyone! I could really use some advice on a job situation.
I work in corporate in NYC and have been looking for a new job on and off because I’ve felt pretty stuck and unfulfilled in my current role. For context, I started looking well before I was pregnant. I’m currently 6–7 weeks pregnant.

I’m now in the final interview stages with what is essentially my dream company. It’s an amazing, reputable company, the role is exactly the type of position I’ve wanted to move into, and I’ve really loved everyone I’ve met throughout the process. Honestly, this is an opportunity I could have only imagined progressing with.

The tricky part is that I found out I was pregnant when I was already in the third interview stage. I’ve continued through the process and haven’t mentioned it. I’m now potentially very close to an offer, and my plan was to disclose the pregnancy if/when they extend an offer.

I feel really conflicted about this. I don’t feel like I’m lying, because I obviously didn’t know when I initially applied/interviewed, and I don’t think I should have to disclose something this personal during the interview process. But I also feel guilty knowing that, if I were to start, I’d likely go on maternity leave around March 2027. I understand from the employer’s perspective that they’d be hiring and training me only for me to be out for several months relatively soon after starting.
At the same time, I really, really want this role. My husband and I have talked through the financial side, and even if the company doesn’t offer a maternity leave package that I’m eligible for, we don’t anticipate it being an impossible financial situation.

My biggest concern isn’t even the leave itself—it’s whether they’ll still want me once they find out. I’m also worried about getting all the way through the process, receiving an offer, disclosing, and then having the offer rescinded or the company suddenly deciding they don’t want me anymore.

So, how would you approach this?

Would you continue through the interview process and only disclose after receiving an offer? Would you disclose before an offer is made? Has anyone been in a similar situation, particularly when starting a new job while pregnant?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has navigated this before—especially from an HR/recruiting perspective.

Pozdrav zenama na ovoj aplikaciji 🙋🏻‍♀️
Dakle necu duljit, decku i meni se dogodila neplanirana situacija….odnosno dogodila se malo prije nego sto smo planirali. Prva mi je trudnoca pa trebam vase savjete kako postupati? Sto je najbitnije? Izvadila sam krv jutros i razina beta hcg je poprilicno visoka tako da sam se narucila sad i za prvi uzv. Ne znam trebam li posebno paziti na neke stvari? Imate li kakve preporuke bilo sta se tice trudnoce ili opreme za novorodencad? Primam iskreno svaki savjet jer nemam bas u okruzenju koga pitat trenutno, ne zelimo govorit nikome dok ne produ prva tri mjeseca i dok ne saznamo jel sve ok s bebom…

So I've juat got home to see a letter saying I've got a health visitor coming in about a months times.

My issue is my partner and I currently living separately at our own parents houses until we can move into our flat. The visitor will be visting my parents house where im nit bring the baby home to.

15-16 days after the health visitor ill be moving into my new flat where we will then setting up for the baby arrival. We have a month from move in day and babies due date.

Also half the baby/ flat stuff at split between the two house we are currently living at.

Should I be worried about this health visit or will they be understanding.

No one told me that a health visitor comes before baby arrives so we haven't thought about it. Only thought about after birth vist.

Any advice would be great.

Last night I found out my best friend is 3 months pregnant, she only found out last week. We are in our late 20s and her and her partner of 11 years have always said they didn’t want children so it’s quite a shock for everyone. Im still finding it hard to believe but I cant talk about it with anyone because she’s still waiting to tell some family before making it known to everyone else in our circle. They’re keeping the baby and seem to be happy, albeit nervous and unsure about the whole thing. So I’m here to ask what I can do to help ease that anxiety and make her feel more excited. Gifts? Any particular conversations? In your experience, what made this time easier? Basically, what do I need to know as her friend who will be with nearby throughout this experience?

Wondering if others have found these products useful to have. If so, which brand did you get? I did a little research and it was saying online not to use them so I held off on ordering one but I could see how in some situations it could be useful to have

For added context, I’m planning to give birth at a birth center. It is a bit far from my home so I plan to head to the area once contractions start. Currently 5 months pregnant

im thinking of terminated 5 week pregnancy but i feel horrible for my husband he wants the baby , im 10 months postpartum had a difficult pregnancy and also postpartum depression the first few months and i just don’t want to feel like that ever again, i was just starting to feel like myself have a routine with my baby i didnt see myself having another baby n not this soon , i dont know what to do.

38W1D today and still haven’t had any contractions. Baby is head down but is still pretty high up. They’re scheduling me for another growth scan next week at 38W6D to see if we should discuss induction because she was already 7lbs11oz at my 36W scan.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the decision of induction. I think it’s a personal choice, and I really wanted to experience going into labor naturally (obviously unless induction is medically necessary). I’ve read that having a larger baby doesn’t really mean you need an induction medically…but looking for experiences there.

Anyone been in a similar position where it doesn’t seem like things are moving along, and still able to go into labor without induction? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself - still have 2 weeks until due date.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’ve had 3 abortions already. I’m 12 weeks and decided my partner and I are gonna do this but I’m having second thoughts. He’s supportive and I know he’ll be involved but I’m realizing he’s not the best partner for me. A part of me feels like I’m too late to just start over and find someone else, and what if I never do? What if this is my chance? I don’t think we’ll last and being a “single mother” is not the ideal life. I pictured being married to this perfect partner and that’s far from what I have. I have a boyfriend who I argue with every other week. Idk if Him being involved is enough for me. But then when I think of abortion I kind of don’t want to do it either. I’m genuinely torn. I think I’d be a great mom and have a lot of support but do I want to enter motherhood already feeling like I’m not going to have the family unit I’ve imagined? Do I even realllyyy want kids? Is it too late for me? It also doesn’t help that everyone is always so team f those kids nowadays. None of my close friends have kids everyone’s just living their best life. I feel like I’ve lived mine so that’s not the issue. I just didn’t imagine these would be my circumstances. I do love my partner but I don’t think we’re compatible and me being pregnant is making me realize that I don’t think we’ll last and that’s what scares me because I wanted the picture perfect family dynamic but I’m not 100 percent happy with how I feel right now. I feel like I’d regret having an abortion though but I’m scared I’ll regret it if I go through. Ladies who went through when you had doubt how do you feel now ? If I keep it then that’s it there’s no turning back but if get rid of it who’s to say I’ll have this chance again

Hello, FTM.. I had a very close friend for about 4-5 years, but we kind of fell apart; there was a very sad event that occurred in their family, and I didn’t message or call every day, and she got upset with me and we drifted. My reasoning was because I honestly did not know how often was appropriate to keep messaging and checking in. Maybe I made the wrong decision, and we’ve never recovered from it, from about 6 years ago. She apologized to me, but it’s never been the same.

Their parent suddenly passed away, and the funeral is on the same day/timeframe as an all day class for labor, delivery, post partum, care, pediatrician, sleep, etc. that we had to get special admittance for. The next class, which only covers some, is the same day as our baby shower, that I did not encourage, but his mom wants to throw because it’s our first. They do have visitation the day before the funeral, so I’m not sure if attending that would at least show I’m trying. Due date is in 1 month.

I am honestly lost in this situation. I feel horrible, and maybe I’m just a horrible person. I don’t know what to do. This is my first pregnancy and baby, and I’m one of those who does better with information/ease of anxiety, but I feel horrible for not being there for my friend when it’s so sad of a situation.

Any advice would be helpful.

Hi guys,

Please do not judge me, but this is my situation right now and I don't even know why it is all messy out of nowhere.

So basically, I am pregnant. Exactly 21 weeks and 1 day as of today. I live in the UK, here the legal limit is 23 weeks and 6 days.

I'll give you some context now: this was a planned pregnancy, both me and my bf are 28 yo, live in the UK and we are together from 3 years. Of course we do live together as well. We just didn't expect it will happen THIS QUICK.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, I was very clear in my mind with my plan and I wanted very much to keep this baby. I was extremely attached since the very beginning and the only thought of medical abortion was making me cry. Another thing why I didn't feel to abort, is that I knew very early in my pregnancy that I was carrying a little boy. This made me attach even more emotionally because I never had a present male figure at home and I don't know how does it feel to have it.

However, I knew logically that it was a not very mature choice for various reasons:

1. I will be made redundant in September.

2. We are renting a property, but it is not exactly child friendly. For example: we do not have space for a nursery since it is a 1 bed flat.

3. I would like to pursue my career goals further.

So, at the time, even if logically I knew abortion made sense, I preferred to not pursue it because the only thought was making me emotional.

Going further with the pregnancy, I don't know EXACTLY what the hell happened, but I began to develop this FEAR of the unknown and I am freaked out.

I thought again to the list of logical reasons on why I need to abort, and to this other fears were added, such as:

1. Not being responsible enough and not being able to care for another human being.

2. The fact my bf has a full time job, so stable income, doesn't mean that I am happy to rely on him, even though he is happy and ready. All my life I used to not rely on anyone because I feel extremely guilty to be a burden.

3. I pretty much love my independence and now I fear that a baby could take that away from me.

4. I have body dysmorphia. This situation that I do not have control over my body is killing me. I hate my body and I want to return to my previous condition. (This is not a right reason to abort, but it's what I feel.)

Also, my parents, even though they were not exactly the perfect model of parenthood, don't agree with my choice and they don't even talk to me. They made me feel guilty and dirty just because I am pregnant. But my parents said it to the world already, of course not proudly, but it was more like:" look what she has done".

Because of this, I HATE that people know that I am pregnant and I always try to hide it as best as I can. My family and my relatives always saw me as a career-driven individual who didn't have time for kids. I hate to break this idea that they have of me and I hate to feel judged, because I KNOW all of them are judging me and my situation hard.

So when i was 18 weeks, I scheduled one appointment with an abortion clinic, I attended, but I felt I should not be there. That that was not my place. I said all my worries to the clinician as well and of course she said that If I am not sure 100% they cannot proceed, which I understand. She said that there is not always a right moment and she thought I needed to be honest on what I want with myself and think less with my head.

I thought I was ready so I scheduled another appointment when I was 20 weeks, but didn't go through because they changed my appointment from 10 to 8:30 last minute, and I was convinced it was still 10.

So this is the thing: I feel pulled both ways, I don't know what to do and I feel very much scared because I am reaching the legal limit.

I know you cannot choose for me, but please help me navigate my feelings. I never found myself so undecided on what to do. Usually, I always have a plan and I pursue what I have decided instantly. I don't wait. So I have no clue what is happening to me for this decision.

I generally think pregnancy is a blessing and I am also 100% pro choice. Women can do what the hell they want with their body. I always supported this and I will continue to support it.

Thank you for reading all this 😭