r/Maternity

Hello! I have no concept of how short term disability works, if I sign up now and it goes into effect September and I give birth mid august, use 3 weeks of PTO can I still utilize the short term disability for the other 3 weeks or does it not count?

I’m 39 years old, living in Germany, and recently found out I’m pregnant. This pregnancy was completely unexpected, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

For some background, I’m married, and my husband is 50. We already have two children, ages 16 and 8. We have stable jobs, a good marriage, and a comfortable life. If someone looked at us from the outside, they’d probably think we were in a good position to have another child.

But life is rarely that simple.

I have Type 2 diabetes, and before I found out I was pregnant, I’d been taking Mounjaro for almost two years. I stopped immediately after the positive test, but I’m terrified about the possible risks because of my diabetes, my age, and the medication.

Career-wise, this is also the worst timing imaginable. After years of hard work, I was recently promoted into a leadership position at a large international organization. I’ve also just been given responsibility for leading a major operational project that will probably be the biggest challenge of my career so far. It’s an opportunity I’ve worked incredibly hard for, and I can’t help but wonder how much this pregnancy could change that.

Financially, we’re finally in a place where we can breathe again. We recently finished paying off a significant debt, and for the first time in a long while, it feels like we’re getting ahead instead of just keeping up.

If we have another baby, we’ll be back to paying for childcare, all the baby expenses, and everything else that comes with raising a child in Germany. It’s not that we can’t afford it, but it would definitely change the financial freedom we’ve only just regained.

Another thing weighing on me is that we don’t really have a village. My mother lives in Finland, the rest of my family is in Asia, and my husband’s mother lives about an hour and a half away and has her own life and commitments. We don’t have grandparents nearby who can casually babysit or step in when we’re exhausted or overwhelmed. We would be doing this almost entirely on our own.

Then there’s the emotional side.

Our oldest is 16, and our youngest is 8. We were finally getting to a stage where life felt easier. We can travel without strollers and diapers. Everyone sleeps through the night. The kids are becoming more independent, and it feels like we’ve reached a new chapter as a family.

Starting over with a newborn feels both beautiful and incredibly daunting.

Some days I feel excited and think maybe this baby came into our lives for a reason. Other days I wonder if I’m only considering continuing the pregnancy because I’m afraid I’ll regret ending it.

At the same time, I worry about the opposite. What if I continue the pregnancy because I fear regret, but later resent how much it changes our lives? That thought scares me too.

My husband has been supportive, but neither of us has an answer. We both know that whichever decision we make, there’s no going back.

I’m not looking for anyone to tell me what to do. I know strangers on the internet can’t make this decision for me.

What I am hoping for is to hear from people who have actually been in a similar situation.

*Did you continue an unexpected pregnancy in your late 30s or 40s?
*Did you decide not to, and how do you feel about it today?
*If your career was finally taking off, how did you weigh that against becoming a parent again?
*Did you have little or no family support? How did that influence your decision?
*Looking back now, what do you wish someone had told you before you made your choice?

Please be kind. I’m not looking for validation of one decision over the other. I’m just trying to hear real experiences from people who’ve stood where I’m standing now, because this feels like the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

Does anyone know if theres any pregnancy yoga. Pilates, or aqua aerobics classes being run in Galway?

If possible in the East side of town.

TIA

Hello! This is my first pregnancy that got this far (I am 13 weeks) and for much of the last five weeks I have done nothing but lay in bed or on the couch. I mean, literally, nothing else. Usually 2 or 3 days a week I force myself to do something because I feel so guilty but even that is only something small, like going for a walk or going to the grocery store. Is this normal? I am a teacher and have had off work from weeks 9 on, which I feel was lucky as the nausea and vomiting had been awful up until the past few days. However, even though the past few days have been better I still have done nothing but lay around. I am feeling a lot of guilt about this and am wondering if this is normal? I’m just so tired and I know in a few weeks when I go back to school my life is going to be exhausting again so I almost feel like I’m trying to soak it up while I can. Is this awful for the baby? Has anyone else taken a few weeks to literally just veg out?

okay I need some heavy advice. I just found out I was pregnant around 4 days ago. Im 23 and have never been pregnant. Im the oldest of 7 tho so I do know pretty much everything about raising a baby but obviously it's diffrent when yOur the mother. Growing up I never wanted kids since I had always lived with them but now I'm 23 and living in a house with my boyfriend that we own. Im a shift manager at starbucks tho but I do make decent money. My boyfriend is a IT technician and also gets pretty decent pay. We live upstate so our lives are pretty calm and family friendly. My boyfriend isn't ready for a baby and would rather I have an abortion but he does support any decision I make and will be there for me. I just don't know what to do at all. Ive never ben good at decision making anyway because I can always see both sides working out. Once me and my boyfriend attracted going out I started to actually want kids and could very much see that for my future. But now I'm here and I'm only about 4 weeks so its very early where I can just take the abortion pill and walk away with bleeding and cramps but at the same time I grew up heavily in the Christian church and obviously they view abortion as a really bad thing. Ive always always been pro choice as I strongly believe no women should ever be told what to do with there body. But after picking up the pill something in me started to feel very very wrong . Like I was making a mistake or doing something very bad. Morally its really started to mess with me because again ive always been pro choice and didn't see a fetus or anything like that as a life until birth but now when its my own body those same thoughts don't run thru my head knowing that what's inside of me will and could be a living thing one day. Ive talked to my friends and family and have a very strong emotional support group. Part of me feels also like I'm in a very blessed situation for what I'm in like I have my boyfriend by my side I also have so much support in this I never realized and financially I'm in a decent spot. TO me if feels like I'm doing something bad for no reason since other people actually need to have abortions since there in rougher spots and here I am fine but just not sure if I'm ready or wanting kids just yet which I'm sure is still valid but to me it doesn't feel like a good excuse or something I'm not sure.

Hi everyone! I’m a FTM 31 weeks! I own a gym and I am a trainer there. I see clients 3 days/week and my days range from 3-6 hours long.

I am due Aug 30th. My plan on returning to work is that I will ease back in with just 1 day/week after 9 weeks, so starting first week of November. From there, I’ll gradually take back my clients so that by the end of November I’ll be fully back to my 3 days/week schedule.

Important to note that while my job is physical, I am not doing the workout with clients, I am not shuffling weights around for them, but I am setting up stations at time and cleaning up after sessions.

So my question is: is my plan reasonable? Please give me all the advice!!

Hello, I am the husband of my 39 week pregnant wife. We are both in our 20’s. I want to get something for a little lighthearted stress relief during labor for my wife. The OBGYN suggested a nerf gun, which I like the sound of, but I was wondering if y’all knew of any good potential stress relief objects or tactics? Thank you!

Not eligible for maternity leave since haven’t been at the company long enough, but am eligible for Short Term Disability.

Hi all! I am a FTM at 31 weeks 27 y/o. My pregnancy has been relatively easy and unproblematic. Have been able to stay active (with modifications, dealing with a hamstring tendon strain).

I am a trainer/own a gym. I work 3 days/week at the studio training clients. I work about 6 hours on 1 of those days, and about 3 on the other 2. My clients know they are expected to re-rack their own weights, most of my clients don’t need much demo for exercises as they have been working with me for years, and thankfully they help me wipe down their mats. All in all, I’m alternating between standing and sitting so it’s not too much physical movement but it’s a lot of energy.

That being said, I’m due Aug 30th and planned to work up until Fri Aug 28th. Am I being totally naive??? I’m currently starting feel some serious fatigue and I’m getting a little worried still being 9 weeks out.

I feel like I can regret this decision but I’m considering adoption instead of having a biological child because I’m too afraid of the birth and I think pregnancy is disgusting. It really breaks my heart and I have no woman that understands me to talk about this…

My job had a merger laid off everyone full time and kept only us contractors. Our contracts got cut from 2 years to 3 month basis.

I was already pregnant when this happened and hoped to hang in there to keep my maternity leave but have been searching with no luck in the meantime.

I am one more extension away but in the last round I was never given an end date simply told "through June". Even when I asked for clarity there was no straight answer but end of June would mark 3 months. Found out through OOO automatic email responses that both managers that could provide answers thought it would be a good idea to go on vacation & not say anything. So I just show up to work and hope my credentials still work. It's dreadful. There are quite a few of us in the same position.

Starting to feel so hopeless and stressed about what's next. I have a partner with a reliable job and health insurance for himself and the baby when he comes but he can't cover bills on his own. I have maybe 3 months worth of savings and unemployment is almost nothing in my state.

Is there any world where I find a job this far along before Im due? Even if I do I wouldn't get to spend anytime with my newborn which is heartbreaking.

I am so lost and have no idea what to do. Has anyone else experienced a layoff during pregnancy? How did things work out for you?

Has anyone been in this position? I am due to qualify in September. I have just found out I am pregnant which was a massive shock due to my other 2 children being ivf! Partner was booked in for vasectomy next month. Unsure of what to do. Baby would be born after I qualify however jobs, (if theres jobs) i wouldn't be entitled to any maternity pay what so ever.

Absolutely panicking

Me and my husband have been talking about having our fourth baby, and this time I don’t want to tell anybody until the baby is born. With my first three pregnancies, everybody knew from the positive test. Looking back, it was honestly stressful. There were so many opinions, questions, and people touching my belly. Now with the economy, I feel like the opinions would be even stronger, and I just don’t want to hear them.

This isn’t me trying to be mean. I just want this pregnancy to be between me, my husband, and God. I want peace and want to see what God does when a blessing is kept quiet.

I’m 5’4”, around 209 lbs, and already carry weight in my stomach. Any other plus-size moms keep their pregnancy private? What clothes helped hide your belly, especially around church?

So I had unprotected intercourse on May 11 with this girl one time. I did not ejaculate one time but only when she gave me oral sex.

On May 28th , she told me that her period was supposed to come on May 18 but did not come. At first I panicked and believed that she may be pregnant but then things did not add up. For one she won’t show me any proof that she is pregnant even though she is adamant about being so. Next when we first met around the beginning of may she told me she was on her period so she did not want to see me.

June rolls around and she told me she was going to get abortion but I must see her first. When she called me in the beginning of June she sounded a little intoxicated and called me at 130am asking me to get her from the club I asked her why and she said because she wanted to talk about what’s going on. I told her no pick another time and a hour later at 230am she called me again and told to come get her so we can have sex. I told her no and I thought it was weird that she was doing that. She kept telling me she doesn’t feel well and was throwing up in the midst of this conversation because she was pregnant but I thought it was weird because it’s only been almost 3 weeks since we had sex and your having symptoms already?

Long story short she keeps saying she wants to have an abortion but we must keep having sex or have sex again before she goes and get it and it’s throwing me off. She was calling me everyday trying to make me nervous which I was but once I started noticing the red flags I stopped answering and she stopped calling me. Am I tripping or does this not make sense? I thought she would have at least came on that period 6 days after we had sex and missed the next one but that don’t even align with the day we met and she was on her period because if that was the case she would’ve had 2 periods in may. I hope I am correct and this girl is lying. Have had sex with plenty of girls this is the first one to tell me she is pregnant and I do not believe it at all.

Every time she has some type of event (concert, party, etc) she calls me the day prior and sees if I have to work. Tells me she wants me to come get her from the event so we can talk and have sex and go get a abortion the next day but I whole heartedly think she is going to have sex with me then tell me she has been lying. I thought about just doing it but she is giving psychopath and I honestly don’t wanna see her.

So I’m 31 weeks pregnant, I have a full time job that I’m satisfied with. But lately myself and other colleagues have not been satisfied with the management and how they don’t want to cross train when we ask.

So I applied for some other jobs and I’ve been called for an interview. My question is would it be “bad timing” to take the interview knowing I’ll be going on maternity leave soon? I don’t want the opportunity to slip away because of my pregnancy.

Hello. I am 36 and pregnant for the first time. I am also around 300 pounds. I know there are significant risk factors for my baby caused by both of those facts. I’m only about 5 weeks (just missed a period on Thursday and took a test Saturday. Took 5 actually.) My first doctor’s appointment to “confirm” pregnancy is August 5th. I have some questions.

1). August 5th seems like a long time away. Is that a normal amount of time to wait?

2). Are there things I can do to help the embryo stay strong and make it to the appointment?

3). Should I tell my husband and family or wait until after my appointment? (I know it’s up to my discretion, but I would like advice)

4). Will doing strenuous things like lifting and doing hard deep cleaning put me at a greater risk of complications in this first trimester?

5). How do I not worry about things like this?

Thank you!

I recently found out that I’m in my early pregnancy (3 weeks 5 days). Firstly, I’m just blank and overwhelmed at the same time. Second, there is too much information I found on the internet. It seems like if I don’t start prenatals, and start eating XX-YY amounts of folic acid/ iron/ protein etc. then I’m doing a huge sin. I want someone to genuinely give me a very concise approach on what all to do next, step by step.

Problem/Goal: 24 weeks pregnant na po partner ko pero hindi pa din visible yung tyan niya 4’10 po height niya and petite type po siya normal lang po ba to?

Context: hindi pa po kami nag papaultrasound nang partner ko kasi ayaw niya pa pero mag woworry na ako sa baby namin kasi parang hindi visible yung tyan niya unlike sa ibang tyan nang buntis na same weeks din samin. Normal po ba to kasi payat siya before and maliit lang siya na babae? Mag papa CAS naman na po kami ngayon katapusan. Pero nag pa consult na kami sa OB before and lahat nang need na vitamins is binili ko para sakanya. Pero hindi siya nakain nang mga masustansya pagkain. Dapat po ba ako mag alala?