u/Dramatic-Manner2879

Assess yourself before assessing a potential

To those in the search please consider the following points. We often look for what we want in a spouse and neglect what we bring ourselves.

  1. Mindset - Do you truly feel prepared to take that step and enter marriage? When you speak to a potential, have intention. Ask yourself: are you pursuing this with a set timeline, or is it merely boredom? If it’s the latter, walk away rather than prolong something you’re not ready for at that point in your life.

  2. Availability - You may be balancing work, studies, family commitments, and other responsibilities. Do you genuinely have the time and capacity to now get to know someone for marriage? Can they be an addition to your current schedule?

  3. Maturity - Are you able to have difficult discussions and regulate your emotions? Is your perception of marriage distorted by social media? Can you show up for someone in the capacity they need you to? Do you approach situations with logic and understanding?

  4. Self-awareness - Do you genuinely know yourself? Your strengths, any shortcomings, your attachment style etc. If you haven’t taken the time to study your own patterns and truly understand yourself, marriage will expose the areas you haven’t addressed. Can you take accountability, or do you always need to be right?

  5. Compromise - A healthy level is needed. Are you able to accommodate for another person? Can you distinguish between a need and simply a preference? Compatibility is important, but relationships also need some degree of flexibility.

  6. Responsibility - Can you fulfill the rights and responsibilities of marriage. Religion wise, emotionally, financially, practically and so on..

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u/Dramatic-Manner2879 — 7 days ago

Beyond surface level

There’s many traits I make dua for my future partner to possess and honestly one of the top ones would be someone that is extremely articulate. It may just be my limited experiences with *disappointing* men, I’ll admit that, but I’ve realised how many lack the emotional capacity and depth to actually produce something meaningful. I pray for someone that surpasses me in intelligence, who is deeply introspective, and who speaks not just to fill the silence, but with logic and reasoning.

May Allah grant us all spouses who are thoughtful in both speech and action. Who seek understanding before judgement, and who challenge us to grow, and draw us closer to Him. Ameen

reddit.com
u/Dramatic-Manner2879 — 9 days ago