Anyone else found out someone they were interested in or thought was a good potential, engaging in some questionable activities online?
It was just “they might be a good match” kind of thing, but still feels so weird seeing them like that.
Asc, I have been dealing with an internal struggle since I was a young muslim girl. I grew up in a strict muslim household, memorized the Quran, pray daily, covered in hijab head to toe since i was 3. I can’t find myself being married or wanting children. I am not really attracted to men and cannot see my future falling in love with someone and starting a whole life with them, the thought makes me sick. I wonder how do other somali girls feel about this? Everyday I see a new engagement, a new wedding, etc. I get approached by good men, 10/10 by the book, and I still don’t want to get married. I feel like there’s more to life than that. Can a sister (married), please provide me more insight for what you feel emotionally in marriage?
I personally believe the only love that exists which is truly 100% unconditional is Allah’s love for us. Every other form of human love whether romantic, parental, or friendship is conditional to some degree, whether we admit it or not.
Even a mother’s love, which we often hold up as the purest example, can be strained or broken under certain circumstances. Romantic love clearly comes with expectations and boundaries. And friendships fade when the connection or mutual benefit disappears.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Conditional love doesn’t mean it’s fake or less meaningful it just means it’s human. We love based on shared experiences, loyalty, sacrifice, and attachment. Those conditions are what give the relationship meaning.
But only Allah’s love transcends all of that it exists regardless of our actions, our failures, or our distance from Him. That’s what makes it unique.
So what do you think is any human love truly unconditional, or are we just uncomfortable admitting the conditions?
My mental health has been on the floor recently.
Almost all of my friends are married, and lately it feels like they only reach out when they’re having relationship problems. I’m exhausted from constantly hearing about issues with their husbands . Sometimes it feels like I’m only remembered when things are going wrong in their relationships.
Meanwhile, I’m going through my own struggles, but it often feels like people assume single women don’t have their own pain or challenges.
One of my friends recently shared that she’s TTC. I genuinely empathise with her, but I also found the conversation quite triggering. As someone who can’t even try because I don’t have a partner, it hit a nerve.
I know that probably sounds irrational, and I’m not blaming her. But how do I tell someone that certain topics are difficult for me without sounding awful? It feels like people are mindful around certain sensitive subjects, but this is one I quietly carry.
I’m also just tired. Tired of hearing relationship problems when I feel stuck in my own life. I’m nearly 30, no husband in sight, I hate my job, and right now my mental health is so low that I don’t even have the energy to change things.
Has anyone else been the permanently single friend and felt like this?
I’ve decided to give the apps another go (primarily muzz but also tried hinge this time), and somehow it’s worse than I even remember.
Most male profiles I come across have minimal or no bio, I tend to just swipe past these because if you can’t even be bothered writing a few sentences then you’re not serious. Then there’s the issue of very slow/no replies once we get past introductions and don’t get me started on being unmatched once I unblur my photos on muzz (rejection therapy I guess). I very much get the sense that many people on the apps have a ‘grass is greener’ mentality and think they will find someone better
I am in my mid 20s, successful career-wise, decent looking, if I say so myself and practising alhamdulilah.
Am I doing something wrong?? I’m getting to the point where I feel like I will probably leave the apps again because it feels like there’s no barakah in this, and it is draining me. I can also feel myself compromising/dropping my standards the longer I am on there.
Maybe the kind of husband I am looking for would not be on a dating app. In that case where do I come across these kind of men irl. I think I could definitely put myself out there more day to day which I am making an active effort to now, but any advice as to the best way to go about this?
Ok so basically there was this guy that I had humongous crush on in high school, but any chance of the evaporated because his friend liked me & told me sophomore year of high school, I let him down but he highkey didn’t leave me alone till grad, ok so fast forward to now, we’re both juniors in college & I still like him, he’s a really shy guy around girls but pretty chill around his friends but that’s how I like them. The only issue is that he’s close friends with the guy that liked me in high school and I think that it lowk messes up with my chances so realistically should I go for it or no ?
Asc everyone, I’m not sure whether this post will be approved, but I want to share my honest thoughts about the Discord community now that it has been active for some time.
Lately, there have been several individuals who consistently engage in arguments and personal attacks. It’s surprising how often conversations shift from meaningful discussion to antagonistic behavior, which distracts from the purpose of this community.
It’s unclear whether this server was intended to be a social hangout or a space for people with genuine intentions, but the current environment doesn’t reflect either goal in a positive way.
In my view, the administrators have not been doing what they’re supposed. Instead of promoting healthy interaction, it sometimes feels like wrong things are being encouraged, which is concerning.
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this and discuss what we can do to improve the community moving forward.
Hi, I’m F22, looking for a serious relationship that could lead to marriage.
I’m open to long-distance relationships.
A few things about me:
I’m from Qatar
Height: 158 cm
Weight: 46 kg
My hobbies include:
Music
Reading
Gaming
Puzzles
I’m not currently working but I may be open to it in the future. Maybe.
I’m looking for someone loving and kind.
I’m looking for someone in their mid-20s or older
I’ve been talking to a potential for a couple months and I’m struggling to figure out if we’re emotionally compatible.
On paper he’s honestly great. He has a stable career, good family, deen-oriented, goes to the masjid/halaqas, works out. He’s also very introverted and keeps to himself.
But socially/emotionally I feel a disconnect sometimes. He doesn’t really pick up on emotional cues or unspoken things, and he can come across a little self-centered or unaware without intending to. Personality-wise he’s quirky and awkward at times. Nothing terrible, but sometimes I cringe a little lol.Another thing is that early on he told me he doesn’t believe in buying flowers/gifts or doing romantic gestures. In his mind, pursuing a woman is basically taking her on dates and paying for them. The issue is I I want emotional closeness. I want to feel pursued, considered, emotionally supported, surprised with flowers sometimes, checked on emotionally, etc. I want a husband who is emotionally available and naturally thoughtful.Part of me wonders if he might be neurodivergent/high-functioning autistic because of the social unawareness and rigid/thinking style. But I also don’t want to unfairly label him. Would it be wrong to bring up my emotional needs directly and see if he’s willing/capable of meeting them? Or am I ignoring compatibility issues that will become much bigger in marriage?
marriage is obvious but are there any signs that an unmarried person is in a serious relationship. I’m getting to that age where I’m assuming everyone is either married or almost married. If you’re close to getting married, how do you signal that?
We all know a lot of girls love to talk to their friends about who they’re talking to, and they will send a guys pics to the gc to get their approval or whatever it is girls do. As a man I would never do that, first of all because I couldn’t care less what my friends think of my girls appearance, but also because I see it as a huge invasion of privacy. To this day my closest friends don’t know who my last talking stage was, even though we were talking for a whole year. They just knew I was speaking to someone.
Now I’m a decent looking guy alx, so I’m not worried or insecure about it, but I’m also a very private guy, I don’t post on socials and I don’t tell anyone about my talking stages so a girl doing this is a bit off putting. Is this just a difference between men and women?
Hello everyone,
I am 25 years old and have never been married. I am currently planning to marry a wonderful woman who is 32 and is a single mother with four kids.
I love her and want to build a life with her, but I know this is a massive responsibility. I am jumping from having zero kids to instantly being a household figure for four children, ranging from a toddler to pre teens.
I’m posting here because I want to get some realistic perspective on a few things:
I really want to make this work and be the best partner and supportive figure I can be.
Are there any people here who married a single mother under similar circumstances? What do you wish you knew before making the jump? Any advice from single moms who remarried would also be highly appreciated.
Thank you.
Before anyone judges me, I want to express my deepest love and respect for all nurses. They are heroes who save lives every day, and we can never thank them enough.
I was recently in a relationship with a healthcare worker, and we got along well at first. While there’s a common stereotype about marrying a nurse, it never bothered me. I always believed that love was the most important thing, and nothing else mattered. However, we ended up breaking up for other reasons.
During our relationship, I didn’t ask her much about her job in the hospital, especially about caring for male patients. Until recently, I had a job in a hospital myself, and I was shocked by what I saw. Nurses are expected to care for patients with mental health issues or those brought in by the police for further assessment. These patients are often restrained and can’t use the bathroom, so nurses bring them portable urinals and help them use them. I was particularly shocked when I saw nurses putting their hands on male patients’ genitals until they were finished. Even though there are medical reasons for this, it made me uncomfortable and led me to question my feelings about dating nurses.
I know many of the sister here are nurses and I have nothing but respect for you. I’m just asking for some clarification. Do you have a choice to say no to male patients? I apologize if this post offended anyone.
So I’ve been married to my wife for 3 months, known her since I was young. Long story short, she’s the best woman I could have ever married.
But I found out recently she’s a secret vaper; I found a rechargeable vape in her left coat pocket randomly one day.
I obviously confronted her and she was very emotional so to speak. I was obviously concerned and laid out the reasons why vaping is bad and the potential dangers to our future children if she were to get pregnant but it sounded like she had already given up in trying. She said she started vaping 2 months ago but something tells me she been smoking for a lot longer.
What should I do? I want to help her and solve this but she doesn’t seem in the right mind of state to stop. I don’t want to burn the boats because I love this woman.
Any advice? Started dating this hilarious sweet guy who loves the deen. we click so far. The only issue is that he barely speaks English, came from Somalia as an adult, while I am pursuing my masters born in the UK. I dunno but I keep thinking about introducing him to my colleagues or my family and how they would react…
Some man told me he would be uninterested or view the girl a certain way if she approached him.
Wallahi I feel like our generation is so obsessed with marriage to the point that we can’t even have a decent conversation without talking about marriage or finding spouse, no one has ambition anymore, or if they want a relationship, the standards are above the roof, which is so inconsiderate to both of the genders
We’re looking for more guys in their late 20s and 30s to join the server. Feel free to share this with your friends and family. So far we have 200 marriage profiles up, lots of people are already getting to know each other and making real connections. Join now :))
I didn’t even realize it until I started reading stories about people getting ghosted, but I think I became super avoidant after my last relationship ( I ended bc I was just tired of it too controlling )😭 I’ll talk to someone for days or even months, then randomly open their messages and just not care enough to reply. It’s like I can’t even get excited about anyone anymore.
Now I’m hearing people tell mutual friends that I’m a player, but how? I feel like I was honest from day one. I literally told them it’s hard for me to like people and gave so many hints that I wasn’t emotionally invested. I ignored messages, told them to find other people, and never acted like I was deeply into it.
So how is it my fault if someone kept putting energy into something after I already showed them I couldn’t give the same back? Now they’re mad and calling me a player when I never promised them more than I could give.
After my previous post, I am curious to know what a high maintenance woman looks like to men? Is it her vibe? Is it the way she carries herself? What she wears? I’ve been told that I’m high maintenance but I don’t understand how.