u/Alert_Employment6553

Wallahi genuine question. Hoping at least 1 person relates.

Do you feel like you just are incapable of feeling love, and i understand what people mean when they say it starts after marriage.

Like there are people that get so heart broken when people end things and depressed. I recently saw that a football manager (Pep Guardiola) was complaining to his players that he got divorced with his wife who he loves. I feel like this type of love makes sense, being so attached to the person that even when they hurt you, you still yearn for them.

Wallahi i feel like I can’t love a girl like that. I’m not bragging about it, I’m actually complaining about it (would appreciate if yall took this serious and spared yourselves from attacking me). In my head I am always keeping a balance, the more someone does for me the more I’d do for them, etc, but there’s no attachment. Anyone what this is or relates??

What’s typical Nikkah Attire for Somali men as the groom?

I want to wear a white thobe, please i have heard enough about “somali men should wear the own cultural blah blah blah” 😂

I don’t want to wear the white and gold veil OR red and white shemagh. Hopefully something else entirely, i was after a yemeni shawl typa thing… but im honestly not sure if its my thing, honestly i dont like doing too much

I’d prefer to not wear any hats - unless I am wearing some kinda veil over my head BUT i am open to suggestions

Curious to hear how much rings for the bride cost- currently budgeting for the wedding at the moment.

I completely understand that different folks have different strokes, but I would like a detailed reply detailing common choices and estimated cost figures

Hi all,

I want to get my mom a gift. I was thinking of buying her an unsi/incense burner thingy. I just don’t know where to find one? Could be the usual one that needs coal or an electric one as well. Also I am based in Australia.

(Yes I know Google exists but the results where unhelpful, would appreciate a hand here)

This girl I’m talking to has mentioned that she’s shown my pic to other women she’s close to, like some of her colleagues, friends, sisters and so on. What I’ve realised is sometimes they will compliment my looks which confuses me.

So I’m trying to understand how does this make sense? She seems like she’s the jealous type (as am I) and doesn’t want me acknowledging who her friends are (I intentionally butcher their names lol), likes that I am lowkey. But doesn’t feel some type of way when other women compliment me?

If my girl was telling her friend that her fiance was good looking I’d def feel weird about that. Not to mention how I’d never show a pic of her to anyone lol. Not trying to be judgemental just confused and curious.

I’m not really here to start buuq so I would appreciate helpful and civil answers.

I’m engaged at the moment and I have been asked to look into rings for grooms. I am not a jewellery person, I don’t like wearing bracelets or rings or watches etc. I don’t know if it’s just me but I don’t notice rings on other people.

I feel like in the west we mix, religion, Somali and cadaan culture and I’m kinda shook at how brides don’t even cover the ring for their to be husband lol. As far as I am aware, I don’t think it’s even in our dhaqan for men to wear rings - so (and please pay attention to my words here) would it be a huge violation if I just don’t get a ring? the idea of saving money + no annoying jewellery appeals to me

I know for a fact no one is perfect and we’re all flawed in our own ways.

In past or present talking stage(s) have you noticed some of your own personal flaws? Has it been easier to change the serious ones? Just want to see if I have things common w people or if I’m just a rare case lol

Ngl I think it’s one of the main reasons younger people are getting divorced. We expect our partners to be perfect and do everything right.

I’ll start by showing some self awareness but it has exposed some attachment issues, anger issues, pride. Obviously I’m working on them but far from ideal. Wbu u folk?

This question is geared towards women but don’t want it flaired. Topic is wedding stuff.

So what is the Somali culture surrounding; the wedding cake, do both parties do tasting before, or is it only the girl.

For the engagement rings, when exactly does the man have to be involved? Do the couple do a viewing together with a jeweller or is that not necessary.

Are soo doonis events always done? Are there a male and a female event.

I’m confused because it feels like we’re mixing religion and two cultures here…

I used workdremit to send money to Telesom/ZAAD accounts but they locked my account as I need to provide tax info to them… I can’t through their app and their customer service line is unhelpful.

I thought this wasn’t a repetitive topic but turns out there’s a whole flair for it.

I’ve been looking at getting a 3x2 to rent and it really seems like I am looking at a ball park around $700 a week for something as far as Haynes… other states look so much more affordable in comparison. $39,000 a year on rent when I make $90,000 before tax is kinda depressing.

Now I don’t want to complain about the situation, just want to hear some of the other perthians thoughts on this matter? Do you guys have hope prices will stagnate (or even go down) I am considering moving over east to save for a deposit at least…

Saw a post and curious to see what yall pick, as it shows what you prioritise. Also let’s say you pick 2 qualities, they are average on others. So for e.g. if you don’t pick emotionally available, then they’re not completely unavailable, they’re just average

(1)

1. Empathetic and supportive

(their attention revolves you and your feelings)

(2)

1. Very good looking

(3)

1. Emotionally available

(they’re dependent on you in a healthy way & match it)

(4)

1. Very funny

(5)

1. Very good in bed (we’re adults here)

I feel like this is something I’m kind of struggling with, and I would like insight from married people.

When you have an argument with your spouse about something they did, you think it was very wrong, and they don’t think it was that much of a big deal. How do you deal with that?

Especially when they’re not as apologetic or understanding of the issue, after you clearly communicated it.

Personally, in such situations, I tend to feel very frustrated and want to distance from them entirely. In does feel like I’m giving silent treatment in a way but I can’t let go and forget about what they did (and most importantly how they handled it afterwards).

This seems like a recurring pattern at the moment. Thanks

Ngl I’m barely active on here as I once was but if I had something of benefit to share it would be: to understand the opposite gender better.

This applies to men and women.

I feel like once I’ve understood women, what matters to them, their perspective, their needs, their concerns it’s a whole lot easier to empathise with them. (Can’t believe I have to say this but… this is actually important if I want to marry a woman and have a loving relationship with them…)

Social media tells you that “most if not all men/women are [insert negative adjective]” do you honestly think that’s true? Do you honestly believe that most men want a maid that shuts up? That all women are heartless gold diggers asking for high mahr? and so on…

There’s a great deal of nuance when it comes to understanding the opposite gender. Take the time to understand it, and use it to find genuine people.

Inspired by the post of a girl that thinks men seeking “feminine” qualities means submissive girl ?? anyway.