u/peace-earned

I'm a somali girl in her 30s. In the past nearly 2 years, Alhamdulilah I dealt with a lot -so I haven't had a stable job, mostly contracted work. I went through something that honestly effected me a lot, Alhamdulilah.

At the moment I've been looking for work for about a month. I want a completely change careers. (I don't want to disclose what I did before, because reddit is a bit bait and I realised people I know maybe on here)

I was wondering whether or not to keep looking or wait until I get a job(in sha Allah).

Do men judge?

Last year, i was talking to someone and i was in between jobs because i had to leave to take care of a parent.

I told him that we weren't compatible in a nice way and his clap back was mentioning my employability status. I thought that is weird. I didn't take anything by it, allahuma barik i found work straight after. However, i don't want to go back to that line of work,so in terms of job hunting at the moment, I have no idea what Allah will bring.. All i know is life is too short for stress.

I keep thinking, I need to sort this out before talking to someone , but calaf whether a man or job is from Allah.

What should I do?

Edit: I actually asked a sincere question, please don't DM me with sagachanimo.

Salamalaykum warah matulahi wabarakatoo. I went back to that app muzz yesterday and I always, almost always feel uneasy there. I deactivated again, I thought about why and the main reason was the idea of having casual talks and just catching feelings doesn't sit right with me.

I was talking to an Arab sister I know and she advised getting the wali involved from the start. I felt kind of odd, but then I thought that's the deen.

My friend was approached by her husband (via email-calaf waa calaf innit). She told her dad straight away, they spoke supervised and got married after a couple of months.

However, my family are not that practicing. They follow the deen,but the idea of having a wali from the start is odd to us. In fact, I don't know anyone who has had a wali from the start that is somali.

People I know usually meet their potentials, talk for a certain period of time and then introduced them to their families.

To say that I'm tired of the marriage search is an understatement, especially being in my 30s now. Honestly I just want to meet and get to know someone in the most halal way.

I just want to know are there people who settled down in that manner? By getting their wali involved.

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Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice and to hear from anyone who's been through something similar.

Around the end of May, I started getting pain around my inner calf/inside of my ankle. I saw a GP physiotherapist, who thought it was likely posterior tibial tendinopathy/tendinitis, but I haven't had a confirmed diagnosis. I've been referred to the musculoskeletal (MSK) physiotherapy clinic, but I'm still waiting to be seen.

Initially, the pain was mainly on the inside of my lower leg/ankle. I then had a flare-up after walking around 16,000 steps and using lots of London Underground stairs. Since then, I've been trying to reduce my activity and be more careful.

Recently, things seem to be improving. I can now manage around 7,000 steps on flat ground. Although, midway i have to stretch to elevate the tightness. Also, i feel the tightness if i stand for an hour. The original pain has reduced a lot and is often replaced by tightness rather than pain. However, I still can't comfortably go downstairs, and that seems to be the biggest thing I'm struggling with.

What worries me is that the discomfort seems to move around. Sometimes it's tightness in my calves, sometimes a brief ache in the sole of my right foot, sometimes the front of my shin or the side of the other leg. These sensations are usually mild and often disappear quite quickly, but because they keep changing location, I'm worried that something more serious might be going on, or that I'm compensating and causing problems elsewhere.

Has anyone experienced something similar while recovering from what turned out to be posterior tibial tendinopathy (or another lower leg tendon injury)? Is it normal for symptoms to seem to move around like this?

Also, how long did it take before you could go downstairs normally again? I go down stairs side ways. I can't handle the translations stairs

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences while I wait for my MSK appointment. Thanks!

I think I've gotten to that point where I ask that question.

I would love to find my person, but my mind and heart is kind of tired to be honest with talking stages.

There's one thing completely giving up and another just wanting this "marriage search to end".

Alhamdulilah, I'm not a negative person but I got to the stage where I'm scared to get hopes up. Especially being in my 30s. I think I've also heard every single kind of advice there is.

I was wondering if there are people like me?

If there isn't, make duaa for your girl.

I understand and know of people who met their significant other there, but my heart really hates the place. I prayed istikhara whether to use it or not and it feels like that feeling of dislike increased.

However, logically I'm in my 30s (so time is jusg passing by), I'm not antisocial (I like people)but I hate socialising too much with people I don't know. I don't go to events and gatherings unless I have to .

I've been on and off there for a while, and the past potentials I met came from mutuals. I've only spoken to one person that I got on with, the rest I didn't vibe with.

I know everything is qadr Allah, and I've always been a very intuitive person.

I just want to know if anyone feels the same way?

So, i used to love running. Until one day I realised I had a deep calf pain in my left leg, only when I went down stairs. I went to the GPS physio therapis who gave me exercises to do. I've been avoiding stairs.

The pain in my left calf migrated down to where my leg and foot meet(ankle area(left)behind my foot) and I feel it most when I go down the stairs. The weirdest thing is, now the pain is in my right side, mirroring the pain on my left. I was getting better, but i had to use tge tube and the stairs, which made it worse.

I searched online(AI) I was advised not to stretch it. I thought of seeking advise, because this came after a run.

Has anyone experienced this and what advice could you give?

First of all, May Allah give us amazing spouses inn the most easiest manner.

I decided to download Instagram again, I have a private account with no personal pic and I saw a friend request of a person I spoke to a while back. I think he blocked me, as I did try calling him and I think I did try messaging him but I couldn't get through, so I naturally assumed I was blocked.

I definitely didn't accept the friend request, because I wasn't interested but it did make me think. The marriage search was a mental roller coaster, especially if you hit your 30s. I never know what i can expect, and I honestly reached the mental stage of being neutral. I wasn't even expecting him to request to follow. I also realised that quite a few of them come back. However, I'm very direct and I don't give second chances .

I just want to meet my person already in sha Allah with no games and miss communication.

Alhamdulilah, in the past year I was tested and I lost my spark. I used to be a very bubbly girl,happy go lucky.

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Alhamdulilah, I'm glad I went through what I went through because I used to very dacad, even at the age of 34. However, some days i do miss my old self.

I still attract people in to my life but I just find it hard to trust them.

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One blessing i got from this is that this dunya is a delusion, it's people and circumstances. How do you get your spark back? Because lately the main mood is have is indifference.