A relationship of 7 years ended...
Today my 7-year relationship finally ended.
The strange part is that for years, every time we had a huge fight, I was always the one who blocked him first and then came back. I always went back because no matter how hurt I was, he still felt like home to me.
But this time, he left. He blocked me. And I think this is really the end.
I grew up with him. I was literally a teenager when we started dating. He wasn’t just my boyfriend ...he was my best friend, my safe place, my daily routine, my comfort person. Somewhere along the way, my whole world became him.
Things were beautiful in the beginning. I genuinely believed I would marry him someday. But after the first couple of years, things slowly changed. He started becoming distant, started ignoring me, reconnecting with old crushes, and after long distance happened, everything got worse.
I tried so hard to save us. I planned virtual dates, waited for calls, adjusted my needs, forgave things I never thought I could forgive. He said he was busy building his life and couldn’t give time or effort anymore.
Then he cheated.
And somehow I still stayed because I loved him too much to leave.
Now that it’s finally over, I don’t even know how to process it. A part of me wanted this relationship to end because it was hurting me so badly, but another part of me genuinely cannot imagine life without him.
I stopped making close friends because he became my person for everything. And now I feel like I lost both my partner and my best friend at the same time.
The last few days have been really hard. I have been having panic attacks, crying randomly, struggling to breathe properly sometimes, and feeling this constant heaviness in my chest. I know people say “you’ll move on,” but right now it genuinely feels impossible... probably I am complex in relationships coz he is bestest guy I ever met. No one can ever make me feel like he did. I'll never be able to love anyone like I used to do him. Probably I never deserved him. I am complex that's why he had no option left instead of doing this. Probably, I deserve this.
What hurts the most is knowing that the person I would normally go to for comfort during pain… is the same person who caused it and now he is not with me anymore.
I usually don’t post and don't even know why I’m posting this. Maybe I just wanted someone to know that losing someone after 7 years feels like losing a version of yourself too... probably idk how to live without him. I haven't slept from 2 days coz I can't..The memories and flashbacks make it hard to even close my eyes.
I can't bear it anymore...I should probably end it...why am I even living coz I am not able to focus on career, have no friends, the person means to me the world..left me, family hates me..nothing to live for..
He was asking for clarity since months Coz this breakup phase started a year ago..but I had this worst feeling that I can't live without him and I had that trust issue that if I continue with him and make future with him, what if he repeat that again coz I don't have anyone except him...my life would be hell...and now he finally ended up things..
Like every time, I went back to him again. He said me to leave very disrespectfully...I almost begged him for my life but he stated me as selfish and told me to leave. I always tried my best for him idk how I am the selfish here...but that doesn't matter, I just wanted him back but then I saw many new girls in his comments and account list...he probably will move on. But Idk how to live my life without him
If anyone has gone through something similar, how did you survive it? Give some real advice so that I can at least breathe or idk what am going to do to myself.