One question that comes up from time to time is whether EFT works better if you tap in your native language.

I remember wondering about this myself many years ago. Since then, after working with clients for several years as an EFT practitioner, my answer has become fairly simple:

As long as you are able to emotionally connect with the issue while you tap, the language itself is usually not what matters most.

One of the most common misconceptions about EFT is the idea that the words we use have to be exactly right, almost as if they were a password that unlocks the process. In my experience, that is not how EFT works.

The purpose of the words and phrases we use while tapping is to help us connect with the emotional charge we want to work on. They help us “tune in” to the issue. They can also help us allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling.

For example, many people use balancing statements such as “I accept this is how I’m feeling” or “this is where I’m at right now”. The value of these phrases does not come from the specific words themselves, but they are meant to remind us that the more we can allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling (as opposed to fighting it, judging it or resisting it), the better the tapping tends to work.

If a phrase helps you connect with the feeling, then it is serving its purpose.

This is one of the reasons why I do not think there is a universal requirement to tap in your native language.

Around 90% of my sessions with clients are conducted in English because most of my clients live in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, or Australia. Some of those clients speak English as a second language, yet we tap in English and the process works very well.

What matters is whether the language allows you to connect with what you are feeling.

That being said, there are situations where a particular word, phrase, memory, or experience carries more emotional charge in one language than another.

For example, someone might notice that a certain childhood memory feels much more emotionally alive when remembered in their native language. Or they may realize that a specific phrase only “hits home” when expressed in the language in which the original experience occurred.

In those cases, it can make sense to use that language.

In fact, with some of my bilingual clients who speak both English and Spanish (like myself), we sometimes end up tapping in a mixture of both languages. We might start in English, switch to Spanish for a few emotionally charged phrases, and then switch back again. You could jokingly call it “Spanglish EFT”.

What is interesting is that this often happens naturally. As people connect more deeply with an emotion, they sometimes find themselves reaching for the words that reflect their actual thoughts and feelings the most, regardless of which language those words belong to.

So if you prefer tapping in English, even though it is not your native language, there is no reason to assume that the tapping will be less effective.

The question I would focus on instead is this:

Does the language you are using help you connect with the emotional charge you want to release?

If the answer is yes, then you are probably using the right language for that moment.

That said, when it comes to doing EFT, it’s not always easy to do it by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

From time to time, some of my clients tell me they are afraid they might be losing their minds. What is interesting is that these are not people who are psychotic. More often, they are people who are going through a period of intense stress, anxiety, grief, emotional overwhelm, or other difficult life circumstances. Yet despite this, they sometimes find themselves wondering, “What if I’m going crazy?”

I think this fear is more common than many people realize.

One of the things I often explain is that when we are under a lot of emotional stress, it is actually quite normal to feel disconnected from ourselves. When our emotions become intense, or when we experience strong physical sensations in the body, we may stop feeling like our usual selves. We may find it harder to think clearly, feel grounded, or make sense of what is happening to us. And when that happens, it is easy for the mind to interpret the experience as a sign that something is seriously wrong.

Another aspect that I think is important to understand is the relationship between pain and connection.

When we are in a lot of pain, whether physical or emotional, it becomes much harder to feel connected to ourselves, to other people, or even to spirituality in the sense of feeling connected to something greater than ourselves. In some ways, emotional pain can be especially confusing because it is invisible. If you have a broken arm, you can point to the injury. You can see it, and other people can see it too. Emotional pain is often harder to locate and make sense of.

Imagine that you have a really intense toothache, but the rest of your body feels completely okay. Even though the pain is limited to one part of your body, it would still be difficult to relax, enjoy a conversation, connect with other people, or feel fully safe and comfortable in your own skin. The pain would keep pulling your attention toward itself.

Something similar can happen when we are carrying a large amount of emotional distress. Even though there may not be a visible injury, the nervous system is still responding to something that feels painful and overwhelming.

Our nervous system is constantly evaluating whether we are safe or unsafe, and much of this process happens outside of conscious awareness. Many people assume that the nervous system is only paying attention to the external environment, such as the facial expressions, tone of voice, and behavior of the people around us. But it is also paying attention to what is happening inside our bodies. It notices our heart rate, muscle tension, dizziness, chest tightness, stomach discomfort, and countless other sensations. It is also monitoring our emotional state.

When the nervous system detects a large amount of distress, whether emotional or physical, it can become more difficult to feel calm, grounded, connected, and stable. This does not necessarily mean that we are losing our minds. Often, it simply means that our nervous system is working very hard to deal with something that feels overwhelming.

This is one of the reasons why EFT can be so helpful. By tapping while focusing on difficult emotions, upsetting thoughts, or uncomfortable body sensations, we often begin to feel more at ease with what is happening internally. Of course, there are times when physical symptoms should be evaluated by a doctor, and EFT is not a substitute for appropriate medical care. But when emotional distress is contributing to the experience, tapping can help reduce the emotional charge around both our emotions and the sensations in our body.

As the nervous system begins to feel safer, it often becomes easier to come out of survival mode. And as that happens, many people notice that they begin to feel more grounded, more connected, and more like themselves again.

That said, it’s not always easy to do this by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

One challenge that sometimes comes up with EFT is the following:

A person gets very emotionally triggered in a social situation, but later, when they are finally home and have the time and privacy to tap on it, they notice they can barely feel anything anymore.

This can feel frustrating and confusing. After all, EFT tends to work best when there is enough emotional activation present while we tap. In other words, we usually need to be emotionally “tuned in” to what we are working on.

The difficulty is that some people only feel emotionally activated during the actual triggering situation itself.

For example, someone might feel very anxious, awkward, ashamed, or self conscious while talking to other people, but once they are back home trying to tap on the experience, the emotional charge seems to disappear. And unfortunately, tapping in the middle of the social situation itself is not always practical, especially if it would feel uncomfortable or draw attention because it’d look “weird”.

So what can we do in these cases?

One helpful approach is to try to mentally recreate the situation as vividly as possible.

This might involve imagining a future social situation that feels similar to the one that triggered you previously. As you imagine it, you can gently “zoom in” on emotionally charged details.

For example:

• the other person’s facial expressions
• the tone of their voice
• a comment they might make
• the feeling of awkward silence
• thoughts such as “Oh my God, this is so awkward!” or “I’m so lame!”

The more vividly we connect with the emotional experience, the easier it often becomes for the nervous system to “tune in” again, allowing the tapping to have something meaningful to work with.

Closing your eyes while tapping can sometimes help with this process as well.

Should we tap silently or should we say the phrases out loud? Interestingly, different people seem to connect better in different ways.

Some people find that tapping silently helps them tune into the emotional activation more deeply. Others notice that speaking out loud makes the emotional charge easier to access. Some people also find that working with a practitioner or therapist (that they feel comfortable with) helps them stay emotionally connected to the issue more effectively.

Another important thing to keep in mind is that the frustration about “not being able to feel anything” can itself become a useful doorway into the process.

For example, when you think about your difficulty connecting with the emotional charge, do you notice frustration? Hopelessness? Self judgment? Discouragement?

Anything that brings up some degree of unpleasant emotional activation can become a starting point for tapping.

And sometimes, rather than trying to force ourselves to feel a specific emotion, it can help to ask a different question:

“Is there any thought, feeling, or part of me related to this issue that wants to be given a voice right now?”

That shift in attitude can often help take off some of the pressure and make a surprising difference.

Very often, the more we meet ourselves exactly where we are, without forcing, pressuring, or demanding a particular emotional response, the safer the nervous system feels. And when that happens, emotions that previously felt inaccessible often begin to emerge more naturally.

That said, it’s not always easy to do this by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.