The Rising Sun For An Enigma
Hello. When I was 17 I locked myself in a room with no light or food. I only watched shockumentaries and various controversial documentaries. I have kept these poems for myself for a few years and have decided to share them. These poems capture my adolescent mind. Be kind to yourself. I love you.
The Rising Sun For An Enigma
- In a sea of darkness I am found
My light is shattered and I am bound
To face these evils all alone
A place below where it snows
A single pond where life grows
If I stare close I see you there
I try so hard to move and bear
To hold you close and keep you near
But I’m frozen in place forever stuck here
- Walking through time
As the world goes by
The death march starts in my mind
As demons walk and angels fly
You grab my hand and we begin to cry
As much as you try I will not budge
My eyes are set on a path for one
Your touch so soft gaze in my soul
Forgive my sins that is the toll
To set a goal for us to roam
This world together you in my hold
- Nowhere to run
Nowhere to turn
Cornered within let it all burn
To say I cared would be unique
Watch it fall beneath my feet
I hear these voices they call my name
The static speaks who is to blame
A tormented mind
Have I gone blind?
I cannot see so left leave this world behind
- I hear voices
I hear them clear
Feel no fear
For I am here
I see demons
There in my mind
We like to talk
From time to time
They tell me things
Such evil thoughts
Release the past
Of what was once forgot
Release my mind!
From your hold!
There hands like claws
There skin so cold
Eat my flesh!
Tear my skin!
Nothing will release me from this prison within
Lock the doors!
Throw away the key!
I cannot escape
From what is me
- If I had to choose a place to be
It would be a mind that is not me
Rip off my skin
Take out my eyes
Rip out my spine
Isn’t this just fine?
Now I cannot walk
I cannot talk
I cannot see
This is the way to be
Overcome with pain
Pleases me so
This mind cannot hurt me
This is the way to go
It’s focus is healing
Instead of causing these thoughts
That make me insane
And cause me to fault
That cause me to scream!
This agony!
This pleases me!
This mind that is not me!
- You say your nobody
Your special to me
So then pretend
To be, to be
The one for yourself c
Don’t hurt your mind by
You’ll end up like me lost in time
Lost in memories
Fading away
Memories like dust
Blow away
So please just pretend just to be
The one you want for you and me
- Why is a cactus prickly?
Is it in distress?
Does it hate this world?
To be alone instead?
If you were soft would anything change?
Your still you with a mangled frame?
You’ll still taste quite the same?
Don’t you think it’s worth a change?
To be so soft and loved by all?
To be gentle and kind smooth and bald
Or would you like to stay the same?
All alone with your prickly frame
- This face so blue
With eyes that shine
My heart is fragile when it’s not mine
Instead it’s yours for you to use
Emotions for you to pick and chose
To mend my heart and mold like clay
I trust you so, keep my heart a bay
If you chose to use, and abuse
I cannot say what I would do
Forever yours till the end of time
In my mind
Forever mine
- Floral day
I am astray
A sea of flowers, I’ve lost my way
To be with you is yet to be
These flowers block my way to see
Etched in this heart, a path to you
These words I say can’t be construed
To mean anything less than what I feel
Being left without, too much to deal
As I walk this lonely path of mine
I surely hope that I will find
A place with you, just us two
For now I’m lost finding you
- When does time stop?
Does it ever?
Will time move on, continue forever?
It is a question so terrifying
It makes you fear inevitably dying
Time will creep from behind to take you away
It makes you decay day by day
Time is important it must be understood
All things must end even if they are good
- For every cause they will oppose
Negativity shows like a patch of snow
Touch by one, it’s left a mark
Forever imprinted in winters dark
The darker days
As moonlight passed
For am I the cause that they will wrath!
This mark I have forever shown
My mind a place
Insanity abode
- Was there once a time
That I find
I did not fight this mind of mine
It bends and shapes for where I am
It creates a plan for which I can
Pretend to be the one they see
I curse this outer shell of me!
It makes me see
To make me feel
That I’m myself
That I am real
- The desert sand
So fine in grain
I wonder who designed these plains?
So dry and dull
A place to mull
Containing nothing and yet so full
Sometimes I feel just like the sand
Everything around so bleak and bland
If you decide a closer look
We appear the same, don’t be mistook
Simple disguises to appear alike
We appear the same to bring delight
Each one unique
They are, what I am
Sometimes I feel just like the sand
- A memory moment
A time to reflect
A time to neglect what we must to forget
To keep us strong and move along
We must go on, to keep life long
To not fall behind
Lost in our minds
We dispose of times
To keep us fine
- A twisted hourglass
Pulled and stretched
Who made this time and put it set
For longer than things seem to be
It seems to me I am Intrigued
Hourglass will change its shape and size
To fit a place where it thinks time
Must be a pace fit for itself
Enjoy yourself and it will melt
Into a shape to speed up time
I hate this hourglass of mine
- I dream of going out to war
To see the world for so much more
To fight against those I do not know
There names to be written upon a stone
To see the bodies lay on the land
There are some things I did not plan
To see my friends wasted away
To never see another day
I wish I never came to this war
So much more than I bargained for
- Each day I lay
Upon my bed
Stare at the walls, think in my head
And to myself I start to wonder
Am I insane?
I lay and ponder
These thoughts I have so sick and twisted
Why must I be so wicked?
My past shapes me the way I am
Almighty curse has set me damned
A wrongful path that's set off course
I wish my past had never forced
Me to be the way I am
Thorns on my skin
Eyes on my hands
To see the things I wish to feel
Like dreams they feel so warm and real
To touch these things my mind must find
A reason why not to try
My emotions wind so set to fly
Away from this reality
I think it’s time for me to be
Simply insane the truth to me
- An oceans path
Where does it go?
Does it simply flow, where life goes?
With this perplexion I must guess
An oceans path is nothingness
With this knowledge known I must go
Set forth a sail to thee unknown
- I saw a man
An older one
I could not help, but think off some
Things to say if were to meet
How is it worth this lonely feat?
To die of age, so old and gray?
I feel it’s not my place to say
For me to die of age a nay
I’d rather die right on this day
- To be, or not to have?
We trade these things so we may grasp
A chance to be one, loved by all
Grow so tall just to then fall
Cut by those who do oppose
I don’t propose to be foes
Forever chase this fantasy
To be, not to have
To then be seen
- Nothing to compare to be as thick
Not even blood
So course and rich
To explain just what you mean to me
You are a friend like family
As I grow old so will you
Our bond, stronger better than new
You are the one that I may call
In case I fall right on the edge
From mental stress and mended
By the world around
I’m on the edge but there you are
To bring me down
A helping hand forever found
There are no words for what you mean to me
You are my brother, my family
- If there was a place for me to go
A place that I could call my home
A place where I may be myself
A place where worries never dealt
I have a home inside my head
Where I would rather be instead
Where I can roam, far from here
Where there is nothing to be feared
I built this place so I may be
All by myself, my company
Forever love this place of mine
I cherish it until the time
That I must leave and go back where
I hate the things, surround me there
- I wait for you You never come
I see you when I start to run
To go the mile, I do not pace
To see your face, so full of grace
When I’m afar I like to daze
Of how I’d like to spend my days
Anything for you that I would trade
To simply have you in my gaze
But as I’m near you start to fade
I begin to think I’m in haze
For what I see cannot be true
As you turn away from me and you
- Crawl in my skin
Take over my mind
Make me see demons, that are mine
The ones I chose, bear not see
They are who I am, apart of me
Where are the angels, am I not kind?
They say are nun, so I abide
To face the truth, these demons of mine
They crawl around and love to hide
Inside the walls
Under my bed
They mess with things inside my head
Cause me dread, hope to be dead
Conceal these thoughts inside instead
To not face these demons that are mine
Keep going instead and hope they find
A reason to then set me free
And hope an angel comes to me
- What makes you I?
If you tried could you find
A face to use to then be me
Change the course of reality
Bend time and space to personate
Forget your fate just to chase
A fantasy of being me
I am the me you’ll never be
Forget the poem forget the rhyme
I’m tired of the constant times
Of people blind to lost to see
Seeking a dream that will not be
To change a face, put up chase
To run from it, and then persuade
Themselves that fate will not peruse
To then consume
You will be you!
- Warm fuzzy blankets
Drape you in such
Keep you warm when winters much
To bear alone without this warmth
Forever mine inside my clutch
I feel your warmth as you feel mine
I hold you close and forget time
Will move on as my whole world stops
With you so close I feel that not
Only I do think of this
I look at you and see that it
Is a moment that we share
As we hold each other close and near
- In a valley of paradise
where time does not exist
the trees fall and open an abyss
where the monster sleeps and cries are unheard
Walk forward fallen rise again once more
In a chamber of secrets lies are kept
Deep below the ocean depths
The need to see as the darkness crept
Unchain thee! The monster said
A sea of silence a peaceful breeze stops
Release the locks of a monster once forgot
When hate and love stops and pureness is killed
A new being is born from the guild
With eyes that darken
a soul forgotten
Time begins once more to allow the past to rot
- Many eyes to see
See the birds and the trees
See the world for what it is and can be
See your stance
See your glance
See the way you move your hands
The way you speak
The way you sound
If I stare too hard I’ll see a shadow on the ground
Invisible, the person who was once there
I’ve stared too hard and seen what I’ve seen
disinterest to me the way things should be
Oh my these eyes are a curse to me!
- Leave with a purpose
Never to return
I will leave you alone
Watch your world burn
As I sit in this silence,
Laugh at your failures cry at your prowess
Laugh at your sadness your wins I will not be there
Alone you shall be
As I am trapped here!
As the silence becomes voices you should join me down here!
My thorns are prickly so beware!
In this thick forest no answers can be found
You are now alone, and your hatred is now my down
- A place below
A place with snow
A place covered in ice an untouched paradise
For those who seek they shall receive
A visit from him to take you there
A paradise once sought is despair
Evil lurks here
Now you are there
A blissful place where agony awaits
You cannot leave this forbidden place
- To be what I must become
I cannot see the morning sun
No interactions from this world
For this is I must I endure
To see much I than eyes of thee
I must endure depravity
For this the world that I must see
I must go through insanity
- This place that I
Have now reside
Is not like any other time
That I have been held within
Inside this place that I am in
Inside my mind, who am I?
A person I have never been
I am depraved I now decay
Inside my head I lay at bay
Blind by the times I’ve been astray
This world is fake it has been made
Up by the people who never seen
The light of day and have been deceived
Received the need to then be pleased
To see the world for all their needs
- A straight edge
Sharp for thy skin
Let me peel you from within
Let my words pierce through your mind
Drive you insane to make you find
A place in time where you have been
Overcome of flaws and full of sins
Oh god the things that you have done!
They make you what you have become
You push them down and try you might
Put up a fight when days are bright
But darkness likes to seep inside
Will take you over you and I
- For is death something misconstrued
Does it define me and you
When we perish what will we be?
For is death something you and me
Cannot define in simple terms
No way we turn
We have to learn
What may come after in this life
We’ll never know till death of thy