Alright, need to vent this out/seek some advice. We're a multi-generational household, 4 adult kids & mom living together, yay, times are tough, roommates suck etc etc. I'm the main financial provider for the house (38F) and about a year & half ago, our brother (35M) moved in after a long period of living out of his car in a different state. Hes always been a "refuse to growup" type, dropped out of high school, never held a job longer than a couple months, just stops showing up, and history of addiction (thoug in his 30s hes luckily moved past that mostly).
All I ask is that he works consistently, respects the house, and cleans up after himself. He's messy, like frat house messy, leaves dishes & half eaten food all over the place, hasn't worked in around 9 months after only working part time for a couple months before he just stopped going in...and the final thing that drives me NUTS is his constant moving around of furniture, large house plants, rugs etc. Just to do hand stands, flips, juggle things around (circus acts basically) and still not cleaning up after himself. He tells me I'm mad for no reason because he'll fix it eventually and I can just ignore it, but like, seriously I should not have to clean up food and dishes every morning (hes basically nocturnal) and fix my basic living and work areas before being able to function normally, because he never cleans up after himself. I feel like I'm cleaning up after a teenager every day and he just screams that I'm overreacting and he'll "get to it." Problem being...he doesnt. If I or my mom dont pick up, we'd be living in his mess.
All this on top of him contributing ZERO to rent, food costs, utilities... he doesnt even pay his own cellphone bill because he cant keep a job. In the small periods of time he was working, it was always an excuse as to way he couldnt contribute. Im at a total fucking loss of how to breakthrough to him. All I want is a base level of respect and cleanliness...and him to not move our shit around all the time. Every conversation turns to yelling, cutting me and my mom off, and no resolution. Admittingly, I tend to end the confrontations with "then move out, go then" and i know thats mean, but honestly what the hell else am I supposed to do? Its the lack of respect that he gives my mom & I, when we're the reason he gets to be comfortable and lazy. HELP 🫠