u/Dramatic_Net1706

▲ 44 r/over60

Apologizing to Siblings

One of my sisters made up an excuse to ban me from her house and never see her again when I last visited. We never really had a smooth relationship. We live in different countries now, I have seen her maybe 6 times in 40 years.

Upon reflection though, I was mean to her when I was a kid. She had learning difficulties and I was the polar opposite, still getting quals, still learning.

It can't have been easy for her at all. As a kid I was judgmental and likely made fun of her. I think it's time for me to own up to being a little ass, and apologize for bad behavior.

But how? Have you tried to mend bridges with siblings? Any advice?

Update: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. She would never pick up a phone call from me, but I will definitely write her a letter. Yes, I'll fall on my sword. Because it's so long ago, I can't give anyone examples of when I said this to her, or when I did that to her, so I have no idea really what I did that offended her, or indeed, how my actions ever affected her. I just want to apologize. It's not my 'family tradition' to speak truthfully about how we feel 100% of the time, and none of us were blessed with much patience. I was one of 5 kids growing up, so yes, it was hard.

My motivation is to just be honest with her. It's up to her to figure out if there any next steps. I don't expect forgiveness or even a frank discussion.

And I like your suggestion of letting her know how she positively affected my life, what I admired in her. That's important too I feel. Thank you

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u/Dramatic_Net1706 — 10 days ago