AITA for not caring about my friend’s problems anymore?
so for context, we (friend is named F) became friends this year and in the beginning it’s been really fun. We would simply just walk to class together and chat when we were near each other but then our bond developed over time. Now, we hang out together a lot, we have our own conversations when we were in our friendgroup, they’d give me an excessive amount of gifts, etc. needless to say, they do a LOT for me and I really appreciate it. I feel extremely bad when they do or get something for me but they always reassure me that it’s nothing to feel bad about, even with some passive aggressive comments. I do want to point out that I also do little things for them, just not as big or expensive as F’s since I don’t have the money.
That being said, they’ve been acting extremely weird these last few months. In the beginning they were fine, but now it seems like everyday theres always something wrong with them. I usually try to cheer them up or ask what is wrong and it always lead to a vent session. I encouraged them to vent to me anytime they feel awful so I could be there to help but now it feels excessive. Every vent these past few months was about the same thing and I’ve given all the advice I could give to them about their situation. Ive tried everything to make them feel better and sometimes I’d put my own mental problems aside to comfort them, even though I sometimes (rare occasions) got snapped at or given attitude. Whenever I tried to give F some space, they would get upset with me for not checking up on them. I started to believe that F views me more as a therapist than my friend. This has become a continuous pattern where it now started to affect others. For example, We both went to a graduation party of my best friend where I was gonna celebrate by being with her but I ended up having to worry about F and consoling them. My best friend also started to worry and I had to assure her F was fine so she wouldn’t have any stress at her party. By this point, I believe they need to get some serious counseling and I asked if they’d like to get a therapist or counselor, but they made it very clear they don’t want or need one.
The thing that made me snap today was a message I received from them. To summarize, they said they won’t bother to put any effort into our friendship anymore because it’s just not worth putting effort into something where they don’t get anything back. I do agree that they do SO MUCH for me and I will try to pay them back in any way, but it just infuriates me to know that F views me as someone who just takes from them without doing anything back. All that did was make me believe that everything I do for them or with them was considered as nothing important, especially when everything I do for them is genuine and personal. I’m tired of playing these games and I just don’t care about helping them when they won’t even help themselves.
AITA?