My parents love my cousin more than me and it's ruining my life.
So I am 20F and since I was young I have always known my parents wanted a son.They never said it on my face but they don't actually hide their desire too.
After 10 yrs of my life my parents again had another daughter my sister (who is the only love of my life) but my mom have told me they weren't planning on having another kid and my sister is a mere mistake.
I have a cousin who's the golden child of our family. He is a doctor( before turning 25) looks good have a loving girlfriend basically according to my parents have his life sorted.
Since I was young his life (let's call him Kyle) is the absolute BLUEPRINT of my life. He "stopped" watching TV when he was 13 yrs so my TV 'privileges' were cut too since I should be 'inspired' by him and all. I was 9.
Every single moment in my life has been a constant comparison between him and me. While young if I don't eat vegetables my dad would say "Kyle eats everything thats why he is so smart and stuff" Kyle don't even lives near us both of our family lives in different states. I believe I have heard Kyle's name more from my parents mouth than me or my sister's.
Kyle is the son of my Mom's closest Sister. And my uncle (Kyle's father) was classmate of my dad in Law School.
So I failed my medical entrance exam twice (I never wanted to study medicine but since Kyle's a dr. I SHALL be one so my father forced me to give the exam twice which ended up me losing 2 yrs of my life in Gap year. I did however managed to get into a good college studying a different course.
My uncle is a chauvinistic male and clearly looks down on me due to my failure of not clearing the entrance test despite knowing I was forced. I also am grumpy on Kyle for not helping me a bit during those times, if he had told my parents to not force me they would have clearly listened I know he Shouldn't have to but he COULD have.
What hurts me the most is that despite being my parents they don't feel a bit of empathy towards me and will constantly give me an update about his Career (Medical) which stings a lot I wished I wasn't jealous but I am.
Today is the day he is getting his degree finally, and my dad kept poking me to check on whatsapp to see whether he have uploaded any 'pics'.
He also very clearly said 'so what if my daughter couldn't be a doctor atleast my 'son' is one'.
My dad is taking a flight tomorrow to congratulate him and to gift him his graduation gift. (It's an expensive luxury watch).
Kyle also cheats on his gf regularly I suppose his GF knows this but doesn't say anything they kinda have a 'open- relationship' dynamic or something, he is also doing drugs since he is high 22/7. We are Hindu so eating Beef is a strict 'no' for us but he is an avid beef eater I don't care at all, its his life anyways I just know all of this since he himself told me during family meetup and stuff.
His parents (my aunt and uncle) don't know about these stuff since my aunt is an absolute religious lady and might have a HEART- ATTACK if she knew her son eating beef but my parents know everything about these "Unholy" stuff about him but their usual response is he is 'still young' and will mend his ways after being married. But I just know if I was doing such stuff I would have been the absolute 'SHAME' on my parents.
Also I don't judge Kyle at all he is my absolute closest cousin and I think he loves me a lot too but God it is hard to maintain balance since am constantly being compared to him all my life.
Also his mistakes are 'Naive' and 'Boys will be Boys' while I should know what's wrong and what not and should be a 'role model'to my younger cousins and all.
Honestly I have stopped hoping things will get better for me and I'll be changing state if I am lucky enough I might change country too within 3 yrs. To stay away from my parents and relatives.
I honestly never ever wished anything bad for Kyle he is like my own sibling to me and I always wish him well but I don't think my relationship with him will give me any benefit on the contrary talking to him is like a piercing a dagger on my heart.
I am just always wondering about what have I done to deserve such treatment from my own parents since young. My aunt and uncle treats me like their niece but my parents treats Kyle like their son that's the part which will sting me for the rest of my life that I have no parent and Kyle have 4.
I don't wanna brag but I too am in a prestigious university of my country on a full scholarship I do not look bad am also a fitness micro influencer on instagram but nothing will make my parents proud on me they always wanted a son and Kyle fits the shoe.
I was just born under unfortunate stars