Time I'm never getting back
I am transmasc. I use he/him pronouns, but I embrace the fact I'm AFAB. I pride myself in being smart, but all it took were a couple days and a few sweet words for me to completely ignore his red flags. How he talked to me like he planned to marry me, how he'd made me feel special, how he made me think I was wrong in thinking I'm transmasc. I'm not. He'd call me a "girly girl", I'm not. I don't want to divulge much because I fear him finding me as he is a very clingy and possessive person. He'd check up if I didn't reply in 2 minutes, he'd tell me to ignore my friends because he "got to me first".
He said I was the only girl he vibes with, that all the other girls were different and that he didn't like them.
I sensed he took pride in the fact he'd be my first,
L although I made absolutely NO MOVES towards him. I ignored his advances, I accepted his compliments, but I ignored any talk about "when you grow up, I'll spoil you". I didn't hint towards explicitly wanting it. We have a 6 year difference. I like learning and studying, and he drew me in when he told me he'd teach me the inner workings of his job. I thought we'd just be friends, albeit the age gap, but I was roo blinded by the fact he'd praise me for everything I did to recognize the signs.
"When you grow up, I'll spoil you"
"I'll do the chores so you can sit still and look pretty"
I gave him my first name. He said it was the prettiest name he's ever heard and that it suits me. He called me it, I felt uncomfortable. I told him as such, but he relented. Complained about how he was being kept from using the prettiest name he's ever heard. I reminded him I am a minor. He backed off, but started being weird and used baby language. I said goodnight and went to my friends and told them "I think I got groomed". They convinced me to finally block him. I cried, because I wanted a farewell from him. I don't know how genuine his words were, if he truly meant it that I was special or if he faked it all and had people in his dms. I wanted to believe he was genuine, that I was somehow special to him.
I'm still suffering, I still subconsciously do things I know he'd approve of. I wonder when he'll finally permanently leave my life