r/groomingvictim

I was groomed and sa first when I was 2-6 years old, at 11 years old I was lonely and started looking for attention anywhere I could but never got it, until I started looking online. Suddenly I had 10+ older guys giving me all the love and attention in the world. Now I’m 16 and not much has changed. I was probably around 13 when I learned about grooming and realized what happened to me, it made me sad, but reality was sad so I decided to live in my delusion and all those men sure do know how to manipulate and love bomb til you know nothing else. Since then I’ve almost always had some older guy to talk to, I’ve tried irl relationship w guys my own age but I always feel shallow and empty and I always miss the feeling of the kinda attention I got from the older men online. Even tho I got traumatised and blackmailed and pressured and found myself in severe depression, I still felt so loved by the attention they gave me. I haven’t been able to get out of the cycle no matter how hard I try. My brain is so wired now it’s like Im addicted to the attention.

but now that im 16 i know better, im more mature and more experienced and im not as easy to manipulate, is it really that bad if I don’t want to stop? It doesn’t hurt me anymore, mostly it just brings me comfort. Is it ok to be ok with it? Even tho it traumatised me and made me so hard, is it still ok to crave it???

being groomed so much as a child and teenager online really shaped me as a person and really had a big effect on the way I think and feel, I’m now 16 and I feel as if my brain is completely wired and rotten.

I always yearn and miss the same kinda attention I used to get from my groomers, I always over sexualise myself and put myself out there, if I’m not sexualised I feel unloved but If I’m too sexulised I feel used and disgusted.

I’d be lying if I said that I have gotten better, honestly, I’m in the exact same position I was when I was 12, only difference is that I’m now experienced and more mature. I suppose that makes me safer being in the environment that I’ve ended up being but idk.

I really wish stuff was diffident, but I can’t seem to untangle my brain from all the manipulation I went through as a child.

When I date someone my age irl I feel empty

Funny how i never get dm’s ever when i post somewhere else, but whenever i post anything here, i get atleast 5 requests. This sub prohibits DM’s so why the fuck are people still dm:ing me? I’m actually getting so tired of safe spaces being full of these pedophiles just lurking. Idc if you claim to just want to check on me, you can do that in the comments. Im a minor and a victim of grooming, you texting me is not helping, you are making things worse. It also sucks because these creeps have no bio or profile picture and reddit is so useless all you can report is their username. It’s getting on my nerves.

and i for spme reason dont want to either. i loathe people who're being actively targeted since i feel jealous of the attention they're getting, which i know is disgusting, but i can't help it. i fucking hate being 'safe' or whatever you'd call it, and i hate other's getting attention while im left on my own. Im aware its a weird thing to feel but theres genuinly nothing i can do, so atp killing myself would be the only way to get rid or the thoughts

Am I insane? I think my dad M50 is trying to groom me F16. I’m just gonna lay it all out there. He’s tried to kiss me and put his tongue in my mouth. He came in the shower while I was having a shower. He came in at night and searched up incest related things on my X (twitter) account on MY PHONE (only about our dad and daughter dynamic) and didn’t even close the tab so I think he wanted me to see it. That same night he cuddled me while I was supposedly sleeping which is something we’ve never done. Overall he’s just a fucking creep.

He sends me money weekly as an allowance and I think because of that he thinks that’s is an “invite” for him to try do stuff with me. I’ve already told him before that uncomfortable with the stuff he does and he still fucking does it. The morning after he cuddled me and searched that stuff up I texted him not to do this to me and I’d never talk to him again if he did. He said we would talk about it but we still haven’t but I don’t even wanna talk to him. I’m done. I’m never speaking to him again. Our whole middle ground relationship of me trying to ignore him being so fucking weird is done.

I’ll admit I do sexual things with people online and he found out a while ago because he never gives me any privacy. And ever since then he’s just been coming home at night when everyone’s asleep to check on me and just acting really weird. Hugging me way too long and after checking my phone saying he feels “jealous” like what the actual fuck what the hell did I even do for him to be like this. I cry every time I think about it. Like my dad that I’ve loved for all my life is doing this shit to me. Fuck. He’s never gonna touch me again. Ever again. No more so called “innocent” hugs I thought i gave him clause he’s my dad and I love him. Turns out this entire time absolutely nothing was innocent.

He’s probably gonna see this because again I have no privacy but I don’t even care anymore. He can take everything away at this point as long as he stays the hell away from me.
Fuck my life I’m so overwhelmingly done.

I hate her so much. sometimes I wish I could believe in heaven and hell just so the thought of her going to hell for the gross shit she did could comfort me.

her youngest victims were 11 and 12, and I was 13 when I met her. I can only hope the kids that met her (she's "famous" on tiktok, but she's falling off as of late.) will soon realize what she's turned them into. what she's done to them. they are just kids, and I was too. I really wish there was something I could do, but you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

It's been about half a year since I got groomed, I can't stop thinking about them and how much I miss them, it makes me nauseous honestly, how close I was to them and how often we'd text, now I feel lonely even if I have friends, this constant feeling of loneliness is draining

Can they not fit the stereotype? Can they be soft, kind, childlike, Fragile, big emotions or emotional, Etc. I always see these big bad males and I Wonder if one could be the complete opposite of that and still hurt a kid. Sources are very appreciated. Sorry if I’m actually very wrong about how they actually are.

I know theres no way of me understanding what shes been through but i want to support her

I’m turning 18 in like four months and i guess i kinda fear that once i won’t be a ”taboo” anymore, i’ll ”expire” and i’ll be too old to recieve attention

TW: mention of CSA, SH, past suicidal thoughts, bullying etc.

I (19F) met an older guy back in January, 37M, i’ve always been against age gaps, but I dunno, I was attention deprived which i’ll get into why in a bit, I liked his attention and after struggling with the fact I had a crush on a man twice my age for about 2 weeks, I said fuck it and went for it.

I’ve been through a lot in my life, my biological dad wasn’t a good person and as a toddler I was denied food when staying with him, hit, kept in a dog cage etc. from kindergarten I was bullied badly and by 2nd grade I isolated myself from society as a whole, was seen as the weird kid, never spoke, had no friends anymore etc, its a small town so when most of the kids in your grade decide you’re weird, you’re weird to everyone. They would call me ugly, say I stunk, etc.

When I was 7 or so, I was sexually abused by an older teenage kid who would visit his grandparents who were my neighbours in the summer, when I was 12 or so he moved here, in with them and I stopped going outdoors, by this point anxiety had took over my life.

When I was 12 and in my first year of high school (there is no middle school here) the bullying took a very bad toll on me, my parents were lucky if I went to school 2-3 times a week, I began self harming, had suicidal thoughts etc, I didn’t want to be here anymore. Eventually my mom took me to a psychiatrist and I got diagnosed with Anxiety, Social anxiety and later on Depression, this lead to many years on and off of seeing social workers/psychiatrists in my teenage years, I still had no friends, was home nearly all the time etc. when I was 16, I dropped out.

When I was 17, 3 weeks before my 18th birthday I started feeling very anxious about turning into an adult, I knew I most likely needed a job etc, I knew what people would think of me if I didn’t get one etc, but I knew I wasn’t ready, and my worrying so much about it, I ended up waking up to my first panic attack 2 weeks before my birthday, basically had a mental breakdown that ended in me going to the ER, getting put on antidepressants etc.

I’ve been through a lot and I’m aware, it’s not to make anyone feel bad for me, but I want people to get a glimpse at what my life has been and how its shaped me as a person.

Fast forward to January of this year, I meet this older guy, I like the idea of him even though I tried to tell myself how wrong it is a thousand times, I couldn’t get him out of my mind so I texted him one day. This is the first time I went out of my way to text anyone despite how scared I was, I guess since he’s my uncles best friend, I thought he wouldn’t possibly ever hurt me?

We texted every day for about 2-2.5 weeks and soon he was asking to meet me in person, and I gave in, I met him in person for the first time on February 1st.

I had asked about what we would do beforehand, and he took me to the scenic spot he said he would, it was kind of awkward because i’m so quiet, that’s the way my life has made me, but it didn’t feel too awkward or anything. Eventually he asked if I would like to go back to his place and I said yes.

He gave me a tour of the place, we sat down and not long after he asked if he could kiss me, which led to making out, which led to him asking if i’d like to go to the bedroom, and as stupid as it may sound, I felt like I was supposed to say yes, like I put myself in this position and all I could do was say yes, so I did.

We made out up by the bed before he started to slowly undress me and when he went to take off my pants, I put my hand on the waistband so he couldn’t pull them off, this was about the only time I pushed my boundaries a bit, I was scared, and I was also on my period.

During this encounter he asked me if I wanted to be his gf, he called me perfect, said he would take care of me etc, in my head I recognized all these red flags, I’ve clearly went through a lot of trauma in my life and that has made it very hard for me to let anyone in, and this man in front of me was showing every red flag there is and I was scared, would he even stop if I told him to?

When we were making out in his bed, he told me he loves me, I hesitated to say it back and there was an awkward pause, I could see his eyes widen, I don’t know what the emotion was but he didn’t like that I hesitated, and I felt I had to say it back, so I did.

We cuddled, dry humped etc for awhile before my mom called me, she knew where I was and who I was with, not only is this my first time ever seeing anyone, but he’s an older guy etc, and she was anxious. I used this as an excuse saying my mom wanted me back home.

The next day he asked to see me again, and I thought it was too early so I said no, but the day after we saw each other again, we had sex.

I don’t even know if I consented, I don’t know what to call whatever the fuck happened between us but he asked if he could take off my pants and I nodded, next thing you know hes lining himself up and looking up at me, we’re not speaking but I could practically see it in his eyes, “will she tell me to stop?” I didn’t. The only thing I managed to get out was one word, “Condom.” and he confirmed he heard it, he put it inside for a minute without one, but then went and grabbed one. This is how all our sexual encounters went, he would put it in without one for a bit before putting one on, I feel so fucking stupid for going to see a man when I can’t even speak about my boundaries, I know about STD’s, I know the pregnancy risks etc. but what this guy wanted is what I let him do, I didn’t know how to say no, I just wanted to feel loved.

We would meet up every 2 days of the week and we would have sex every time, eventually that became every 3 days, etc until we only saw each other once a week. By this point he no longer said I love you etc, he had asked to be just FWB for now at some point because of “all the things I’m going through” (yes, I’m going through a lot) and stupid me agreed, but once again I was too scared to say anything. He said he wanted to take me out and stuff later on, when my personal life got better.

There was so many times I wanted to end it, tell him I don’t feel like this is what I want but I could never get the courage to, even over text, I contemplated asking him what his intentions were a thousand times and I never could find it in me to.

2 weeks or so ago, we hook up, and after finishing up when hes about to take me home, hes waiting for me to finish getting dressed and kind of standing there nervously, I finish, and he walks up to me holding both my arms on either side of me and says he thinks its best we just be friends from now on. This broke my heart, as fucked as this situation has been, he was all I had. He said that maybe in the future if the opportunity arises, we’ll see each other again. He has a seasonal job from May to September where he only gets weekends to himself, so part of me wanted to believe he was trying not to string me along, another part knew this was it, he had his fun and he was done with me.

Yesterday night, I was scrolling through facebook where we have each other on, and I saw a girl tagged him in a video of them 2 making out, in it she says hes hers so all you b**tches better stay away, this destroyed me. She posted another video afterwards captioned “marking our territory, both in pure happiness”

I’m so fucking disgusted and disturbed I don’t even know how I feel, I didn’t cry last night but I started shaking, and felt like I would throw up, I still feel like i’ll throw up.

I was a vulnerable girl craving to have someone, and I don’t know how anyone could put anyone through this, let alone your best friends niece. I feel like an emotional wreck who is going to get admitted to the hospital/psych ward any minute.

I hope she has fun with him, all the stuff in that video is what he would say to me at the beginning, before I was just a body to use, so she can have him all she wants.

My entire life, I have never let anyone in, nobody has seen who I truly am besides my parents and siblings, and the one time I want to give someone a fucking chance, they just traumatize me even more than what I have been, and I think I’ve already gone through enough trauma in my life. I don’t think i’ll ever try to let someone in again, it hurts to much, I can’t do this.

My parents keep checking in on me, coming in my room when they’re home, calling me when they’re not, they know this man just put me through hell without knowing the whole truth, they’re scared, they know i’m not okay, and i’m scared too.

I got groomed, and now I have to live with this pain and guilt forever.

We talk almost everyday and usually for hours at a time. Sometimes we call. Nothing sexual or romantic goes on so it’s hard for me to tell. He says I’m not a kid, I remember he referred to this famous actor a year younger than me as a kid though.

Obviously nothing is going on yet but if anyone here is an adult, is this normal? Would you be able to see a 15 year old as your peer and talk to them like that?

I met my girlfriend when I was 12 and she was 16 and we started dating at 13 and 17 now were 15 and 19, our relationship has been pretty sexual the whole time but she's always treated me well, thoughts?

23 F. Venting because I am avtually looking for pple who might share the same feelings and/or experience. never told « seriously » anyone.

i was groomed online when i was 13 by a 40 YO pedo.

When i was underage, it‘s never gotten to a point of we actually did anything sexual IRL although he did ask me nude pictures & videos.

He was kind of the « archetype » of pedos ; told me lolita and leon were beautiful love stories, posted explicit pictures of school girls on tumblr, wrote sex‘ texts talking about weird dynamics, was turned on by me hugging my teddybear etc…

When I was 20, I was completely lost and kind of still attached to him and the whole fantasy (even though we were not even talking at the time). I asked him to meet up, convincing myself I was saying goodbye to an old ghost of mine, wanting explenations from him, etc. Ended up letting him kiss me.

now, I’m 23. And sometimes I think about him, like now. and i feel so stupid because ; it was ONLY online, and, well, it was a long time ago, and i let him « touch » me when i wasnt a minor. when i should have been wise enough.

I have never talked about this in a serious way, i mean when I have talked about this experience to someone close i was doing it in a « jokingly » way, because I feel like i should be able to completely move on, and i feel like its not that deep to me (even though reading some other cybergroomings made me wanna throw up and so much angry for pple, its not the same when it happens to me y’know ?)

idk. just wanted to share, and looking for pple who might understand what i’m going through ?

i don’t know what to do with those feelings ? i also feel rage, sometimes, because it’s so obvious to me that i wasn’t the only one, and that his computer must be full of p***** stuff, and probablt still my shit.

I wish i could trap him, protect other girls.

Tired and angry all the time, i miss him alot he felt so different
i dont knkw what im doint anymore my life is so hopeless and im just accepting it im not trying to change
im closer to doing it now i just want life to be over
i dont feel connected to anything just angry and sad and empty
i want something real rigjt now
drinking is the only thing that helps and makes me happy but nothing else
i dont wanna do this anymkre i cant take it

sorry if there’s too many details, i’m very confused, and i have disgusting flashbacks of all things that i sent

it happened when i was like 10 or 11, i don’t remember, parent didn’t spend time with me, so i spend it all in my phone.
I discovered anonymous chat rooms
and started talking to people. Most likely because I was craving attention, I started chatting with all sorts of people there—mostly older guys on purpose (I lied and said I was 13, and talked to guys between 15 and 26, I don’t remember exactly).
At some point, I started noticing more and more people asking for SOME inappropriate photos, and I decided to agree—I was little naive girl. At first, I sent harmless photos, but then I started moving on to more filthy ones, and in return, I heard love, compliments, praise, and attention.
after I really turned 13, I stop chatting there.

On one hand, I understand that this was grooming, and that my sense of guilt “Damn it, I agreed to it all by myself” doesn’t make sense, since an 11 year old child (or even a 13 y.o, which is who I was pretending to be) can’t give consent to ANYONE for something like that. But I still feel guilty, and like, I agreed to it myself and did it of my own free will.

my friend told me that everything is not “not THAT bad” (how i’m using to think now), and:
—“that’s why you always want to be a little weak girl, that’s why you want attention from older guys, that it’s all because your family and especially father absents”—
No, I have a dad, but not emotionally he’s always working, and my mom is a nervous bitch who’s practically openly jealous of me, because of youth.

I’m 15 now, turning 16 in December, and I still feel like shit even after almost 5 years. In June, I’m going to see a psychologist about my depression, but I’m not sure if I want to tell him about all this, since I’m not sure how serious it really is

i miss calling him everyday. last week we talked for the first time after weeks (cuz of tests lol) and we sexted but im so sad cuz it feels like hes using me js to get off. he told me he isnt the typa person to be horny and js leave but it dure does feel like it. i just want him to call, i dont want anything like this idk why he is doing this to me and playing with my feelings. :(. im so unbelievably sad right now he called me so many pet names

Let's skip the song and dance.

For the men:

I absolutely positively without a doubt will not sleep with you or do anything sexual. It does not exist within me to play you, manipulate you, or even charm you.

For the women: same applies but innately I hope for more, -especially if you're a mom.

What's going on I hear you ask. A lot. Now I realize I will gain criticism for not being believed. Though I can provide documentation for everything, even video footage.

My ex is from upstate New York. He is a trust fund baby who comes from generational.wealth. He boasts of having “White privilege bitch.” He once said If O.J. could get away with it then so will he. Embarrassingly we're both well known by Sac PD. For him there's been a helicopter search, police standoff, and a bite outta crime by a Police K9 Unit. Despite multiple arrests which lead to charges filed by the D.A, only to be dropped (he's retained private counsel) he's continued on in his cruelty. There's been multiple knockouts, strangulations, intentional poisoning by giving me fentanyl, which caused me to what's the term? No longer live! Die? Murdered? Fraud by the thousands, revenge porn, intentionally everything escalated. Retaliation, theft, vandalism, and property damage. Then there was the Murder for Hire case investigated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

2-15-26 his real SECRET girl friend infected with HIV was murdered, shot in the head.

3-15-26 he hit then ran over my friend twice

with his Toyota tundra.

Everything was over a bitch.

I need help and I'm willing to work for it.

Thats all folks.