u/MIMIxx5x

I'm a minor (15yo) and I believe I'm hypersexual (no diagnosis). I've had this since a young age and always had nasty thoughts. Those thoughts have always made me wonder what's wrong with me and why I think about such disgusting things. Now that I'm a teenager, I can kinda push away those thoughts? But especially when I have a bad mental health episode, I barely can and I crave it so bad.

The most fucked up part is that I could get my cravings satisfied by my gf, but first, I don't wanna use her. She doesn't deserve that, and second, I kinda want it to have no meaning? In my head, I crave to be abused and used and then just get tossed away.

Now to the grooming part, I have been groomed before, and what makes it even worse is that I liked it and even sought it. I loved what those people said about me and my body (also sometimes sent them pics of myself) and what they wanted to do with me. At one point, it got so bad that I would've met up with someone (gladly, it didn't happen).

There was also one situation where I was messaging a 19yo, and it was going on for like 2–3 months. Our conversations were very sexual, and sometimes we'd even send each other pics and videos. I knew it was wrong, but I simply didn't do anything about it. I did everything he said and one time even took pics on a train in the bathroom. Sometimes it was really exhausting, and it made me think so much worse. Btw, all that happened before I was with my gf.

She kinda helped me get out of this, not on purpose. She still doesn't know about it, but some things she told me hit me very hard, and I blocked the 19yo (many times I thought about and was almost about to unblock them). After this incident, I broke down and regretted it so much. It made my anxiety so bad in the weeks after. I was and still am so disgusted with myself.

I'm kinda in a better headspace now, but today it was really bad again. I almost was about to let some creeps text me and groom me again. And my coping mechanism aren't really a better option.

So I cut my hips and no one knows except one of my friends. But she also knes from the start and even with ger I barely talk about that. I really don't know if I want to tell my friends and family. Like, how do I explain that? Friends would be hard but nit impossible but family's be hell. Not that they'd not care, it's be the complete opposite. Both would worry so much and I really wouldn't know hpw to explain it. And rn it's not even a big deal for me, I havn't had urges in a while.

But the scars are also one thing, because no one knows I can't wear clothes where you can see them. I mean since it's on the hips there are not many clothes they'd show in. But for example when we were on vacation I constantly had to pull down my swimsuit to cover them. And I want to wear cute clothes abd bikinis but I can't, cuz it wouldn't cover my scars. I'm also a bit worried to show them in public, but I don't think too many would pay attention to that.

And another thing is IT HURTS WHILE WALKING. My scars sometimes hurts more than fresh ones. If I lay on them for too long or after long walks.

Anyway, Byeee STAY SAFE!! 😝😝 (minor btw, so it'd be an even a bigger deal)

So it‘s not been too long since I sh, there was a time before that where I did it but then I stopped for a few years. I only got back in contact with it because my friend used to sh (a few weeks clean, also really proud of her). Idk why I started again. Maybe to feel with her? To try it again? Make myself seem worse? Idk, it only started small but now it has gotten more frequent and worse. Now I use it to regulate my emotions, but I noticed I have more urges or do it more when I talk with said friend. Not because they self harmed but everything involving them is so overwhelming and I don’t know how else to deal with that. She extremely >!suicidal!< and has severe depression. I made another post about that in r/offmychesthttps ://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/s/4Qnd3MNm8Sand I feel like that makes me sh the most. I know it‘s not her fault and I don’t blame her. I just don’t know how to feel about this. Is this unhealthy? Should I leave? I don’t want to leave her.

Bin offen für alles und jeden, ist egal ob älter, jünger, online, irl, introvertier, extrovertier, laut, leise, chaotisc, ALLES. (Sorry, hab das nicht gesagt, so älter ist vielleicht 2-3 Jahre, oder eventuell 4 😭)

Wenn irl, wohne in der Nähe von Köln, Düsseldorf, Duisburg, Essen, Dortmund, Münster, Aachen, Moers, Oberhausen. Also das wäre so eine gute Distanz, Ich hab kein Problem damit ein bisschen weiter zu fahren. Aber online ist auch toll.

BYEEE

Ich scheiß jetzt darauf ob das gut ist oder nicht, aber hier ist mein Snap, jeder der auch nur ansatzweise komisch, creepy oder weird ist wird blockier. Und BITTE, niemand über 20, am besten sogar 18 aber mal gucke. User: mimix5xx

Well me and my friend kinda have a situationship. We started out as friends and I still view them as my friend but we‘re also more than that. Like we‘re not in a relationship but we practically do everything you do in a relationship, we cuddle, we kiss, we say “I love you“ to each other, we text almost every day and there also happened some other physical stuff.

And idk what we are, I don‚t think I fully love them in a romantic way, definitely as a friend and as the something inbetween. I also don‘t think we fit as a couple, their idea of a partner and mine are so different.

We both like what we have but we‘re so uncertain of what we are. Is it a relationshi? situationship? Friends with benefit? An open relationship? Just friends? I‘m a bit worried that it‘s unhealthy. I mean we still talk about partners we’d like to have and stuff like that and we both also said we can do stuff with other people but idk, to me it feels wrong and I think they‘d also be upset if I do those things we do with other people.

Well me and my friend kinda have a situationship. We started out as friends and I still view them as my friend but we‘re also more than that. Like we‘re not in a relationship but we practically do everything you do in a relationship, we cuddle, we kiss, we say “I love you“ to each other, we text almost every day and there also happened some other physical stuff.

And idk what we are, I don‚t think I fully love them in a romantic way, definitely as a friend and as the something inbetween. I also don‘t think we fit as a couple, their idea of a partner and mine are so different.

We both like what we have but we‘re so uncertain of what we are. Is it a relationshi? situationship? Friends with benefit? An open relationship? Just friends? I‘m a bit worried that it‘s unhealthy. I mean we still talk about partners we’d like to have and stuff like that and we both also said we can do stuff with other people but idk, to me it feels wrong and I think they‘d also be upset if I do those things we do with other people.

Hiii, how are you?

I cut on my hips and only baby styro, it's really not deep and they close up so fast. I feel so invalid, it's not even worth mentioning. It's like it's never enough. I mean I take care of them, but only so I can do more and have new space. I only do it on my hips because there almost no one will notice, in winter I might switch to my thighs. Cuz like I said, i don't have a lot of space and the cuts are already spreading to my stomatch.

Anyway, byeee. STAY SAFE!! 😝😝