u/Draxmoor

I'd been tracking this number for two years. Had a specific date in my head when I thought it might happen, refreshed Personal Capital more than I'd like to admit, mentioned it to basically nobody in real life because nobody in my life would get it. Then the number crossed on a random Tuesday afternoon while I was eating lunch at my desk.

I looked at it, thought "huh, okay," and went back to my sandwich. For three days I felt genuinely nothing which I did not expect. I'd been building toward this milestone like it was going to feel like something and it just didn't. Started wondering if I'd been doing this whole thing wrong, like maybe the number was never going to feel like anything and I'd just been optimizing my life around a spreadsheet for years.

Then on Thursday I was driving home from the grocery store and it kind of hit me all at once. I grew up in a household where money stress was constant background noise. My mom worked two jobs for most of my childhood and I remember very specifically the feeling of not knowing if things were going to be okay. And I sat in a parking lo t outside a Trader Joe's and just cried for a bit because 31 year old me has more in investments than my parents ever had in their entire lives combined probably. The number itself doesn't mean that much. What i t means is that feeling I grew up with is gone and not coming back. That part hit different

You said be honest. I was honest. Why are you mad at me right now.

This happens to me constantly and I still haven't figured out the logic. Someone asks what you think, you tell them what you think, and suddenly the conversation has a weird energy and you're the one who did something wrong. Like sorry for taking your question at face value I guess.

The version that really gets me is when they ask like four people and three of them say what they want to hear and I'm the one who doesn't and I'm the one who gets the look. So it wasn't actually a question. It was a vote where every option was yes and I somehow missed the memo.

And then, and this is the part that actually drives me insane, these same people will later say things like "nobody ever tells me the truth" or "I wish people would just be real with me." You had that. I was that. You gave me a weird look for three days.

I've basically stopped giving real answers to anyone who I know is going to do this. Just say it looks great, say the plan sounds solid, move on. Which I don't actually want to do but what's the alternitive here. Get the look again?

Just say you want reassurance. I'll give you reassurance. I'm genuinely good at it. But don't dress it up as a real question and then be suprised when someone treats it like one.